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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy my white daughter a brown doll - thats OK right?

261 replies

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 16:41

Just that really..

OP posts:
Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 15:02

Nachobowls · 27/04/2023 11:35

But you find it funny?

I mean what can you do but laugh when it's out of your hands....

Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 15:05

Hidijihidoho · 27/04/2023 12:02

When i was a childminder i was told that i needed to supply toys from diverse cultures / race it was not seen as cultural appropriation.

I assure you I do do this. We even have a Barbie in a wheelchair, but my daughter has no interest in certain toys and foods no matter how exciting I try to make them. She loses interest the moment I walk off and I just don't know why. She also doesn't seem to like men and bullies them terribly.

CarrotCake01 · 27/04/2023 15:09

I'm not sure why the thought of it made you feel uncomfortable enough to ask but no, I don't think that's inappropriate at all.

My white daughter has a lot of dolls with varied skin colours. She sometimes will colour pictures of princesses or fairies etc in with brown pens, sometimes peachy or tan. It's fine!

Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 15:09

She has Moana dolls, a Mulan dolls and a JoJo and Gran Doll. She won't touch them. If you have any advice I will give it a try. I have tried roleplaying and doing imaginative play with them. She is interested during the session but won't touch them after and sometimes grabs them off me chucks them to one side then asks me to do whatever I'm doing with the Peppa plushie instead. :'(

Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 15:09

A Mulan doll*

User12345654321 · 28/04/2023 13:18

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 21:28

I think it's obvious what I meant.

To DD, who has grown up in a diverse environment, she sees everybody as equal.

It's weird how some people fail to see nuance in things. They don't take anything literally until it comes to a time when you really shouldn't, then they insist on taking a statement literally. It's clear what you mean, OP, and what most people mean when they say that - if not expressly, atleast in context.

Navalcaptain · 28/04/2023 13:19

Why are you even asking? Just want a reaction I guess

User12345654321 · 28/04/2023 13:24

fUNNYfACE36 · 26/04/2023 23:54

It's all a bit tryhard though isn't it?

No it isn't. Statements like this put people off doing something as normal as what OP has done because they're shamed for doing it.

What exactly is the opposite or what should she do instead to not be seen a "try hard" or "right on" - not buy a doll of any other colour or race? In other words, maintain the status quo? Or perhaps not come on mumsnet to ask a question, like other posters do? Or is it only "try hard" because it has to do with race or Black people?

User12345654321 · 28/04/2023 13:27

Emotionalstorm · 27/04/2023 00:32

Yes I would have no issue with it but my daughter would never touch a brown doll. She wouldn't even try chocolate because she says it's "dirty". She eats the ice cream bit of the cornetto then hands me the cone with the "dirty" bit and asks me to eat it. Haha

I wouldn't tell you how to change that narrative with your daughter when it comes to skin colour, it's up to you but this post isn't useful in anyway.

It's extremely insensitive too and this is putting it mildly. Perhaps keep this thought between you and your daughter alone, not spread it into the world. Your daughter may not understand yet but you should know better.

Sarahtm35 · 20/05/2023 16:17

Why on earth wouldn’t it be? As for the ‘cultural appropriation’ Comment some have made..well that’s just silly. If anything it’s a compliment to other cultures to want dolls, hairstyles, clothes etc that are of other cultures.

IWasOlderThen · 22/05/2023 17:57

Sarahtm35 · 20/05/2023 16:17

Why on earth wouldn’t it be? As for the ‘cultural appropriation’ Comment some have made..well that’s just silly. If anything it’s a compliment to other cultures to want dolls, hairstyles, clothes etc that are of other cultures.

I agree. Get the dolls your child wants. Wear your hair how you want.

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