To be so bloody happy to have another BOY on the way

[blueberry23]

Lighthearted thread

But I see so many threads with gender disappointment towards having a boy

My reasons for being over the moon for DS#2 in my tummy....,,

I will remain queen of my house (bar the dogs!)
Boys adore their mummies
Less emotions to manage
Less pink and glitter hopefully 🤣
Brothers
Dirty knees and climbing trees and rough and tumble

I'm just here for it all

What are your reasons if you love being a boy mum like me?

Oh do shut up

Congratulations! I have two boys and I really wanted two boys so was very grateful, when I was pregnant with ds2 before we found out the gender I felt guilty at how badly I wanted a boy and knew I would have disappointed with a girl and that made me feel awful. You definitely DON'T have less emotions to manage and I think children love their mummies regardless of sex though.
During my second pregnancy it was unreal how many people said 'are you hoping for a girl?/Hope its a girl this time ' and were shocked when I said actually I'm hoping for a boy. I grew up in a female dominated family and always imagined myself a boy mum, plus wanted to reuse all my first borns things.

Can you not see though that the o/p’s post is precisely why people have gender disappointment?

they want nice, clean, well behaved girls they can dress in pink and sparkles. That sit and craft and not spend hours in the freezing cold playing in the mud.

they don’t want a dirty greedy boy (my mil’s description of her son as a baby).

the sooner we get rid of these toxic stereotypes and people get their heads around rugby playing girls and ballet dancing boys, the sooner people will accept that their baby might not be a collection of stereotypes and they might not get what they want, even if the sex matches up.

I am a very happy "boy mum" as I have lucked out and got the best kids ever. But I mean, presumably everyone thinks that??

I do get what you're saying with gender disappointment always being about boys, but your post seems to be the same thing.

Wanting a girl because you can dress her up and go on shopping trips is the same mindset as being happy with a boy because you like mud and tractors. They're all individuals, and we're just going to perpetuate the stereotypes if we approach it like this

@Oysterbabe totally agree with you

I'm also a mum of two boys, got loads of shitty comments in both pregnancies about it being a shame they weren't girls, and also hate seeing those threads (they're also the one thing that still brings out a bit of trauma/rage in me from recurrent miscarriage). But the OP isn't countering the stereotypes, she's reinforcing them. Arguing against people saying girls are better than boys by saying that it's boys that are better is what misses the point entirely.

I don't know what it is with a boy, they're so active yet also so gentle and loving. Loads of fun 💙

I'm female and I adore my mum! My boys love me too I hope... My fierce love for them is not predicated on them being boys.

My boys conform to gender stereotypes, if anything I feel a bit left out...I am sometimes wistful for a little girl but recognise the futility of this.

Congratulations OP you're allowed to feel how you feel but can't say I would ever prefer one sex over another. I do find having 2 the same makes things easier in a practical sense though.

I have two boys and two girls.

They all climbed trees and were pretty similar as kids.

The girls can shop snd cocktail now though
As in their 20s. 👍👍👍

Am old woman once said to my mum about her 2 daughters. 'Boys are more loving though!'

Silly cow 'mums response was 'no my girls are loving and I guess yours would be if you showed them you loved them as much as your boys!'

Miss my fiesty mum

I adore my son….

although he is far more emotional than either of my DD.
My DD are far more ‘rough and tumble’ than he’ll ever want to be.
His favourite colour is pink….as are his football shirts/boots/shin pads.
All of my DC adore me 😇

In response to the "you're missing the point" posts, nope. Start a thread about loving your boys, being happily involved in a boy only family etc. More of that, yes please, all day every day. Do we need to denigrate girls to do that? Inflict stereotypes? Imply girls are overly emotional? Slag off pink? Call ourselves queens?

No. No no no.

If you start with stereotypes and expectations, where do you end? Beer swilling? In control? Highest earner? Practical? Sporty? Tall? Handy? Assertive? Designated driver? Footie fan?

It's insidious and we should be dismantling the binary, smashing the expectations. Or all you do is enforce it. Celebrating boys does not mean shoving them in pigeon holes while they're still in utero.

And can I just admit that to my eternal shame that I had gender disappointment? I wanted a boy. I thought girls were emotional and frilly and that I wouldn't know wtf to do with one. And I eventually dismantled it and realised my mother wanted a girl who was sweet and coy and frilly and emotional and I disappointed her. I let her down. I was too much like a boy. I was wrong. I was worried that I would repeat history if I had a girl. That's where the stereotypes get us, perpetuating the damage.

Let's just celebrate the children we have.

@blueberry23
Congratulations Op!
I have two lovely sons and an amazing grandson, I never wanted a girl but would have loved her just the same. I've now got a beautiful step daughter and I love her. There's just something amazing about having boys though. Mine are adults now and just as amazing!
Enjoy your sons! ❤️

See I don’t get on with my mum precisely because of this gender crap.

she hated that I was sporty and active. She thought girls should sit nicely, make polite chat with her friends. Growing up the disappointment that I didn’t appreciate shopping, trips to the nail salon, I didn’t want to wear make up or “nice” clothes was real. She used to hide clothes I bought she didn’t approve of.

I was made to give up sport at secondary because it wasn’t “good for me” to be training at a high level.

even now she’ll offer to “treat me” to some new lipstick, or new shoes. I’ll get skirts and eyeshadow for Christmas.

my dad as well clearly wanted a boy. Wouldn’t take me to football with him because girls can’t play football.

as for “better toys” wtf? Are these toys penis operated? Can’t thing of any other reason a girl can’t play with any toy a boy can.

it’s damaging. Accept your kids personalities and don’t limit them by societies expectation.

As for emotions, I work in a completely male dominated environment and it’s emotion central.

In terms of generic office chat, the 20yr olds constantly talk about the gym, how their bodies look, latest fashions, hair, etc. The 30/40yr olds are always discussing their kids, lack of sleep, hating their ‘dad bod’.

Apart from major physical differences, we are all as similar and dissimilar as each other.

Congrats op! I have 3 girls and if I was brave enough to go for number 4 would have loved a son! Very happy with my lot though.

My eldest is always knee deep in mud though, always the dirtiest uniform coming out of school but she also adores Barbie, pink and sparkly things!

My middle has the most amazing sense of humour, she really makes me belly laugh and has no fear when it comes to making a joke and getting a laugh.

My youngest is still a baby really, under 2. But she will fight like a gladiator when she’s angry 🤣

Its not all princesses and emotions here 🤣

I'm a boy mum and a girl mum. I get why you started the thread because boys are awesome, but I don't like the examples because they are very stereotype as people say...

I'm queen of my house regardless because I'm an independent female who's showing my son a woman can be so. My dd is also a strong female who was very much what you could call a stereotypical "tom boy" and never liked pink or glitter! She was in the mud... She's also a "mummy's girl" and we are very close even as a teen.

My ds was never a mud and grazed knees boy, he's a daddy's boy and his emotions have far outweighed anyone in the house! He's been much harder work in that area.

I know it's not the point in the thread but these stereotypes are why so many boys grow up to be really rubbish men, especially when there's an adoring mother behind them.

I have 2 boys and a girl, I was over the moon for each of them. My girl loves climbing everything and getting muddy..my boys hate getting dirty!

yeah exactly..

I’m glad you are happy OP.. but less of the lazy stereotyping please.

Congratulations!

I’ve got 3 boys, all completely different personalities and interests- plenty of emotions, glitter and pink over the years as well as all the other stuff you mention.

God this thread is depressing. I know it’s “lighthearted” (always an excuse for something retrograde and twee). But it’s like the last fifty years never happened.

Congratulations 💙

I have one boy and love him to bits. Boys are lovely, no doubt

Are you totally sure there isn't any gender disappointed on your side OP? It honestly sounds like you're trying to convince YOURSELF that having boys is better.

My boy is so emotional that his teacher often pulls me to one side for a chat! So I don't agree with the lack of emotions.

I am however a Mum of 2 boys and adore them, but then I'm sure I would adore girls! I think I'd worry more about them growing up with girls, sorry to say. I'd worry about misogyny, girls being spiteful to one another, EDs, self-esteem, sexual assault, more so than boys.

I’ve got a boy and I’m pregnant with baby #2 now. I had sooo many comments before I found out the gender implying that I’d want it to be a girl. My FIL outright said ‘I know you’re not supposed to want it to be one or the other but you’ll want a girl won’t you’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ I laughed it off the first time but he said it again about 5 times. I had comments from my mum about it and I could just sense at the gender reveal they hoped it was a girl. My friend even said about someone who was having their third boy ‘oh you’d just give up wouldn’t you?’ 🤔 and she also asked if I’d have a third if my second was a boy. I hate it all! My little boy is the best thing on earth. I’m so glad he’s a boy! He’s hilarious, so loving, gives cuddles and kisses all the time and is into really practical things like trying to fix things. He’s so chilled and has slept ridiculously well from so early on. I just love having a boy! ❤️ Congratulations