Who is BU, me or my stupid bastard prick of a printer?

[DingsBum]

Jeez. One job. It has one job but somehow acts like it's massively put upon when called on to perform

Current issue: apparently it's got no colour ink. The colour ink light is flashing and obviously this means it cannot print anything at all ever.

a) it's got colour ink, I can see from the bloody app that the colour ink cartridge is 68% full

b) I don't even want to print in colour, just black and sodding white

c) it ORDERS ITS OWN INK so if there really is no colour ink then whose fault is that anyway, hmmmmm?? Not mine, you stupid HP arsewipe. This is most definitely a you problem

d) it has got fucking colour ink

Anyway in short, does a sub-£100 wireless printer exist, that just prints what you want it to when you want it to without throwing a massive shit fit on a regular basis? Why so compli

Epsom one changed my life. I rely on a printer for my business. You buy ink in a bottle online and just pour it in!!! No more cartridges! Avoid HP work of the devil. I have a second Epsom one in a box as back up.

No answers just solidarity. Printers are the bane of my life at work. I run a facility and we need to print regularly throughout the day. The amount of time I spend whacking fiddling with printers is unbelievable. I swear my IT support just put the phone down when I ring and say I've got a printer issue.
Most recently the one in my office randomly switched to only printing on A5 paper. All the settings are for A4 on both printer and computer. IT are just shrugging at me and essentially have said to leave it alone until its changed its mind again.
Definitely sentient and definitely arseholes.

We had a whole dysfunctional family of HP bastards at work. It started with one and they reproduced over several sites, all of which were worthy of ASBOS. My WhatsApp chat thread to HP support was littered with daily crying emojis, begging and general despair. When we finally replaced what had become a small army of the unholy fuckers with proper adult printers I wept with joy.

Not long after we also received a new company credit card. I love that HP keep sending me quiet but snivelling, monthly emails to remind me to update my card details (despite all plans being well and truly cancelled). I feel like printing each one on our utterly reliable and remotely maintained upgrades and wallpapering my office with them.

Oh @DingsBum I think we have the same printer! Apart from the initial colour ink cartridge the printer came with, it hasn’t accepted a single colour cartridge since!
I have come to the conclusion that it’s in its Goth/Emo phase and will only print in Black and gothic shades of grey. One day it may grow out of it. Until that day we have little choice but to accept this new normal!

Printers come with a guarantee, has anybody tried getting printers fixed under a guarantee? Its a bit like light bulbs, they never last and yet are supposed to be guaranteed, anyone tried taking a lightbulb back? Bastard manufacturers!

I’ve given up with owning printers. I just pay for it doing properly at work now.

This is the least unreasonable post I've seen on mumsnet

This is why my printer has been shoved in a dark corner of my wardrobe!

ALSO can I add I am a postie and it’s a pain in the arse delivering the refill ink from HP! No one is expecting it to arrive so no one is ever home for the parcel they wasn’t expecting.

I’ve given up with my printer at home, but fortunately I work at a print company which has the most delightful professional Ricoh printers which are just a pleasure to do business with. They cost about 50 billion pounds or something though so probably not an option for most people. But it proves printers can be nice if they want to be.

This but more like an hour while trying everything to get the bloody thing to print one page that I need asap

YANBU, but all printers are pricks.

Printers are a cross between satan, a stroppy teenager, a miserable civil servant, a jobsworth council worker, a hysterical friend and a really thick Greggs assistant who gets your order all mixed up then tutts and huffs when you complain 😂

Another saying get a cheap black laser (even HP!), toner lasts for ages and I use compatibles. Kept the old one for the occasional emergency scans (otherwise have access to a great copier/printer for scans and colour copies). I always connect with USB cable though, never even bothered trying the WiFi, spent enough of my life on that malarkey, just plug in when needed.

Also keep paper in warm dry place, if slightly damp it doesn't separate easily and more likely to take clumps through

Home printers are the one reason I'm convinced robots will never overthrow us. All the other robots will get together but the bastard printers will insist there's no technology, that they can't connect with the others and that nobody is their friend.

I refuse to use my home printer and just print everything at work. If my children want to print something for school they have to whisper sweet nothings to it and when they come to me to say it's still refusing I give them money to use the school ones.

Haven’t even read the post. But it’s the printer. Always.

Terminator would have been a very different movie if the printers were in charge 😂😂😂

Mine is an HP on instant ink too.
It regularly tells me it can't sort out my ink because the printer is not connected and genius me that I must keep my printer connected in order for instant ink to work.

Nobody disconnects the printer. We are all aware that we must NOT TOUCH the printer. The only individual who disconnects the printer is The Printer.

I changed my cartridges yesterday because it told me to. The new colour one won't communicate with the printer. Sulky twat. The old one which has a smidgen of ink remaining communicates just fine.

Took me an hour on the WhatsApp support chat thing to get them to send a new cartridge out.

Instant ink is such a con really because I can go for months printing nothing and then have a massive batch so it yells at me and charges me a million pounds for my excess pages. Yet I never unsubscribe completely, just keep getting to guess what plan I need to be on next month. If I unsubscribe I know I'll run out of ink and the supermarket will be out of the right cartridge.

I'll be back. When I can be bothered. Probably 2am. Then I'll do half a job. But I'll be back.

Oh I get it!
Believe me I get it!
I have an HP too..
I have been on my knees on the floor weeping in frustration.... because of this printer.
You can NEVER just switch it on and print... NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!
Worst money I have ever spent.
Worst printer I have ever come across.
As soon as I can afford to replace it, it will be going in the bin, in pieces..

Revenge is a dish best supped cold.

I've just bought a new printer because the old one has decided it doesn't like paper. The new one is still sitting in its box as I can't yet face the battle of getting it set up.

Printers are evil.

DH was given an HP printer for a significant birthday. After two visits from computer bloke to set it up (£60 down the drain) it was decided the bloody thing was faulty. But who would ever know? The ancient Epson chugged on for two decades.

We got a full refund for our bastard.

I hate printers. I have never found one that lasts. The last one did similar to what yours is doing and I ended up picking it up and putting it in the wheely bin as it was the 897th time it had done it and I'd spent millions of pounds on ink by that point.

Preferred brand or beat device to fire it out of the window?

🤯😂