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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my white daughter a brown doll - thats OK right?

261 replies

Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 16:41

Just that really..

OP posts:
Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 25/04/2023 18:31

DysmalRadius · 25/04/2023 18:04

I'm not really understanding the ire over the OP asking. When we know better, we do better, and if something has given us pause and made us question ourselves, then surely asking for others' perspectives is admirable?

Absolutely!
I think that there’s a lot of Pearl clutching but it’s not the op.

ShowUs · 25/04/2023 18:32

Yes it’s absolutely fine.

We need more non-white dolls and the more these are bought like any white doll without a second thought, the better.

For most people this will be a non brainer but I like that you double checked first because you wasn’t sure, as we all just need to be a bit more aware of other peoples feelings sometimes.

ShowUs · 25/04/2023 18:33

DysmalRadius · 25/04/2023 18:04

I'm not really understanding the ire over the OP asking. When we know better, we do better, and if something has given us pause and made us question ourselves, then surely asking for others' perspectives is admirable?

Absolutely!

Great post!

doadeer · 25/04/2023 18:34

Of course it is. Should totally normalise this. Books, toys etc with darker skin are for any child.

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 18:37

Ortiguilla · 25/04/2023 17:28

So you live in a mixed-race family and city, full of people from all parts of the world, but you defer to your 'very old-fashioned' mother for what is and is not acceptable in terms of cultural politics?

Sounds legit.

Show quote history

Would you like to see the doll and the receipt against a backdrop of my daughters skin? Don't be so silly. I wouldn't make it up.

OP posts:
JingleBellez · 25/04/2023 18:37

My daughter has a black baby born. And?

1415isgreat · 25/04/2023 18:39

I am brown and had a white doll when I was younger. Hope nobody found it offensive.

kfiend · 25/04/2023 18:41

HighlandDays · 25/04/2023 16:48

My child has a teddy bear and looks nothing like him.

This

Quveas · 25/04/2023 18:42

I'm 65 years old. I had such dolls as a child. I'm a lefties who fights for equality. It obviously had a bad influence on me?!

BCBird · 25/04/2023 18:43

Black woman here . I don't think it is in the slightest but offensive. I was never bothered wuth dolls. I don't remember black dolls being available when I was younger. These things matter. I'm in my 50s.

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 18:43

It's not a gollywog, is it?

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 18:44

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 18:43

It's not a gollywog, is it?

Of course not, its a baby born.

OP posts:
Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 18:45

Thanks those of you defending my motivation to ask. Wanting clarification can only ever be a positive thing surely?

OP posts:
Lilbunnyfufu · 25/04/2023 18:46

Merryoldgoat · 25/04/2023 17:30

I’m worried now as I gave my child a farm playset and we aren’t farmers.

Pmsl

FFF3 · 25/04/2023 18:46

I don’t think people understand the meaning of cultural appropriation… it’s fine OP.

Wiccan · 25/04/2023 18:47

I had a black doll I loved her so much her name was Shirley as I was so obsessed with Shirley Bassey my mum would play her songs constantly.
One day I came home from school and my mum had made Shirley the most gorgeous glittery long halter neck gown and matching shoes , I'm welling up just thinking about it .

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 18:50

Also to clarify about my DM, no she definitely is not racist and is quite the opposite hence being concerned that it might cause offence.

OP posts:
Doris86 · 25/04/2023 18:53

No you should only let her have a white doll, and only have white friends …….

Of course it’s ok!

Lemoncakefortea · 25/04/2023 18:56

Such a ridiculous question 🤦🏼‍♀️

Moosethroat · 25/04/2023 18:57

Hi OP, non black child having a black doll is not cultural appropriation and is perfectly fine, it is inclusivity and representation. Black dolls are not made exclusively for black people - there is no culture to appropriate.

To the PP who said white people buying black dolls pushes the prices up, incorrect. Prices are higher because demand is lower.

I speak as a black woman btw

Moneymismatch · 25/04/2023 19:00

Could your DM be thinking of golliwogs? She may remember the outrage about those and worry that black doll = racist

Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 19:01

The receipt for those implying i'm a troll.

To buy my white daughter a brown doll - thats OK right?
OP posts:
Original poster
Capaldifan94 · 25/04/2023 19:03

Moneymismatch · 25/04/2023 19:00

Could your DM be thinking of golliwogs? She may remember the outrage about those and worry that black doll = racist

Its possible definitely. I'll be seeing her tomorrow so I'll ask her to explain what she was worried about and why.

OP posts:
QOD · 25/04/2023 19:05

i bought my dd a black doll back in the early 2000's - oh it's the most gorgeous doll - she just saw it in a shop window in Portugal and wanted it
I think it;s still in the loft!
My inlaws and 1 of my neighbours commented asking why i had bought her a black doll...
Ridonk

Merryoldgoat · 25/04/2023 19:06

@Capaldifan94

I was being facetious earlier OP because I’m a bit of a cunt but I do understand why you are asking.