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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how do people afford everything?

381 replies

JL642 · 23/04/2023 23:32

Just that. How does everyone afford everything?

Coffee shops etc packed here. Social media full of people doing expensive things.

DH and I ate high earners so I don’t get it.

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 23/04/2023 23:34

Priorities? I don’t wear make up or have any beauty treatments other than haircuts. But I do take DSs for ‘coffee and cake’.

Malarandras · 23/04/2023 23:35

I can’t speak for everyone else but I get quite a bit in pensions cause I’m a widow. The emotional toll is pretty high but there’s got to be some benefit to being widowed at 36!

00100001 · 23/04/2023 23:36

You're high earners but can't afford £2.75 for a coffee??

What are you spending your money on??

MojoMoon · 23/04/2023 23:36

Social media isn't real.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 23/04/2023 23:37

I can afford to go for a coffee. Not a high earner.

I recommend staying away from social media.

llangennith · 23/04/2023 23:37

If you make a list of your direct debits and standing orders you'll probably be surprised how much goes out of your account as soon as your pay goes in.

RandomSunday · 23/04/2023 23:37

Define “everything”.

greenthumb13 · 23/04/2023 23:38

I think a lot of people spend more than they make and go into debt or get a lot on BNPL, leasing cars, etc. if you're sensible with your money you're better off in the long term but might seem like you're not now

DurhamDales · 23/04/2023 23:38

I don’t think everyone does everything. The people in the coffee shop aren’t necessarily the same people in the gym or the cinema.

Can’t work out if you are saying you’re a high earner or not but I can’t see what’s not to get really.

Original poster
JL642 · 23/04/2023 23:38

00100001 · 23/04/2023 23:36

You're high earners but can't afford £2.75 for a coffee??

What are you spending your money on??

I didn’t say I can’t afford coffee and cake.

I was flippant in my op saying coffee shops. It’s the general social media people on ski trips, eating out, Botox the lot.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 23/04/2023 23:39

what is it you can’t afford to do? If you’re a high earner presumably you have a big mortgage or other extensive outgoings. Someone will come to say everyone’s using credit but I do lots of events and days out Im not relying on credit cards.

NeatCompactSleeper · 23/04/2023 23:39

This question gets asked so often on Mumsnet and I can't for the life of me fathom why?

Surely it's obvious that different people spend money on different things, and always have?

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 23/04/2023 23:39

I know what you mean.

There are still alot of people with money around. I think alot inherited wealth.

HeidiIou · 23/04/2023 23:40

If you're both high earners can you not afford those things? Maybe the choices you have made, debt, choice of home etc is eating your money instead.

TheSaturdayAfternoonnessOfIt · 23/04/2023 23:41

No coffee-shop coffees and such in my life! Own-brand granulated coffee ad take a flask if I am likely to want one out of the house.

You're not seeing all the people who are at home, not spending any money - because they're at home, not spending any money.

NeatCompactSleeper · 23/04/2023 23:41

I have colleagues who are high earners and they're always 'skint'.

But that's because they save a high percentage of their wages.

Some people are spenders and some are savers.

APseudonymNeeded · 23/04/2023 23:43

The friend I have who has an Instagram worthy home, clothes & holidays can’t sleep at night because of the debt hanging over them. Social media isn’t real.

kitsuneghost · 23/04/2023 23:54

If you are high earners you must be spending your money on something.
Expensive house?
Expensive cars?
Expensive phone contracts?
Posh clothes?
Private education for kids?
Just not coffee and cake

Abcdefgh1234 · 23/04/2023 23:57

we are single income family. DH is high earner, i’m housewife. When DH earns 50k, 60k, 70k you still have to budget, especially if you still have mortgage. You cant afford to do ski holiday, botox, etc. When DH start 6 figures and we dont have mortgage anymore then we can more enjoy our life. I do botox every 6 month, we go to asia every year on summer holiday, ski holiday on winter, etc. high earners its hugeeeee spectrum. Having 50K and 300K its massive difference, but still in the same ‘high earner’ categories

kitsuneghost · 23/04/2023 23:58

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 23/04/2023 23:39

I know what you mean.

There are still alot of people with money around. I think alot inherited wealth.

Not necessarily inherited wealth. Me and OH are on average wage each. he is £1000 on rent. I am £1000 on food and bills. So we still have 1.5k a month for going out, savings or anything cropping up.

orangeisalemon · 23/04/2023 23:59

Maybe they don’t go abroad, or have a tiny home, or own an old car outright? Or they could be in debt. Or they might just have more money

Chocolateisnice · 24/04/2023 00:01

I am not a high earner but I still go on holidays, go for meals etc. It is priorities on what you spend your money on. I never bug myself new clothes, cut my own hair, never have any treatments (e.g nails).
Remember when you see people going out for meals on social media, that could be the only time they go out... just everything documented so it seems like a lot more.

Tigofigo · 24/04/2023 00:01

I read that during times of hardship people still treat themselves to small treats like a coffee and cake because it's still affordable for a lot of people to do. Whereas a 3 course dinner with wine may not be.

That aside, the median wage is £33k. In a two person earning household (which is most households) that's actually a pretty decent income, out of the most expensive areas of the country.

And 50% of people are earning more than that.

PrincessofWellies · 24/04/2023 00:03

I made good decisions early in my life, and went without for a decade so I can have it now.

Tigofigo · 24/04/2023 00:04

Chocolateisnice · 24/04/2023 00:01

I am not a high earner but I still go on holidays, go for meals etc. It is priorities on what you spend your money on. I never bug myself new clothes, cut my own hair, never have any treatments (e.g nails).
Remember when you see people going out for meals on social media, that could be the only time they go out... just everything documented so it seems like a lot more.

This is a very good point.

We spend a fair bit on weekly food shop (organic or more ethical produce) and on holidays. But we don't spend much at all on the house.

Our friends with a new two storey extension haven't been on holiday for 5 years.