Incontinence pads -AIBU not to give in yet?

[ghi]

When do you give in?

Small leakages, several times a week. There is no sensation of full bladder, or anything at all, just the sensation of a leakage happening. It has not shown through my clothes, ever, it is very small. But is it just a matter of time until I wet myself noticeably in public?

It is affecting my confidence.

AIBU to NOT start using incontinence pads? It feels like giving in, and admitting the problem is going to get worse. Or should I give in and admit the problem is going to get worse? I want to fight it, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to fight - I can't tighten muscles to prevent it, it seems like my muscles just go paralysed for those few moments.

I am glad to hear of any other experiences and opinions.

YABU - You need the pads you silly woman, just go and get some
YANBU - No! Hold off! Don't give in!

My sister has suffered for a few years now with bladder issues and had various quite invasive procedures over years. She recently discovered a product called Judes which has changed her life completely! Its not for everyone but she says its improved her leakage by about 98%, and shes tested it with a big spring clean and a drinking session. She was spending as much on pads as she is now on the tablets. As I say not for everyone but maybe worth a try. I think the main ingredient is pumpkin extract.

Its not giving in they will help you live a better life having to find a toilet or change damp clothes etc must be exhausting on top of the actual leaking just wear them, And go to your gp there is things that can be done to help.

I don't think period pants are a good idea.

I have some -Modibodi- and the gusset it made of merino wool.

I don't think wool and wee will smell so good!

Pads and thin liners are supposed to disguise the smell with the gel they contain.

@ghi If exercise fails you can have surgery. I had prolapse surgery in my 30s. I wasn't leaking but I did have a bladder prolapse and it was all hitched up. I think now, women are getting good results with physio, but I did have physio with an electrical device and it didn't help.

Ideally you need to see someone to assess what's going on internally and how much 'slack' there is.

Nope. You don't need to put up with it.

I am 45 and am now on HRT and use ovestin cream and I've gone from endlessly weeing to weeing about 6 times a day and NEVER at night! I used to go three times a night.

I only leaked when I was taking a big fast step powerwalking or running or coughing hard or sneezing.

This has reduced massively.

At just over 60 I was using quite substantial pads during the day, and having to change them 2-3 times if I was being active (in the fast walking/walking over rough ground sense) At just over 70, I don't use pads at all. If I am going out all day hill walking, I might use a pantyliner. So yes, this can be dealt with - please do it.

This started happening to me. I went to my GP who told me I have a prolapsed overactive bladder. She prescribed medication which has really helped. I have invested in tena knickers (proper underwear rather than the ones that look like pull ups). Changed my life

I have the cheaper one I think.. I'm in Australia but it's this one on the pic. It really works!

Agree with going back to the GP.
Ask for a referral to the local continence team, I think they are called pelvic team in some areas. They will have lots of ideas to help.

It's treatable and can be cured with exercise or even surgery worst case.

While most is, not all is. I’m one of the small proportion where it can’t be addressed any which way which I don’t find so bad tbh. Once you establish that it is what it is and you just make the best of it.

Should have said OP should definitely seek medical assistance though, as likely in the main proportion of women where there are options, so may as well get started down that route now.

Period pants are the way forward op

I have had this since having a baby four and a half years ago. It is so much better than it was. I saw an NHS physio for a while who taught me to do exercises and introduced me to the squeezy app, and it did help (it is really worth seeing a physio because they teach you the correct muscles to squeeze). The biggest difference came when I realised that I didn't leak whilst I had my period and eventually worked out that my mooncup was the key. I now wear it every day (take it out at night) and have gone from needing to wear a full size pad to only needing an extra layer when I have a cough. I can pick up my 4YO without wetting myself, and even went on the little trampoline in the park with her!

Just to add, I tried the washable pants and they didn't work for me - they soaked through and I threw them away in the end. Mine were a sample from the physio, and maybe other brands are more effective.

Go and see your GP and get a referral. You might have a bladder prolapse etc. I had surgery and have never looked back. Tenalady make a killing from people too embarrassed to get help/resigned to the idea "this is life now". Line their pockets in the meantime but help is out there for incontinence.

Speak to your doctor there's medication you can take
No need to suffer or be embarrassed at all

I have just ordered the Perifit 12% off 2ith 12MAY code.
Thank you some invaluable advise, I was just putting up with it and this has pushed me to do something about it. Just under £105

Perifit - Kegel Exerciser with App - A LITTLE FIND

I am struggling badly with this issue. The perifit is expensive. I hadn’t heard of it. But I’m thinking it might be a worthwhile investment. I’m a bit of a prude and already worried about it though. But I’m having to shower multiple times a day. My jeans get wet through and it’s very embarrassing.

Hey OP, I'm 51 and peri and I have little leaks at certain times of my cycle, I use normal scented panty liners. I use them everyday anyway but they have been sufficient to save any disasters. I'm paranoid I smell of pee though. Good luck 💐

TBH I'd hold off using things like Perifit until you have had an assessment.

Years ago I bought some vaginal weights which are similar and the instructions with it said do not use if you have a prolapse. I didn't use them much as I was worried they would do more harm than good.

I did read some research into these weights and they said that there was no difference in improvement between using them and doing PF exercises properly.

@Latenightreader The mooncup is lifting your bladder outlet so it doesn't sag. It's the same principle as a pessary ring they give woemn.

If it does sag and the opening is below the bladder, that causes leakage.

You shouldn't really need to use the mooncup and you could see your GP. Surgery where they lift things back into place is maybe worth thinking about as you don't want to be using devices for life.

It makes me so cross when women get told they have to just put up with it. You absolutely don't and it's not fucking normal! Yes, get some pads for now but definitely see your gp as there's loads of treatment options. I take oxybutinin which has transformed my life. I have an overactive bladder and can sometimes leak for no good reason. These tablets have stopped it.

I had a friend who had a very bad experience with this surgery and it really put me off the idea. To be honest I would much rather use a device which is painless and easy to clean than have an operation, although I haven't ruled it out long term and I have read about success stories. My physio did ask my GP to prescribe me an internal device which works the same way (I think it was called contiform) but that never happened.

There are things the gp can refer you on that help, in the meantime get the pads imo

I am surprised that people think anything can be done, I sort of thought maybe it was just inevitable really.

I think a lot of people think the same with certain conditions.

Wear a pad of some type, the product's you can buy today are not all the bulky type that were once the only choice.

I haven't been able to bring myself to mention this to anyone in real life

Have a chat your Dr, pretty much guarantee that you won't be the only patient they have that has this problem.

I have huge difficulties in this department.
I m 42 and have lupus and all sorts of health issues and have suffered with recurrent UTIs all my life - been on daily long term antibiotics since I was 14. I recently went to the doctor about my increasing urinary incontinence and feeling like I have a uti all the time. I had a cystoscopy and they found my bladder was incredibly inflamed, they’ve put that down to lupus and intercystinal cystitis. I’ve been offered amitriptyline which has helped me to sleep better but I’m still peeing like a trooper when I cough! No further help offered. I am due to see my rheumatologist in June so perhaps they’ll have some suggestions then. Was kind of hoping urology might be more helpful!

I wear always discreet liners every day and on days when I feel I’m going to cough (asthma) or I am out and about lots I’ll wear a proper always pad. I often find I don’t even need them but I’d rather wear them than not. I find it so depressing though; I don’t wear clothes I want to wear because I’m worried about a leak - I just wear black or dark clothes. Fed up with it all.