Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my white daughter a brown doll - thats OK right?

261 replies

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 16:41

Just that really..

OP posts:
dailytalk · 25/04/2023 19:51

DojaPhat · 25/04/2023 19:45

One of the things about race/racism that fascinates me the most is that white people will work themselves up into a frenzy over something like this but think absolutely nothing of the racism Black people encounter on an almost daily basis Grin

Because personally they aren't the ones doing the racism and everything white people do is racist.

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 19:51

DojaPhat · 25/04/2023 19:45

One of the things about race/racism that fascinates me the most is that white people will work themselves up into a frenzy over something like this but think absolutely nothing of the racism Black people encounter on an almost daily basis Grin

Well that's not the case in our household. I'm always the first to call out racism if I see it. I care very much.

OP posts:
Male101 · 25/04/2023 19:55

BellePeppa · 25/04/2023 19:11

God this type of thinking makes me 😡 I have a couple of Japanese dolls am I culturally appropriating or culturally appreciating?

Show quote history

If your white it's always appropriation never appreciation...

Lol its actually neither ,its just a doll you liked and bought or had been bought for you

Naddd · 25/04/2023 19:55

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 25/04/2023 16:45

We did as she picked it out in the store but then I gave it away. Didn't want to be accused of cultural appropriation.

Ur joking i hope.

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 25/04/2023 19:58

Yep I had one when I was 6. I am now 47 but remember how much I loved her and how jealous my friend was of how gorgeous her skin was. I am also very pale skinned in fact I am almost translucent.

DojaPhat · 25/04/2023 19:58

@dailytalk If you genuinely think "everything white people do is racist" then you're honestly so far through the looking glass it's beyond reason.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/04/2023 19:58

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 19:01

The receipt for those implying i'm a troll.

You could have bought the doll and decided to shit stir about it 🤷🏽‍♀️ or pontificate.

LaMaG · 25/04/2023 19:59

In the early 80s in Rep of Ireland my mum went to NYC and brought me back a black skinned doll. My friends and I thought it was the coolest thing ever as we had never seen a black doll or a black skinned person. I named it after my American (irish) cousin to the amusement of the adults but in my head it was my American doll, like my cousin. Its interesting to analyse now as I saw the nationality before the ethnicity without even knowing about race.

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 20:00

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/04/2023 19:58

You could have bought the doll and decided to shit stir about it 🤷🏽‍♀️ or pontificate.

Show quote history

Yes that's exactly what I had in mind when spending £60 on a toy.

OP posts:
SimonsCow · 25/04/2023 20:02

My daughter has a few dolls of different races and noticeably prefers the white ones. She’s only 1 but I feel a little unqualified on how to approach race with her in the future as we live in such a white dominated area.

GregoryFluff · 25/04/2023 20:08

DD got bought a pack of beautiful fairy dolls for Christmas, there were 3 in it, 1 black, 2 white

I also got her a pack of Kindi kids minis to go with her fairground and that had 1 black, 1 white and 1 mixed race doll, so if anything, I think diversity is rightly being championed more now than when I was little

She has a 'body positivity' barbie too that isn't stick thin

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 20:13

GregoryFluff · 25/04/2023 20:08

DD got bought a pack of beautiful fairy dolls for Christmas, there were 3 in it, 1 black, 2 white

I also got her a pack of Kindi kids minis to go with her fairground and that had 1 black, 1 white and 1 mixed race doll, so if anything, I think diversity is rightly being championed more now than when I was little

She has a 'body positivity' barbie too that isn't stick thin

I love that 🙂

OP posts:
Justalittlebitduckling · 25/04/2023 20:21

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 16:46

My v old fashioned DM suggested it might be seen as offensive. God only knows why. She hasn't elaborated.

It never occurred to me that it might be a problem. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be! :)

She’s probably confused with the racist caricature dolls from the 1960s.

Wifflywafflywoo · 25/04/2023 20:23

My DD is 11 months. For Christmas she received three dolls, one white, one mixed race and one black. She has books with gay parents, different cultures and different disabilities. We live in an area that is predominantly white so I'm trying to expose her to people from all different backgrounds etc so that she understands from the off that there are many types of people in the world. I don't feel that what I'm doing is wrong, her GP was over the moon when she dragged her dolly in and he saw it was black. She's always been drawn to black people, she beams when she sees her GP and black presenters on TV. Her white doll sits untouched.

Mummylovesmonkeys · 25/04/2023 20:34

NameChangeNumber359 · 25/04/2023 16:48

Me too! She was called Mandy and I absolutely loved her.

Show quote history

Mine was called Mandy too. I also had a boy doll, complete with bits, and an Asian baby doll And I am a 65 year old grandma.

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 20:45

Wifflywafflywoo · 25/04/2023 20:23

My DD is 11 months. For Christmas she received three dolls, one white, one mixed race and one black. She has books with gay parents, different cultures and different disabilities. We live in an area that is predominantly white so I'm trying to expose her to people from all different backgrounds etc so that she understands from the off that there are many types of people in the world. I don't feel that what I'm doing is wrong, her GP was over the moon when she dragged her dolly in and he saw it was black. She's always been drawn to black people, she beams when she sees her GP and black presenters on TV. Her white doll sits untouched.

So weird.

TerryMeetsJulie · 25/04/2023 20:46

SimonsCow · 25/04/2023 20:02

My daughter has a few dolls of different races and noticeably prefers the white ones. She’s only 1 but I feel a little unqualified on how to approach race with her in the future as we live in such a white dominated area.

@SimonsCow

"While many parents may be worried about speaking to younger children in an age-appropriate way, research shows that children can internalize racial bias between ages 2 and 4. It can help to describe racism in a way that your child will be able to understand. For example, you could talk about fairness, being kind, accepting others for who they are".
~NSPCC

Nice and gentle way in, for very young children, is this lovely picture book. A favourite in our nursery class!
'We Are All Neighbours', by Alexandra Penfold

(book read aloud here)

OrwellianTimes · 25/04/2023 20:49

Wenfy · 25/04/2023 16:56

White people buying black dolls is often why they’re more expensive and in shorter supply for black children. But that’s not your problem. You should definitely buy one.

No, doll manufacturers not making enough black & ethnically diverse dolls is the reason why they are in short supply.

Tandora · 25/04/2023 21:00

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 17:01

Its just a normal doll yes, the boy baby born doll.

DD has friends from all backgrounds and just doesn't see colour like that. We live in a really diverse city and are a mixed race family ourselves (I'm British, the children are British/Thai and my brother and his half siblings are British/Indian and Indian) so we all have varying skin tones. DD has black friends she's v close to at nursery who she'll be going up to primary with in September.

It was cultural appropriation i was worried about after DM made the comment.

DD has friends from all backgrounds and just doesn't see colour like that

I guarantee your DD sees colour.

pfftt · 25/04/2023 21:02

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 18:43

It's not a gollywog, is it?

I spat laughed at this

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 21:06

@Capaldifan94 -just a heads up. Your dd does see colour, and so she should.

DojaPhat · 25/04/2023 21:07

Wifflywafflywoo · 25/04/2023 20:23

My DD is 11 months. For Christmas she received three dolls, one white, one mixed race and one black. She has books with gay parents, different cultures and different disabilities. We live in an area that is predominantly white so I'm trying to expose her to people from all different backgrounds etc so that she understands from the off that there are many types of people in the world. I don't feel that what I'm doing is wrong, her GP was over the moon when she dragged her dolly in and he saw it was black. She's always been drawn to black people, she beams when she sees her GP and black presenters on TV. Her white doll sits untouched.

Why is your daughter "drawn" to Black people? Confused

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 21:28

Tandora · 25/04/2023 21:00

DD has friends from all backgrounds and just doesn't see colour like that

I guarantee your DD sees colour.

Show quote history

I think it's obvious what I meant.

To DD, who has grown up in a diverse environment, she sees everybody as equal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 21:32

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 21:06

@Capaldifan94 -just a heads up. Your dd does see colour, and so she should.

Was that the wrong thing to say?

What I mean is that she sees everybody as being the same regardless of their skin colour.

She is taught that whilst people have all different skin colours we're all the same inside.

Somebodies skin colour has never factored in to how she socialises with them or sees them.

OP posts: