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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so bloody happy to have another BOY on the way

581 replies

blueberry23 · 26/04/2023 19:41

Lighthearted thread

But I see so many threads with gender disappointment towards having a boy

My reasons for being over the moon for DS#2 in my tummy....,,

I will remain queen of my house (bar the dogs!)
Boys adore their mummies
Less emotions to manage
Less pink and glitter hopefully 🤣
Brothers
Dirty knees and climbing trees and rough and tumble

I'm just here for it all

What are your reasons if you love being a boy mum like me?

OP posts:
MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:11

People going on about gender stereotypes and girls are conditioned to be kind, to shut up etc

Well I'm not convinced after being on mn for 14 years that that is true!

Especially reading this thread where there is so much aggression being shown towards a pregnant woman . Don't think anyone here got the gender stereotype memo

SemperIdem · 27/04/2023 00:13

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:11

People going on about gender stereotypes and girls are conditioned to be kind, to shut up etc

Well I'm not convinced after being on mn for 14 years that that is true!

Especially reading this thread where there is so much aggression being shown towards a pregnant woman . Don't think anyone here got the gender stereotype memo

Being pregnant doesn’t make you above criticism 🥴

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:18

SemperIdem · 27/04/2023 00:13

Being pregnant doesn’t make you above criticism 🥴

Show quote history

14 pages of shit at a pg op who's happy she's having a boy. Who may have made some ridiculous gender stereotypes but bloody hell, the amount of gender dissapointment threads on here from people having boys are ridiculous

But you carry on , if it makes you feel better about your life putting a pg woman down

SemperIdem · 27/04/2023 00:24

If it helps I’m equally critical on gender disappointment threads, as they too are fuelled by, as you yourself say “ridiculous gender stereotypes”.

Because I really don’t think being pregnant means a woman is above criticism.

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:34

I'm fucking old, well I feel it. I just don't see the need of pieling on someone who is pregnant and will have been getting the whole ohh maybe it will be a girl this time thing since she found out

I've had 5 boys, I've had it every single time . The people I know haven't had it as much if they have a girl first

Its the whole a son is a son till he gets him a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life bollocks we see on here all the time

Winter2019 · 27/04/2023 00:37

Sissynova · 26/04/2023 19:47

Sounds like a ridiculous outlook.

Do girls not climb trees? Do they not love their mummies? Why would a boy be less emotional?

I find these ‘oh it’s so lighthearted and funny’ posts which actually just contain raging and damaging sexism quite depressing.

Agree!!!

RandomSunday · 27/04/2023 00:47

I’m with you OP. I have boys and girls. Give me boys to raise any day. If I had a choice I would have opted for all boys.

DH preferred girls - not that he’s ever done anything with the girls- or the boys for that matter 🤷🏻‍♀️ His sole reason for wanting girls is that his family told him that a man only proves his worth once he produces daughters.

That must be right then 🧐…. Because his mother said… 🙄

Boys all the way for me 👍

BadNomad · 27/04/2023 00:47

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:34

I'm fucking old, well I feel it. I just don't see the need of pieling on someone who is pregnant and will have been getting the whole ohh maybe it will be a girl this time thing since she found out

I've had 5 boys, I've had it every single time . The people I know haven't had it as much if they have a girl first

Its the whole a son is a son till he gets him a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life bollocks we see on here all the time

But that's exactly what the OP is doing. She has decided boys are better because of stereotypes. It's people like her (people with biases based on stereotypes) who made those comments to you. Whereas people like us just say congratulations.

CallieQ · 27/04/2023 00:56
Confused
CallieQ · 27/04/2023 00:57

rather than getting caught up on their genitalia

Sounds painful...

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/04/2023 00:59

Op is being a bit nieve I think , being a mother of a young boy but you do get negative comments if you are a mother of all boys

Mamaneedsadrink · 27/04/2023 01:30

I've found it very interesting just how different girls and boys are from a very, very young age. I don't know why people would say any differently, just from basic observation. My baby and my baby group babies were all born during lockdown, so completely isolated except from their parents and first borns. When we finally got to meet, our children were about 5 months old. It was fascinating to see the subtle differences. My friends daughter loved cuddly toys, my son wasn't interested but loved stacking blocks and paying with wheels, just small things but all very interesting.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 02:21

SemperIdem · 27/04/2023 00:13

Being pregnant doesn’t make you above criticism 🥴

Show quote history

No but the gleeful pile on here is totally disproportionate

Oysterbabe · 27/04/2023 04:08

Mamaneedsadrink · 27/04/2023 01:30

I've found it very interesting just how different girls and boys are from a very, very young age. I don't know why people would say any differently, just from basic observation. My baby and my baby group babies were all born during lockdown, so completely isolated except from their parents and first borns. When we finally got to meet, our children were about 5 months old. It was fascinating to see the subtle differences. My friends daughter loved cuddly toys, my son wasn't interested but loved stacking blocks and paying with wheels, just small things but all very interesting.

This is just a personality difference. My son adores cuddly toys. What you're seeing is conformation bias.

Oysterbabe · 27/04/2023 04:08

*confirmation

Cantthinkofaname2203 · 27/04/2023 04:35

Mamaneedsadrink · 27/04/2023 01:30

I've found it very interesting just how different girls and boys are from a very, very young age. I don't know why people would say any differently, just from basic observation. My baby and my baby group babies were all born during lockdown, so completely isolated except from their parents and first borns. When we finally got to meet, our children were about 5 months old. It was fascinating to see the subtle differences. My friends daughter loved cuddly toys, my son wasn't interested but loved stacking blocks and paying with wheels, just small things but all very interesting.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu44AqF0iI

these people all think they are treating the babies equally- yet the girls are given soft toys and the boys blocks and wheels…

Don’t you think parents have gender bias? Everyone does , consciously or not.

Girl toys vs boy toys: The experiment - BBC Stories

The Experiment: Are you sure you don't gender-stereotype children in the toys you choose for them?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nWu44AqF0iI

Hesma · 27/04/2023 05:32

All of your reasons apply to my girls @blueberry23 but I’m glad you’re happy 😃. Like you, I am also happy to have 2 of the same gender. Good luck with your pregnancy

simplicity2023 · 27/04/2023 05:33

Mamaneedsadrink · 27/04/2023 01:30

I've found it very interesting just how different girls and boys are from a very, very young age. I don't know why people would say any differently, just from basic observation. My baby and my baby group babies were all born during lockdown, so completely isolated except from their parents and first borns. When we finally got to meet, our children were about 5 months old. It was fascinating to see the subtle differences. My friends daughter loved cuddly toys, my son wasn't interested but loved stacking blocks and paying with wheels, just small things but all very interesting.

My daughter loves stacking blocks and playing with cars. She finds her doll and cuddle toys quite boring.

Scalottia · 27/04/2023 06:48

strawberryfluff · 26/04/2023 21:53

I mean breed is kind of important..

Show quote history

😂

MyPenIsHuge · 27/04/2023 07:24

My boy loves glitter and pink 🤣

mrstnov13 · 27/04/2023 07:34

Have people been disappointed for you when you've mentioned you're having a second boy by any chance?

Boys are amazing. Girls are amazing. Congratulations!

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/04/2023 08:09

@Misspacorabanne

Are you telling me you didn’t buy pink clothes or paint the nursery in stereotypical girly colours? Did you think of dolls houses, toy prams and many other things many girls (yes boys too) but many girls enjoy playing with??

I absolutely did not buy pink clothes or paint the nursery in stereotypical girly colours when I learned I was having a girl. It literally did not cross my mind.

Do people actually a) have “nurseries” and b) paint them in gendered colours these days? Words fail me. No wonder people are agonising so much about sex and gender at the moment.

GneissGuysFinishLast · 27/04/2023 08:09

RandomSunday · 27/04/2023 00:47

I’m with you OP. I have boys and girls. Give me boys to raise any day. If I had a choice I would have opted for all boys.

DH preferred girls - not that he’s ever done anything with the girls- or the boys for that matter 🤷🏻‍♀️ His sole reason for wanting girls is that his family told him that a man only proves his worth once he produces daughters.

That must be right then 🧐…. Because his mother said… 🙄

Boys all the way for me 👍

What a horrid thing to say.

Peppadog · 27/04/2023 08:22

Mamaneedsadrink · 27/04/2023 01:30

I've found it very interesting just how different girls and boys are from a very, very young age. I don't know why people would say any differently, just from basic observation. My baby and my baby group babies were all born during lockdown, so completely isolated except from their parents and first borns. When we finally got to meet, our children were about 5 months old. It was fascinating to see the subtle differences. My friends daughter loved cuddly toys, my son wasn't interested but loved stacking blocks and paying with wheels, just small things but all very interesting.

You are very right, it is not confirmation bias. It is a fact that there are differences between the sexes that show up at a very early age. It IS different raising boys and girls, of course it is, and some toys do tend to naturally appeal more to boys and others to girls, just as different hobbies tend to appeal more to men than to women and vice versa. There are always outliers and a whole variety of toys should be offered so a child is able to develop their own preferences. I think the differences show mildly in toddlerhood but are very obvious by age 4-5.
All children are interesting and fascinating and there is no 'better' sex to raise, they are individuals, but it is obvious that there are differences driven by biology.

waterlego · 27/04/2023 08:38

Misspacorabanne · 26/04/2023 22:50

Op is just saying she’s happy to have another boy! People saying don’t stereotype them, they all have their own personalities and shouldn’t be put in neat boxes, they do, but are you really telling me when you found out you were expecting a girl you didn’t at one point think of the things you could do with that girl that a boy may not enjoy as much? Are you telling me you didn’t buy pink clothes or paint the nursery in stereotypical girly colours? Did you think of dolls houses, toy prams and many other things many girls (yes boys too) but many girls enjoy playing with?? Come on, OP can do the same, it doesn’t mean she’s stereotyping, I’m sure like many others, the op will except her son for who he is, and who he will be in the future, his likes dislikes.

I didn’t find out I was expecting a girl until she was born. We painted her room yellow and my (arty) husband painted lions, zebras and giraffes on the walls. I bought lots of vests and babygros in white, pale green and yellow. Of course once she was born, other people bought her lots of pink clothes. I wouldn’t have done so as I don’t personally like pink at all. I also didn’t preempt what toys she would like as she grew up. She had a range of different things to play with. She particularly enjoyed being outdoors and playing with sand, mud and water!

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