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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think 11 is not too young to travel on a train alone?

627 replies

Tellmeifimwrong · 25/04/2023 13:20

Please settle a debate! Happy to hear all opinions.

Is 11 years old, starting y7 in Sept, too young to take a one hour train journey, without parents but with a slightly younger child? Put on at one end by an adult and met at the other end by an adult, with a phone and data, and train staff informed? No behavioural problems or SEN.

OP posts:
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FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 26/04/2023 07:05

Blimey.
Put kids in train one end. They sit in seat. Train gets to other end. They get up and leave to be met.
I would be happy with that. At 11/12 my dds were getting the train to the next city to goshopping.

Hocuspocusnonsense · 26/04/2023 07:06

No way! Doesn’t matter whether an adult puts them on the train and meets them the other end, it’s what happens during that one hour train journey when they don’t have an adult with them.

I narrowly missed being assaulted in some way when I was 14 and on a train by myself. I was surrounded by 4 lads that I would say were late teens, I don’t know what would have happened had someone not walked in to the carriage. It was empty apart from me!

Onviously it’s your choice but no I wouldn’t allow my daughters to take a one hour train journey unaccompanied at 11.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 26/04/2023 07:08

There is safety in numbers. I see a lot of children arrive by train to attend the local private and faith schools.

They normally hang together with other children from the same school organically and watch for each other, pretty much like when they get in the bus for a shorter distance. Some are definitely younger than 10.

Wishawisha · 26/04/2023 07:12

I expect my DC will be getting the train themselves once they’re 11 to go to senior school.

I find the premise of the question a bit odd though - is the 11 year old ok to do this? - surely the question should be about the 10 year old?! But in any case, I think 11 is pretty usual. I know lots of 11 year olds commuting by train for school.

Itsanotherhreatday · 26/04/2023 07:14

https://www.btp.police.uk/cp/crime-prevention/btp/railway-crime/young-people-travelling-alone/

Looking at different train companies websites some don’t allow under 12’s and one will call the police. Check the trains websites.

Jonei · 26/04/2023 07:15

Depends on the child. And on the child they are traveling with.

Jonei · 26/04/2023 07:17

Itsanotherhreatday · 26/04/2023 07:14

https://www.btp.police.uk/cp/crime-prevention/btp/railway-crime/young-people-travelling-alone/

Looking at different train companies websites some don’t allow under 12’s and one will call the police. Check the trains websites.

Where does it say under 12s can't travel alone on your link?

MopsySmithe · 26/04/2023 07:27

Greenfree · 25/04/2023 13:32

Outside of whether you think it would be ok, I would check the rail networks guidance too as I seem to remember children under 12 can't travel without someone who is 16 or over.

I doubt that is the case as many 11 year olds travel to school by train around here, including my own.

ShimmeringShirts · 26/04/2023 07:28

Not sure if anyone’s mentioned yet but there’s age restrictions on children travelling. National rail Scotland states they must be 12 at a minimum, you’d need to check your rail network but it’s likely they’d be considered too young from the railways side of things.

MopsySmithe · 26/04/2023 07:29

I think the 11 and 10 year old would be fine in this situation. The 10 year old would be responsible for themself at this age. They are being out on the train and collected off the train and would have contact with a parent throughout the journey...

DontMakeMeShushYou · 26/04/2023 07:33

If both sets of parents are happy that their children can behave in a sensible manner whilst together, and both children are happy with the arrangement, then I can't see a problem.

I would make it clear to the 10 year old and their parents that the 11 year old is not responsible for their behaviour or safety though. They are just travelling together to keep each other company. If the 10 year old wants to behave like a dick, they're on their own.

Beautiful3 · 26/04/2023 07:37

These are things that only you would know. We don't know how confident/aware/independent your child is. Also whether they look older for their age or young, plays a factor. Have they been on that exact train route before and feel familiar with the journey?

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:38

@Tellmeifimwrong Your title is misleading.

I would have said a child of 11 was old enough to travel alone on a train, with supervision by train staff.

I don't think they should travel with another child and be made to feel responsible for them. But it depends on the maturity of each child. I'd have been allowed to travel at 11 with a 10 year old friend, on a short trip.

But having said that, it depends on the length of the journey.

There is a big difference between a 1 hour trip and a 4 hour trip.

Peterpiperpickedapeckof · 26/04/2023 07:39

Agree it’s fine for an 11 year old. Mine did this recently - travel on a train for an hour independently.

not to be responsible for a younger child though. Nope.

YDBear · 26/04/2023 07:40

Nachobowls · 25/04/2023 13:27

I don’t think 11 on its own it’s too young but depends on the other child’s age people can be weird I posted about my 11 year old traveling to school alone on the bus and was told it was too young and other mums were telling me they still take their 14 year olds to school 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's just a modern BS kind of thing, the usual over-protective nannying. I was taking the bus on my own three miles to school at the age of 4. All that happened was that I developed a lifelong love of bus travel.

Thatmum102 · 26/04/2023 07:41

Not a chance. I was 15 on my way home from school.... Had a group of 10 boys around me staying the most awful things they were going to do to me! All watched by a carriage full of people who looked the other way. It's not your children it's other people.

organisedmother · 26/04/2023 07:42

This thread is shocking

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:42

I think a 1 hour trip is fine.

They are on a train. At most, they might need the loo so they need to know how to access that.

As long as they know all the usual safety rules like not going anywhere with a stranger, accepting lifts from anyone (if the pick up parent wasn't there on time) and what to do if one of them felt unwell, it should be safe enough.

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:43

organisedmother · 26/04/2023 07:42

This thread is shocking

How?

MagpieSong · 26/04/2023 07:44

xILikeJamx · 25/04/2023 13:22

An 11 year old should not be responsible for a younger child on a train

I’d agree with this. I think 11yo is absolutely fine to get a train alone, but I wouldn’t want them worrying over another child.

WeBuiltThisCity · 26/04/2023 07:45

My 11 year old certainly was on buses locally with his nearly 11 yr old friend, not collected directly from stops and navigating East London.
At just 12 he’s fine with multiple tube/ overground stops and will cross the city zone 5 to zone 5 alone through major interchanges. Obviously being underground a mix of no contact periods and it gets busy. He’s got his head screwed on and is happy, it gives him freedom.
I personally prefer when they are out in pairs because it gives two phones to contact when they inevitably let the battery run flat or forget it’s on silent.
I see no issue with your plan and would say it’s very common locally. Every 11 yr old is busing around on their zip cards to school and many are getting trains to school without adults there.

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:45

@MagpieSong But it's only for an hour. Sitting in a seat on a train. What harm is likely to come to a child in such a short journey? It would be different if it were a 3 hour trip which my children were taking alone in their early teens.

GP75 · 26/04/2023 07:51

Possibly if just the 11 year old and if the stations were small with one exit/entrance but I do think it's too young and I'd be unlikely to let my kids do it. Also being responsible for a younger child would be a definite no.

dottiedodah · 26/04/2023 07:51

Its not fair on the child to have a younger sibling to look after .People are saying "its fine,I was walking to School alone at 5 or whatever. Years ago it was a bit different I think .(Although DM worked ,she took me to School first) An 11 year old yes alone .Not with a sibling!

poppysockies · 26/04/2023 07:51

Not sure if anyone’s mentioned yet but there’s age restrictions on children travelling. National rail Scotland states they must be 12 at a minimum, you’d need to check your rail network but it’s likely they’d be considered too young from the railways side of things.

That's interesting, I never knew that. I was living in a European capital city as a child, and my older brother and I took the train to school alone aged 8 and 6, with a decent walk to/from the station at either end. But that was the 70s/early 80's.

I'd have trusted two of three my dc to travel alone/with a similar-aged friend at 11, the other one would not have been mature/confident enough at that age. Depends on the child