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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Incontinence pads -AIBU not to give in yet?

114 replies

ghi · 25/04/2023 08:22

When do you give in?

Small leakages, several times a week. There is no sensation of full bladder, or anything at all, just the sensation of a leakage happening. It has not shown through my clothes, ever, it is very small. But is it just a matter of time until I wet myself noticeably in public?

It is affecting my confidence.

AIBU to NOT start using incontinence pads? It feels like giving in, and admitting the problem is going to get worse. Or should I give in and admit the problem is going to get worse? I want to fight it, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to fight - I can't tighten muscles to prevent it, it seems like my muscles just go paralysed for those few moments.

I am glad to hear of any other experiences and opinions.

YABU - You need the pads you silly woman, just go and get some
YANBU - No! Hold off! Don't give in!

OP posts:
Xrays · 25/04/2023 16:40

I should add I’m already on full HRT and internal oestrogen.

elastamum · 25/04/2023 16:50

I used to suffer from leaking - I have a chronic cough which didn't help. Then I lost 10 kilos in weight due to having to change my diet awaiting gallbladder surgery. Leaks have gone! Still on the waiting list for surgery though...

2bazookas · 25/04/2023 17:07

Using incontinence pads will not change whatever's causing the problem so they certainly won't make it get any worse. You might as well use them and see if it makes you feel more confident.

You can try kegel excercises to strengthen your pelvic floor.

EffortlessDesmond · 25/04/2023 17:21

My Pilates teacher started a class (online) for women aimed at correcting or reversing pelvic floor issues. It's about five hour-long classes which teaches a set of exercises and breathing techniques to strengthen your pelvic floor and improve bladder and bowel control.

ClementWeatherToday · 25/04/2023 17:32

I agree that pants would be better than pads (you can get pants in lovely colours and prints and with lacy bits etc.) as they are less "obvious" (to yourself, I mean, no one else will notice either pads or pants) but do make sure to buy "wee pants" not "period pants" - they are made of different materials as the two liquids are best absorbed differently.

EffortlessDesmond · 25/04/2023 20:20

It works, I did it, and I would normally say DM for more information, but I am about to go on holiday.

Tlittle · 25/04/2023 20:23

Hi I got a electric tens pelvic floor machine. It did not get rid of my prolapses but I don't wee when I sneeze or cough anymore so you could try that?x

Tlittle · 25/04/2023 20:25

Ps having my twins naturally buggered me up. X

Divorcedalongtime · 25/04/2023 20:39

@Callipygion i have the older version as I’ve had it over 2 years but I want to buy the new slimmer version. There is often a 10-20% discount.

Callipygion · 25/04/2023 20:43

Divorcedalongtime · 25/04/2023 20:39

@Callipygion i have the older version as I’ve had it over 2 years but I want to buy the new slimmer version. There is often a 10-20% discount.

I’ve just been looking at them on the website - if you sign up for the newsletter they give a 15% discount code.

ThePoshUns · 25/04/2023 21:04

vdbfamily · 25/04/2023 09:27

I have washable liners from cheeky wipes. Bought about 10 when peri menopause and not wanting to get caught out with erratic periods.
They have one popper to attach around gusset. Still going strong. Saved a fortune in panty liners and none of the perfume/ irritation etc and makes knickers last far longer as they never get soiled. They had BOGOF recently too.

I was coming onto to recommend washable pads. I get mine off eBay.

Butteralwaysmeltsaway · 25/04/2023 21:10

Following, you are not alone OP.

thegreylady · 25/04/2023 21:30

I am late 70s and have just begun to find it difficult to wait long if I need a wee. I usually leak a little bit but if I wear a pad it gives me more confidence to hold on for a few more minutes.

maddening · 25/04/2023 21:49

Crumpleton · 25/04/2023 16:39

I am surprised that people think anything can be done, I sort of thought maybe it was just inevitable really.

I think a lot of people think the same with certain conditions.

Wear a pad of some type, the product's you can buy today are not all the bulky type that were once the only choice.

I haven't been able to bring myself to mention this to anyone in real life

Have a chat your Dr, pretty much guarantee that you won't be the only patient they have that has this problem.

I had the botox injection treatment - it has helped.

https://www.advancedgynecology.com/2021/what-to-expect-after-botox-injection-in-bladder/

Botox Injections in the Bladder: What to Expect | Advanced Gynecology

Botox bladder injections are an effective treatment for urinary incontinence. Here is what you should know about Botox injections in the bladder.

https://www.advancedgynecology.com/2021/what-to-expect-after-botox-injection-in-bladder

Divorcedalongtime · 25/04/2023 23:00

Callipygion · 25/04/2023 20:43

I’ve just been looking at them on the website - if you sign up for the newsletter they give a 15% discount code.

Show quote history

The games really are so much fun, j live mine

theyoungishman · 26/04/2023 00:28

OliveOilly · 25/04/2023 14:57

TBH I'd hold off using things like Perifit until you have had an assessment.

Years ago I bought some vaginal weights which are similar and the instructions with it said do not use if you have a prolapse. I didn't use them much as I was worried they would do more harm than good.

I did read some research into these weights and they said that there was no difference in improvement between using them and doing PF exercises properly.

Just butting in to say that one of the common reasons women buy the perifit is for prolapse- there is a targeted program for prolapse specifically and it definitely helps to improve it (speaking from experience). It's completely different to weights.

Original poster
ghi · 26/04/2023 00:51

So much help and suggestions on this thread. I can't reply to every individual right now, but I am working through and reading and looking into everything that has been suggested

💐

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 26/04/2023 00:55

Following

CorsicaDreaming · 26/04/2023 02:28

ghi · 25/04/2023 08:31

HRT is not possible for medical reasons

Have you looked into vagifem? It is a tiny dose of oestrogen delivered vaginally and could be what you need to resolve this.

It does not count as HRT is my understanding because it is topical so the does is so small compared to the oestrogen dose for HRT.

Worth discussing with your doctor

Goodread1 · 26/04/2023 02:56

Thank you so much @ghi for doing this Op thread here,

I have a situation in which I am good in the day,
But almost pee myself a few times a night, a hit and miss constantly

I will look into this...
I am almost 50 yrs

I think it's medication 💊 I have for high blood pressure

Mustardfan · 26/04/2023 07:06

@EffortlessDesmond I’m interested in those online classes, would you mind sending me a DM with the details?

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:21

CorsicaDreaming · 26/04/2023 02:28

Have you looked into vagifem? It is a tiny dose of oestrogen delivered vaginally and could be what you need to resolve this.

It does not count as HRT is my understanding because it is topical so the does is so small compared to the oestrogen dose for HRT.

Worth discussing with your doctor

Show quote history

@CorsicaDreaming @ghi said she was on estrogen-blockers which are sometimes prescribed for women after breast cancer. Local estrogen doesn't work if they are being used. I suggested she talks to her specialist or sees a menopause specialist as there is another product called DHEA that might be used.

OliveOilly · 26/04/2023 07:23

thegreylady · 25/04/2023 21:30

I am late 70s and have just begun to find it difficult to wait long if I need a wee. I usually leak a little bit but if I wear a pad it gives me more confidence to hold on for a few more minutes.

@thegreylady You might want to see your GP and ask for vaginal estrogen. It helps this kind of thing and can be used by very elderly women.

Kdubs1981 · 26/04/2023 07:28

Please don't feel embarrassed! It's so common, no one speaks about it. Definitely things that can be done! I am only 41, but have problems following childbirth. Physio and potentially surgery can be used to help. Definitely see your gp

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