Incontinence pads -AIBU not to give in yet?

[ghi]

When do you give in?

Small leakages, several times a week. There is no sensation of full bladder, or anything at all, just the sensation of a leakage happening. It has not shown through my clothes, ever, it is very small. But is it just a matter of time until I wet myself noticeably in public?

It is affecting my confidence.

AIBU to NOT start using incontinence pads? It feels like giving in, and admitting the problem is going to get worse. Or should I give in and admit the problem is going to get worse? I want to fight it, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to fight - I can't tighten muscles to prevent it, it seems like my muscles just go paralysed for those few moments.

I am glad to hear of any other experiences and opinions.

YABU - You need the pads you silly woman, just go and get some
YANBU - No! Hold off! Don't give in!

@OliveOilly - yes, sorry - I posted that when I came to @ghi initial comment on HRT, and then read your further discussion with her later on the thread.

I wonder whether that is the reason then, but that's not a possible solution unfortunately ?

It could be useful for other people reading though to know about it - MN is an amazing mine of information and I initially heard about it on here when I was unaware of it before - and it can be really effective.

I find Modibodi pants great - more expensive than Marks and Sparks, but just more comfortable and the lining material is much nicer feeling.

This is a discount code in case you are interested-

i.refs.cc/g4G2z6mX?smile_ref=eyJzbWlsZV9zb3VyY2UiOiJzbWlsZV91aSIsInNtaWxlX21lZGl1bSI6IiIsInNtaWxlX2NhbXBhaWduIjoicmVmZXJyYWxfcHJvZ3JhbSIsInNtaWxlX2N1c3RvbWVyX2lkIjpudWxsfQ%3D%3D

I'm 70, last year I was feeling like you. I bought one of the electrical exercise devices, there are lots on the market, and the problem has gone. For a few months I was using it every night, now I do a maintenance programme of twice a week, well if I'm honest it is more like once a week.

Those of you who swear by the pants - what happens if you have a leak during the day? Do you just wear the same pair of pants or do you change them? Part of the reason I like the pads is that when I have a leak I can just whip them out and put a fresh one on. I can’t imagine spending the whole day wearing the same pair of pants if I’d made them wet….? Maybe I’m missing something. Or do people change them throughout the day if they need to?

I wear period pants for leaks. They don't feel wet. That's why you can have a period and they are comfy to wear.

After years of using pads, I recently discovered Period Panties (I got mine in M&S) ... absolute game changer! I'm 58 years old and wish I had discovered them 30 years earlier!

@ghi same problem here at 61- I have post covid nerve damage though and In my case I think it's all linked.

Missed your comment yesterday. I bed your GP was a male! Mine said similar when I was 55! Exercises as have been suggested helped.

As it's never talked about, I thought I was on my own. So glad for this thread.

Which device did you get please?

Medication is also an option.. I sometimes get urine issues due to my high dose of anti depressants affecting the muscle tone in my bladder.
Only just making it to the loo.
Going to try a medication called 'Mirabegron'.

I've tried solifenacin (my mouth was far too dry) and Oxybutynin but had some urine retention with those, so this is the next one that Urologists have recommended.

I'm also trying vagifem as a bit dry down there (at 46); not had kids so it's not childbirth issues causing any incontinence and I take the progesterone only pill constantly so can't tell if I'm on peri menopause at all.

I wear washable continue pads. Couldn’t be without them, really hard to relax when you are worrying about every sneeze or if I have to run.

I’m late 40’s so it’s shit but I’ve had significant prolapse problems and don’t want to consider any other surgical intervention currently. Have previously had a vault prolapse surgery which did nothing to do fix my rectocele and urinary issues developed a few years after that surgery.

Continence, not fucking continue!!

I wear a very thin liner for the few days before my period when my pelvic floor is weaker. When I saw a physio for UI she said that the ligaments are weaker just before. I have had surgery for it which improved things by about 80-90%, and I can do pelvic floor exercises properly which helps.
When I go to the gym and lift heavy things (myself mainly) I sometimes wear a bigger pad as the motion can cause minor stress incontinence and I worry I'll leak through.

It's a pain in the arse being a woman. DS was massive and dragged out of me in an emergency/with forceps. I love him but you can go off someone!

The pants hold so much more that they do not get wet. There are also different absorbencies so if have larger leaks can have bigger ones that will last the day.