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Original poster

Made in Chelsea blokes - twins via surrogate

358 replies

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 19:39

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

OP posts:
FMLWTF · 26/04/2023 02:00

Should they not be able to have children because they are a gay couple?

If one of them has a womb they can probably manage it. Otherwise, I guess nature has denied them. Having children is not a right.

Simonjt · 26/04/2023 05:39

Clymene · 25/04/2023 23:03

I am against all surrogacy, no matter what the reason. Children aren't commodities - they shouldn't be bought, sold or traded.

You’re also against adoption then as parents through adoption pay a fee for their children.

Clymene · 26/04/2023 05:44

@Simonjt giving a home to a child or children who doesn't have one like you have is not the same thing at all.

Simonjt · 26/04/2023 05:46

Clymene · 26/04/2023 05:44

@Simonjt giving a home to a child or children who doesn't have one like you have is not the same thing at all.

So you do think its okay to buy children then?

ohfook · 26/04/2023 05:57

Oddessa · 25/04/2023 20:24

Wow. It really shocks me when I come across such sickening views as yours OP.

You have children and yet you want to deny people that?

  • Their surrogate wasn’t forced into it
  • She could have had an abortion if she didn’t want to carry twins, it’s her body, her choice. Plus she’s legally the parent until she transfer parental rights.

I’m so glad I don’t know anyone like you in real life OP,

I think that's a very naïve way of looking at it. I'm not sure what my views on surrogacy are tbh but I think the fact that rich women aren't volunteering in droves to be surrogates whereas in poorer countries women do it in greater frequency does need examining. As does the restrictions placed upon the women while they are pregnant.

Ultimately people don't deserve children - it's not a right. It's a blessing that very sadly not everybody gets to enjoy.

forgotmyusername1 · 26/04/2023 06:19

Someone I know has tried to adopt with her husband

They both work in decent jobs
Own their own house
Wanted to adopt a child of 3+ not because they can't have children but because they want to give a home to a child who needs it.

After two years of classes, meetings etc they have been turned down
Reasons given were her weight (she is a size 16), lack of experience of trauma and the social worker couldn't understand their motivation to adopt rather than have their own children.

Adoption isn't as easy as some in here seem to think it is.

secretllama · 26/04/2023 06:22

I just can't get outraged over surrogacy when the baby is so loved and wanted when there's children who have literally never experienced an ounce of love in their life/been abused by their natural parents.
I wonder how people would feel morally about banning these people becoming mothers. Do you agree with sterilising these people? Why would that be different to literally banning loving parents having a child via surrogate?

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 26/04/2023 06:36

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 23:44

It’s completely different when it’s your own baby FFS.

Women acting as surrogates are being treated as vessels being paid for the use of their body.

I am not the one treating her as a body in this scenario.

And I highly doubt she knew the full risks to her health with a twin pregnancy. No one can.

it can’t and shouldn’t be able to be consented to.

Show quote history

But WHY is it different? You can't just say its different and have no logical explanation. We are all vessels to birth children. But you are acting as if these women are no more than vessels. They have their own families and people who love them, they have their own reasons for doing this, they have career aspirations and favourite foods. YOU are treating these women like they are nothing more than an object. You are talking about them as if they shouldn't have any control over their body. You were allowed to take the risk, possibly die, but what, so long as its for your own baby? That doesn't make any bloody sense.

Your parents or siblings or husband wouldn't have cared whether the baby was yours or not, either way they would have been heartbroken at you dying. You were allowed to take that risk, your body be used as a vessel, but its OK your husband put your life at risk because you consented right? These women consent too, they just don't take the baby home. Which is its own argument, but stop talking about these women as if they are objects with no minds of their own.

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 26/04/2023 06:47

FMLWTF · 26/04/2023 02:00

Should they not be able to have children because they are a gay couple?

If one of them has a womb they can probably manage it. Otherwise, I guess nature has denied them. Having children is not a right.

I assume you also feel the same about IVF then, yes?

Joystir59 · 26/04/2023 06:50

britnay · 25/04/2023 20:12

How do you propose two men have a child?
Should they not be able to have children because they are a gay couple?

Plenty of children available for fostering and adoption. Noone has a right to have a child.

Rupiduti · 26/04/2023 07:05

What a sad thread.
I'm telling you now, if my sister or sister in law had been told they are unable to carry a baby. I would do it for them.
I am a fully consenting female adult and nobody typing on a keyboard on here will speak for me in saying I am not giving consent. How do you know what the woman feels?
Ridiculous .

Lucky you having children. Not everyone is lucky enough.

I hope your children aren't gay and have to face big decisions like this

TheMarzipanDildo · 26/04/2023 07:12

Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 20:36

Here we go again ......

Women can do what they like with their bodies.

Gay couples can have children any way they like.

It's not buying a baby.

Twins are common in IVF. So this will occur in surrogacy.

Let's hope your children aren't gay, suffer infertility because otherwise you are going to have a hard pill to swallow

If I’m infertile (which I may well be) I’m still not going to put the risk of carrying a pregnancy and giving birth on another woman. And then start talking about the process like they don’t exist.

IheartNiles · 26/04/2023 07:36

I find it abhorrent. Rich men and women buying babies. You will never meet a rich woman offering herself as a surrogate. The health implications for women having multiple pregnancies and twin births are considerable.

LemonjeIIo · 26/04/2023 07:52

LakeTiticaca · 25/04/2023 22:54

Probably best you butt out and concentrate on your own life OP.
Who is to say that 2 men in a loving relationship can't be good loving parents?
Not heard of any surrogate parents off their heads on crack cocaine living in a shit hole and beating their children death recently. Have you?

I agree with you. I also agree two men can be in a loving relationship, however I was under the impression they had 2 eggs implanted so they could father one each, oram I wrong?

FMLWTF · 26/04/2023 07:54

I assume you also feel the same about IVF then, yes?

Two different things. IVF doesn’t involve hiring a woman’s body to do something your own body can’t do.

kirsty2023 · 26/04/2023 08:02

Rupiduti · 26/04/2023 07:05

What a sad thread.
I'm telling you now, if my sister or sister in law had been told they are unable to carry a baby. I would do it for them.
I am a fully consenting female adult and nobody typing on a keyboard on here will speak for me in saying I am not giving consent. How do you know what the woman feels?
Ridiculous .

Lucky you having children. Not everyone is lucky enough.

I hope your children aren't gay and have to face big decisions like this

I agree well said I've always said the same Flowers

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 26/04/2023 08:06

FMLWTF · 26/04/2023 07:54

I assume you also feel the same about IVF then, yes?

Two different things. IVF doesn’t involve hiring a woman’s body to do something your own body can’t do.

But, 'nature has denied' the couple desperately trying for a baby. Having children is not a right, is it?

I'm not denying that some women are exploited when being surrogates, but not every one.

Why is a woman not free to decide that she would quite like to 'hire' out her womb?

Surely this is one of the cases where you can absolutely be against surrogacy, but only for yourself.

CantFindTheBeat · 26/04/2023 08:12

I really found Tom Daley's interview having thejr babies so distasteful.

He described having babies being hard for him, versus heterosexual couples just needing to have 'a bottle of wine and a good time'.

The total disregard for the myriad of fertility issues and heartbreak so many people face was enormous.

toomuchlaundry · 26/04/2023 08:12

I’m adopted. I was adopted at the time it was all about the adoptive parents, no real thought about the birth parents or the child.

Now adoption is all about what is best for the child, and it is recognised that they have rights to trace their birth parents and to have knowledge about their adoption, and that there can be serious issues for a child knowing they are adopted.

Surrogacy and sperm donor seems to be going backwards as again it seems to be all about the parents who end up with a child, with no thought about the impact on the child.

CantFindTheBeat · 26/04/2023 08:27

In the case of this thread, I think it's the MIC's couple's entitlement and overt self-centredness that is so galling.

The sheer expectation that they want a baby, they are entitled to one and they can buy one, and it's all about them, not the woman facing all the risks, is what really makes me sad.

In general terms, again, commercial^^ surrogacy is always a 'those who have' issue.

Poor people can't afford surrogacy.

Wealthy women don't become commercial surrogates.

In commercial surrogacy, it's 'wealthy people want babies, wealthy people buy babies'.

Original poster
HermioneKipper · 26/04/2023 08:31

CantFindTheBeat · 26/04/2023 08:27

In the case of this thread, I think it's the MIC's couple's entitlement and overt self-centredness that is so galling.

The sheer expectation that they want a baby, they are entitled to one and they can buy one, and it's all about them, not the woman facing all the risks, is what really makes me sad.

In general terms, again, commercial^^ surrogacy is always a 'those who have' issue.

Poor people can't afford surrogacy.

Wealthy women don't become commercial surrogates.

In commercial surrogacy, it's 'wealthy people want babies, wealthy people buy babies'.

100% this. It’s so entitled and completely wipes away the experience of the woman actually having to go through the invasive procedures because they were the highest bidders.

Altruistic surrogacy is extremely rare for obvious reasons - pregnancy is hard and dangerous.

People who say they’d happily do it for free are liars and never put their money where their mouth is.

OP posts:
Original poster
HermioneKipper · 26/04/2023 08:34

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 26/04/2023 06:36

But WHY is it different? You can't just say its different and have no logical explanation. We are all vessels to birth children. But you are acting as if these women are no more than vessels. They have their own families and people who love them, they have their own reasons for doing this, they have career aspirations and favourite foods. YOU are treating these women like they are nothing more than an object. You are talking about them as if they shouldn't have any control over their body. You were allowed to take the risk, possibly die, but what, so long as its for your own baby? That doesn't make any bloody sense.

Your parents or siblings or husband wouldn't have cared whether the baby was yours or not, either way they would have been heartbroken at you dying. You were allowed to take that risk, your body be used as a vessel, but its OK your husband put your life at risk because you consented right? These women consent too, they just don't take the baby home. Which is its own argument, but stop talking about these women as if they are objects with no minds of their own.

Show quote history

Why is it different to have your own child or be paid to be pregnant and give birth, then give the child to someone else?

Jesus the overwhelming stupidity on this thread is too much for me!

OP posts:
sabrinatheteenagewhich · 26/04/2023 08:35

I have seen these 2 talking about wanting a child, didnt no they were expecting twins. Don't no about the whole surrogate thing. I guess if they are able to pay and the women is fine with it don't see an issue. If anyone can tell me the issues with surrogate I would be happy to hear them as I've never looked in to it.

My issue would be these people exploiting their babies when they are born. 1st photo shoot, 1st birthday, 1st anything else and then all the posts on social media and using there children to make money. The poor kids will have a camera In their faces from day one and every move they make will be everywhere.

Marchintospring · 26/04/2023 08:35

toomuchlaundry · 26/04/2023 08:12

I’m adopted. I was adopted at the time it was all about the adoptive parents, no real thought about the birth parents or the child.

Now adoption is all about what is best for the child, and it is recognised that they have rights to trace their birth parents and to have knowledge about their adoption, and that there can be serious issues for a child knowing they are adopted.

Surrogacy and sperm donor seems to be going backwards as again it seems to be all about the parents who end up with a child, with no thought about the impact on the child.

I agree with this.
Child first. We know it’s not good practice to separate mum and baby and that should top trump any adult “rights”.

Original poster
HermioneKipper · 26/04/2023 08:35

CantFindTheBeat · 26/04/2023 08:12

I really found Tom Daley's interview having thejr babies so distasteful.

He described having babies being hard for him, versus heterosexual couples just needing to have 'a bottle of wine and a good time'.

The total disregard for the myriad of fertility issues and heartbreak so many people face was enormous.

The sheer entitlement was off the scale with Daley.

Particularly as he says trans women are women and should be competing in women’s sport!

Funny how he knew what a woman is when the time came to rent a womb!

OP posts:
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