Page 9 | To buy my white daughter a brown doll - thats OK right?

Red0 · 25/04/2023 21:37

Our white DC had a black doll as that’s just the one they chose, which was obviously fine and I didn’t question it. However when we went out with it we did get the occasional raised eyebrow or snarky comment (always from white folk)

Red0 · 25/04/2023 21:45

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 21:06

@Capaldifan94 -just a heads up. Your dd does see colour, and so she should.

Actually that’s not necessarily the case.
Mine never did when she was very young, like 5 and under. She would say the girl with the curly hair or actually the most random stuff she would notice, and still not mention skin colour. I know why it is important that they see colour and now she’s older she does, but when she was younger I really don’t believe she did. And we don’t even live in a particularly diverse town, as in out of 20 in her school nursery, there was only one POC and still she didn’t even describe this person by their skin colour.

BMW6 · 25/04/2023 21:56

I'm 65. When I was 4 or 5 (so around 1963/4) I was given a black dolly on my birthday.

Not a baby nor a Barbie type. Red dress with white polka dots, gold earrings, short hair in big styled curls. I thought she was utterly beautiful. Till I read this it never occurred to me that it was odd, but I don't recall any other black dolls at that time.

Can't ask Mum why she got it for me (has died) but knowing Mum I think she just really liked how pretty she was.

NameChangeNumber359 · 25/04/2023 21:57

FridayNeverHesitate · 25/04/2023 17:16

@NameChangeNumber359

Me too! She was called Mandy and I absolutely loved her.
I wonder if I had the same doll as you? I loved mine too! She was called Amanda Jane (but might be shortened to Mandy), very similar to this one:

Oh, the memories! My Mandy had shorter hair and a bit less like a 'baby' doll. She had a soft vinyl face but a hard plastic body and limbs. I've had a look online but I can't see one that's quite like her (it was nigh on 50 years ago though!)

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:01

Wenfy · 25/04/2023 16:56

White people buying black dolls is often why they’re more expensive and in shorter supply for black children. But that’s not your problem. You should definitely buy one.

What nonsense...

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:03

AliceMay55 · 25/04/2023 17:03

yeah, brown people all had white dolls growing up, they turned out ok.

Are they though? Even among brown and black people, white can be seen as the default.

Holly03 · 25/04/2023 22:05

I’ve just looked at buying my daughter elena of Avalor and she’s obsessed with moana. I don’t think it really matters what the colour the doll is

violetskypurple · 25/04/2023 22:08

My DD is white and has a black baby doll, it's the one she picked in the shop and I didn't think twice about it but when we next saw FIL and DD was playing with it, he was totally baffled as to why I'd bought her it. He really thought it was bizarre that I'd got her it.

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:08

FancyFanny · 25/04/2023 17:32

YANBU I'm not sure if you should refer to it as 'brown' though.

Why not? That's the colour of the skin. Unless you see brown as negative

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:09

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I agree

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:11

DysmalRadius · 25/04/2023 18:04

I'm not really understanding the ire over the OP asking. When we know better, we do better, and if something has given us pause and made us question ourselves, then surely asking for others' perspectives is admirable?

I agree. Everyone on mumsnet is an expert on race and expect everyone else to be.

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:15

1415isgreat · 25/04/2023 18:39

I am brown and had a white doll when I was younger. Hope nobody found it offensive.

As if this isn't the norm compared to the opposite. You're being deliberately obtuse, aren't you?

Original poster

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 22:16

User12345654321 · 25/04/2023 22:11

I agree. Everyone on mumsnet is an expert on race and expect everyone else to be.

Show quote history

Indeed!

I'm always open to learning and listening. The voices of POC are important. If I say the wrong thing, definitely let me know, I hate the thought of being offensive.

It's a bit crap to have people making digs toward somebody who, actually, does care and just wants to get it right.

OP posts:

DixonD · 25/04/2023 22:17

Mortimercat · 25/04/2023 16:43

Why are you even asking? 🙄

Because everything seems to be offensive or racist these days.

Loraloralaughs · 26/04/2023 08:35

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Original poster

Capaldifan94 · 26/04/2023 09:14

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Noted 🙂

My thought process RE the doll was along the lines of..

Might it be seen as performative (as the v honest PP upthread admitted to being when she bought a black doll)

Or me attention seeking / trying to make a point IE look at me aren't I inclusive etc thus cause offence.

When really, it was a simple as DD liking and wanting the doll.

OP posts:

blubberball · 26/04/2023 09:52

I've bought my nieces Moana dolls, and dolls that are white like them. It's fine.

Nordicrain · 26/04/2023 09:58

Wenfy · 25/04/2023 16:56

White people buying black dolls is often why they’re more expensive and in shorter supply for black children. But that’s not your problem. You should definitely buy one.

This is rubbish. If more white people bought them there would be more demand and more would be produced.

OP, my white DD had a black baby doll. I think it's entirely fine, and helps introduce and normalise diversity.

dailytalk · 26/04/2023 13:37

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Cornrows?

You mean Dutch braids?

Nordicrain · 26/04/2023 13:42

Red0 · 25/04/2023 21:45

Actually that’s not necessarily the case.
Mine never did when she was very young, like 5 and under. She would say the girl with the curly hair or actually the most random stuff she would notice, and still not mention skin colour. I know why it is important that they see colour and now she’s older she does, but when she was younger I really don’t believe she did. And we don’t even live in a particularly diverse town, as in out of 20 in her school nursery, there was only one POC and still she didn’t even describe this person by their skin colour.

Show quote history

This was the same with DD. My (step) sisters and their kids are black and till she was about 6 she just didn't even think about or acknowlege the difference in skin colour. It was genuinely like she didn't see it. It was only when she was in Y1 at school and they made a big thing out of "brown" people living in Africa that she began talking about.

anyway it's still important to educate children in the struggles that people of colour face. The Little People Big Dreams book on Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King were quite good places to start.

loislovesstewie · 26/04/2023 14:16

I still have my Topsy doll. She walks and says Mamma. They were very popular in the 50s /60s.My granny bought her for me, maybe because she had mixed race great grandchildren. I don't really know. But Topsy has been with me for 60 years now.

Loraloralaughs · 26/04/2023 16:22

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Loraloralaughs · 26/04/2023 16:23

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fUNNYfACE36 · 26/04/2023 23:54

It's all a bit tryhard though isn't it?

Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 00:32

Yes I would have no issue with it but my daughter would never touch a brown doll. She wouldn't even try chocolate because she says it's "dirty". She eats the ice cream bit of the cornetto then hands me the cone with the "dirty" bit and asks me to eat it. Haha