To think 11 is not too young to travel on a train alone?

[Tellmeifimwrong]

Please settle a debate! Happy to hear all opinions.

Is 11 years old, starting y7 in Sept, too young to take a one hour train journey, without parents but with a slightly younger child? Put on at one end by an adult and met at the other end by an adult, with a phone and data, and train staff informed? No behavioural problems or SEN.

Once?
Once a week?
Once a day?

At midnight? Peak hours? Weekends?

What route?

at 9pm between two rival football towns on a tuesday night is going to be a different journey than midday with zero stops inbetween for example.

Nobody can tell you if they are likely to be safe, it isn't them that are the issue - it is the people they could encounter on the journey.

What are the parents doing that is more important than making sure their two kids are safe?

Year 7s travelling to school in their own = fine. Being responsible for a year 6 at the same time = not fine.

Depends on the journey. A commute in London would be fairly common but the distances wouldn’t be that far and there are lots of people around if something goes wrong. An intercity or express train could cover 90 miles in that time. What would you do if the service was terminated at some random station?

Train to/from school including independent walk (with rest of cohort) fine from Y7 assuming standard school commute. I'm assuming a trip between estranged parents or parents/grandparents here.

Do you think that an 11 year old is safer alone than with a younger child? Other child only one year younger.

No.

11 year old on their own is fine.

Each child needs to be old enough to be responsible for themselves in case something happens to separate them.

I've been on a commuter train recently when a 10 year old disappeared. She was traveling with her mother and 4 other children. Our train was held up for 15 minutes while the train was searched. It was concluded that she got off at an earlier stop.

If the 10 year old could do it alone, then I think the 11 year old is probably fine (but should not be “responsible” for the 10 year old, they both need to be mature enough to look after themselves).

Outside of whether you think it would be ok, I would check the rail networks guidance too as I seem to remember children under 12 can't travel without someone who is 16 or over.

Then how to kids get to school on the train?

Lots get train to school yr7.
I wouldn’t want him responsible for a younger child.
If he’s a mature 11 then go for it but you need to run through what ifs.
First time my child got train alone from Manchester (about an hour journey) think she was 13 there was a man on saying he had a bomb. Another passenger evacuated passengers from carriage. They stopped train in siding and all passengers had to climb down onto tracks and hide in bushes. She called me to collect her in a random town. When I turned up I couldn’t get near there was a full police cordon and army Bomb disposal. Bloke was then sectioned/ambulance came. Locals were kicking off as they couldn’t get through to bookies/pub and police were dealing with that. She was fine and had hidden with some older ladies and taken it all in but honestly couldn’t have predicted that!

If children look too young to be on their own someone will notify the BTP.

I’d be very mindful re what train eg avoid with drunk stag and hens on and avoid football fans.

https://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/19506455.darwen-station-bomb-scare-man-made-comments-9-11-chopping-people/
We laugh about it now but I can see some children would have been very upset. My dc didn’t hear the threats as she had her headphones in!

It depends on the child, it depends on the time and who else is likely to be on the train etc.

11 and mature 10 ok. Can you do the journey with them first? How independent are they generally?

I think the 11 year old alone probably fine (depending on the child) but absolutely not with a 10 year old too. As a one off measure in an emergency I could just about be persuaded but as a regular thing no way. What happens if the train is delayed and they disagree about what to do, or if they have a row and the 11 year old starts bossing the 10 year old, or if they egg each other on and start winding up other passengers. And don’t say that they’re both really mature, it’s always parents like that whose kids are an utter nightmare once they’re out of earshot. And I am very far from being a helicopter parent.

You’re not that poster who took a group of kids to the Lake District and then abandoned them to deal with some sort of family issue are you? That was her suggestion too (went down v badly with the parents who threatened to report her to the police for neglect!).

If this is something that might be regular, eg two children travelling between separated parents households, then the parents should take turns travelling with the children to start with, for quite a few journeys (several months?) until it becomes very very familiar and kids get very used to it, and various “things that might go wrong” have cropped up and been dealt with.

@Dixiechickonhols that is horrifying!
Good point about train being terminated early.

How many 11 you will be fine.

Reaponsible for another child a bit unfair

Another thing to consider is how big the station they're travelling to is. We live in Kent, off what I thought was one of the major stops, but I just found out that when trains from London are running behind schedule, our station is skipped. Anyone who wants that station has to then get off at the next station and take a train in the opposite direction. Heard this from a mum whose 12yo son had no idea what to do when that happened on the way home from school and had to call her to come get him.

It my wildest imagination I’d never thought of that - my chats were keep your phone safe etc. She was absolutely fine.
Another scenario I had on a train last week was announcement that there was a fault on door and everyone had to leave that carriage. I also took a group of girls on a train to an activity and one 12 yr old very upset by a drunk man loudly shouting and banging on the window.
I’d just go over what to do if things happen.

Ok next question as it doesn't seem clear cut from answers on here. Is this unthinkable and neglectful parenting, or is it just something that you personally wouldn't choose to do but see it as vaguely acceptable?

How young is the younger child and what is the dynamic between them? I might be okay with this as long as I also trusted the younger child to be on their own (9 or 10 and responsible for their age). That way older child isn't really looking after them just more strength in numbers. And only if they get along and wouldn't be silly or loud or fight.

11 year old by themselves yes. With a younger child no

Oh I just saw your update that younger child is 10. So yes, I would do this assuming they are both reasonably responsible kids and get along well and have the necessary age appropriate independence skills. You can scaffold this. You go with them the first few times, then you get on the same train but sit rows away and let them look after themselves the next few times, then you touch base to see how they feel. You run through various safety and emergency scenarios and when they are both comfortable they go on their own.

I travelled alone on a train to school & back at 11.
What I didn't realise was that I was being stalked while waiting at the very quiet small train station, because being 11 I didn't notice some 'old' bloke following me.

Luckily other people older than me did notice & contacted my school as they were concerned.
School contacted my parents & suddenly older boys from the local boys school started using the station I used, along with a school master (although I didn't know it was to keep me safe until after I stopped using the train.)

I ended up in boarding school instead of being a day girl just so I didn't have to make that journey any more.

So, I thought I was fine travelling by myself, but actually I probably wouldn't have been if other people I didn't even know hadn't cared enough about a random child to look out for me.