To wonder how do people afford everything?

[JL642]

Just that. How does everyone afford everything?

Coffee shops etc packed here. Social media full of people doing expensive things.

DH and I ate high earners so I don’t get it.

Why is it hard to fathom they might have different priorities to you or a different set of circumstances? A good friend posts a lot on Instagram, she works full time and earns a good wage, has 1 bed flat but has decorated it beautifully, uses the gym at work, buys her clothes from markets and absolutely lives for eating out and holidays. There isn't a partner nor does she have kids so her money is entirely her own.

I have a dh, 3 kids, work part time and after bills and groceries prioritise decorating my home, activities with the kids and weekends away in the UK. I don't get my hair or nails done regularly so we do have the odd takeaway and if out with the kids quite often will have lunch out.

Depends on so many factors - 2 people may earn the same, but one might own the house outright because they bought young, they made good financial investments etc, and the other with a big mortgage and no savings.
We can’t forget inheritance too, that’s a big factor.
Some also might be spending way beyond their means to maintain the lifestyle they have.

It's all smoke and mirrors @JL642

You're only seeing that one moment in time for those people - you're not seeing behind the mirrors, what they are doing without

Focus on yourself and don't concentrate on anyone else's false status updates

i was shocked that the pubs are so full and busy when i went to london,
there are rich people around

Worry about yourself. Don’t worry what anyone else does. I know people in very high and very low places- we are all just human and have our own hopes, dreams and problems. Be good to everyone and do your best.

I say this because fretting is a waste of time.

Honestly I have no idea. We’re not high earners, but we’re not really low earners either and we seem to just drink money (not literally, we rarely drink alcohol). In one hand and out the other. It actually baffles me how we survived when we were lower earners a few years ago pulling in ~£30k joint income a year, yet had so much more disposable income, but cost of living was that much lower even then. Mad.

Not everyone is short of money. We have paid off the mortgage and 2 kids are self sufficient with money of their own, we await the other 2! High earner (him) with a bonus due Friday bigger than my annual salary after tax.

Different people have different priorities and different attitudes to life and fun. Two examples below:

1. Teacher and engineer. Both from working class backgrounds with big families. Their priority was always savings. They were mean with food, their children remember being hungry, holidays were in Brid and Scarborough where the dc once remember sharing a cornet rather than getting one each. The house is like the house that time forgot. Everything bought in sales. Two cars, each kept for 20 years over a 40 year period. Never bought a round, never entertained at home, never discovered the joy of giving or living. Quite bitter and jealous.

1. Thesp (wealthy family), husband's 1 and 2 professionals, husband 3 successful specialist tradesman, good company. Beautiful clothes, beautiful homes (even at 86), very active social life, lots of treats, holidays, cruises, generous, a big spender, nice cars, etc., hailed a cab rather than wait for the bus.

1. Will leave over a million and people like her optician/dentist ask if she can afford new specs, a denture, etc. 2. Will leave about half a million, but nobody in a zillion years would ever think she couldn't afford her dentist's bill or the leccy.

You would never tell from the outside. Personally I think there's a middle, pragmatic way.

What everyone else said. We’re high earners but I don’t think we look it, and I enjoy the raised eyebrows from others when something comes out that does betray that.

Some people are literal "penny pinchers". It is extraordinary how much disposable income you can accrue by saving small amounts over the years. It makes me happy that many people are still having fun spending money because I can't tell you how depressed it makes me to think of families who are unable to heat their homes or feed themselves.

im on a very average 25k ish so not flush but we are coping fine. You would have seen us out for a couple of drinks and tea in the pub yesterday. But what you wouldn’t see is we haven’t eaten out since good Friday before that as saving for our trip away soon. Normally we can afford to eat out easily 2/3 times a month plus odd takeaways but locally and cheaper places most of the time. I don’t buy daily coffees and take food to work from home.

I agree with the comment about priorities though. I don’t spent loads on having eyebrows/nails etc ( work in nhs no point) our holidays are shorter and cheaper city breaks ( 2/3 year) than a two week all inclusive. I buy mostly clothes from Vinted since they went up so much in price. We don’t have kids so no nursery fees. Smaller house in -smaller mortgage that is fixed so isn’t going up with interest rates.

Everyone’s circumstances are different that’s why some places are still busy. Certainly not all, many places in Manchester City centre and the surrounding areas are closing atm. Due to high costs. Even if they are busy it’s too much

Social Media is not real though. It's portraying how they want you to think they live. Some aspects may be true, some may be exaggerated, some negative things will be glossed over or not revealed at all, to make it look like their lives are better than they are.

I don't do social media at all. Not remotely interested in it. If we decide to go for coffee and cake, or lunch/dinner out, tickets to a show, weekend away, anything - you won't know about it because we just do it without posting about it to the internet. I won't see what you're doing because I'm not looking.

Holidays abroad surprise me the most. DH has a theory that people get in to debt to cover them but surely that’s not the case for everyone!

Have one old car, modest house, one kid at state school. But we've paid off three mortgages, have savings, investments and pensions, go on a three week holiday abroad every year (because if you buy flights three weeks apart they are cheaper than two weeks apart, sometimes even to the extent of covering the extra week's accommodation. Who knew?!) We're not getting into debt to be able to book a holiday.

I never know why people ask how others afford anything/everything. Isn't it obvious?!

This is why these threads are pointless.

No one agrees what a "high earner" or a "good wage" actually is.

The only sensible way is to use the tax brackets. So below roughly £50k you are a basic earner. If you pay 40% tax you're a higher earner. Based on that logic a couple would need £100k between them before being a "high income household". A single person obviously has to earn double themselves.

Anytime I started thinking like this I was either very stressed or in very hard conditions. Just focus on what you have and what you enjoy.

I went to the seaside the other day -£12 return and £3 for a latte on the beach (it was windy and cold but still worthwhile).

The COL crisis has been massively hyped up on MN and on SM so I think some people on here think that people out there are reduced to Dickensian poverty.

In reality, most people are fine. I have 2 friends who are both unemployed and on benefits and they have coffee in a franchise shop every day.

If you're a high earner and can't afford coffee then something is wrong!

I've said this before recently but my DH works at an airport and says it's never been busier. So despite the COL, people are still off on their holidays.

Well I go out for coffee and cake, not every week but I go whenever I want to meet a friend. I also have a gym membership and I’ve 2 holidays booked for this year. However, I take my own lunch to work and make my own coffee. We have reduced to one low cost car. I walk to work. I do have lots of clothes but I buy pre loved ( 2nd hand) or I wait until items are heavily discounted as I don’t buy the latest model, and I use discounted websites to buy end of range. I shop around and only buy holidays which are reasonable so that might mean going in low peak, going from a different airport, not going for 7 nights etc etc etc.
We also subscribe to lots of things and often get incentives to eat out so only do that when it’s what I consider reasonable.

We locked in to a good mortgage rate before they went up. And we locked into a decent energy tariff before they went up (thank you Martin Lewis!).

We were able to save about £2k a month before but that is more like £1.5 now. I don't think we are well off but we have investments that we have prioritised over the years that gives us some additional income.

I don't think anyone can afford anything. I think some people can afford some things and that can make it look like lots of people can afford everything.

I take home about 11k after tax and other deductions and my wife 2k. We are comfortable on that. But I don't think you could tell from looking at us, we're normally head to toe in Uniqlo, I have some pretty scruffy levis and worn out trainers that I can't bring myself to throw out - People probably "tut-tut" us when they see us in the coffee shop wasting what little we obviously (don't) have.

I find that very reassuring. It's nice to know that people are getting on with enjoying their lives.

I should say that is per month

Even then, a lot is being missed out because of the role of top up benefits which aren't taxed. But you're right though, high earner and good wage are subjective terms and inevitably they take into account people's personal circumstances and biases.

I am on 60k in London, single parent with 2 DC. I can afford coffee out, but unfortunately saving for something substantial like a front door or a new Ikea wardrobe is tough. So I better enjoy my coffee while daydreaming about the new wardrobe.

DH’s coworker occasionally makes comments about how he doesn’t know how we afford certain things we have/do, even though they earn double what we do. Things like how we afford our house, how we afford to ski as a family and travel so regularly, etc. It is because they:

• buy very expensive clothes for themselves and their kids
• buy designer furniture
• drive luxury cars
• pay 10k/week for holiday accommodation when they travel

Whereas we:

• don’t buy designer clothes
• don’t buy designer furniture
• don’t drive fancy cars
• spend a lot less on accommodation when we travel
• have a small mortgage relative to our house value because of when and where we bought our house (we bought something big in an unfashionable area which later became fashionable, whereas they spent a decade renting very swanky accommodation and then could only afford to buy an apartment because they would only ever consider living somewhere fashionable).

Everyone does different things with their resources.

Also the people that you see have some disposable. The ones really struggling aren’t out and about or posting online are they? They are at home trying to make ends meet.

Our community nurse team in work have plenty of tales of home visits of homes with children. No carpets, no heating, no presents at Christmas, barely any food, clothes that have seen better days etc. so sending referrals to charities for support

Does that make you feel better that yes many are struggling just not the ones you see. They are almost hidden because they don’t go anywhere!