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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Incontinence pads -AIBU not to give in yet?

114 replies

ghi · 25/04/2023 08:22

When do you give in?

Small leakages, several times a week. There is no sensation of full bladder, or anything at all, just the sensation of a leakage happening. It has not shown through my clothes, ever, it is very small. But is it just a matter of time until I wet myself noticeably in public?

It is affecting my confidence.

AIBU to NOT start using incontinence pads? It feels like giving in, and admitting the problem is going to get worse. Or should I give in and admit the problem is going to get worse? I want to fight it, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to fight - I can't tighten muscles to prevent it, it seems like my muscles just go paralysed for those few moments.

I am glad to hear of any other experiences and opinions.

YABU - You need the pads you silly woman, just go and get some
YANBU - No! Hold off! Don't give in!

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 25/04/2023 08:26

I feel for you but sticking your head in the sand and pretending it’s not happening is not going to stop it!

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 25/04/2023 08:27

Get some period pants and see your gp or even better a pelvic physiotherapist. How old are you?

Heath2330 · 25/04/2023 08:28

No experience but I am a medical professional my advice get the pads they will make you feel more secure comfortable when out incase of leakage however book appt with your go for referral to your local in continence team there are lots of things that can be done explored to improve/fix incontinence problems most people are just to embarrassed to talk about it but there is help and treatments out there good luck x

Jumpersaurus · 25/04/2023 08:28

I think wear the pads and make your life more comfortable.

Have you been to a women's physio for a pelvic check to see what can be done to fix it?

Morasssassafras · 25/04/2023 08:28

You could use tena liners (other brands are probably available) which are a liner rather than a pad but will work for the small amounts you describe.

VanGoghsDog · 25/04/2023 08:29

If it's only a tiny bit I'd just use mini panty liners at this stage, they're much cheaper.

But do see the GP, this normalizing of female incontinence gets on my nerves, we don't have to suffer this you know.

FotheringtonThomasMinor · 25/04/2023 08:30

How old are you? Have you seen your gp? Lots of options available other than pads- physio, hrt (if appropriate) can make a big difference.

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:31

Ok, thank you for your advice - the consensus seems to be buy some pads, but also get medical help. I am surprised that people think anything can be done, I sort of thought maybe it was just inevitable really. I am just over 60

OP posts:
OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 08:31

Echoing all of the above

It's treatable and can be cured with exercise or even surgery worst case.

1 Start pelvic floor exercises and see Gussie Grips (real name is Elaine Miller) (online) Youtube etc as she is a women's physio and does brilliant advice talks.

2 Sign up for NHS Squeezy app to remind you to do them

3 See GP or arrange a private appt with a women's physio.

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:31

HRT is not possible for medical reasons

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 25/04/2023 08:32

Prioritise medical treatment - most causes of incontinence can be fixed with physiotherapy! It's not just a normal thing that all women have to go through.

Use something to contain smell or leaks as a temporary measure - it's not nice if it's affecting you doing things, and the smell of urine can be difficult to wash out of clothing.

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:32

I am going to look up Gussie Grips! Thank you

OP posts:
OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 08:32

Old ladies in their 80s can stop leaking if they do the exercises (properly.)
Google Gussie Grips.

You might also benefit from vaginal estrogen cream that can help plump up the tissues and stop leaking (from GP.) Ask about it.

OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 08:33

ghi · 25/04/2023 08:31

HRT is not possible for medical reasons

It is possible.

Vaginal estrogen like Ovestin and Vagifem can be used even by women who have had breast cancer.

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:34

Thank you so much for all your posts. You are so kind. I haven't been able to bring myself to mention this to anyone in real life.

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 25/04/2023 08:34

I gave in and got some when I developed a problem during pregnancy when I had a cold - I'd cough and a little would come out. I did my pelvic floor exercises 3 times a day and it improved so definitely worth trying those!

KimWexlersPonyTail · 25/04/2023 08:35

Sounds like you are not emptying your bladder completely. This can lead to infections. Once peed, stay on the loo, bend at the waist , swivel around then you can get a bit more out. Pant liners as pp mentioned shoukd be enough protection but you should see gp.

melj1213 · 25/04/2023 08:35

YABU to just ignore the problem rather than doing something about it.

In the short term just get some bladder leak pads - tena or always are stocked pretty much everywhere - to stop the immediate issue of the leaking potentially getting through clothing and then on the longer term look at the medical options to help like physio or a prescription from the doctor.

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:36

OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 08:33

It is possible.

Vaginal estrogen like Ovestin and Vagifem can be used even by women who have had breast cancer.

Show quote history

I am on estrogen suppressants. Maybe that is part of the reason.

OP posts:
OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 08:37

ghi · 25/04/2023 08:36

I am on estrogen suppressants. Maybe that is part of the reason.

Show quote history

Aromatase inhibs?

Have you had BC?

There may still be other treatments but ask to see a specialist who is treating you.

tealandteal · 25/04/2023 08:38

OP I am younger than you but had 2 large babies and had the same problem. I was always worried I smelt of wee. It was so hard to talk about even with my husband but I saw a women’s pelvic floor physio. It was the best money I ever spent! Now I can even go for a run!

Divorcedalongtime · 25/04/2023 08:38

I must recommend the Perifit. Looks like a small sex toy but just sits inside you and you play games on your mobile using your vaginal muscles so it’s a super fun and engaging way to do your kegals.
I bought one because I leaked and had to wee many times in the night and it stopped after a few days of using it, turns out I was using the wrong muscles.

Abra1t · 25/04/2023 08:39

Another vote for the Squeezy app.

theyoungishman · 25/04/2023 08:43

The Perifit pelvic floor trainer is a revolution and targets bladder issues as one of the programs. Life changer!!! Cannot recommend highly enough

https://au.perifit.co/products/kegel-exerciser-with-app

Original poster
ghi · 25/04/2023 08:45

So much kind advice, thank you all. I was worried and embarrassed even about posting here. I hope anyone else with the same problem reads this and gets all these suggestions too

xx

OP posts: