To wonder how do people afford everything?

[JL642]

Just that. How does everyone afford everything?

Coffee shops etc packed here. Social media full of people doing expensive things.

DH and I ate high earners so I don’t get it.

We don’t do lots of little 100’s of pounds worth of days out like chessington Thorpe park etc but we do go on two holidays abroad each year instead I opt for free days out parks beach etc that are enjoyable we keep our garden really nice so the pool goes up in nice weather and we have a playhouse a basket ball hoop etc. Occasionally we do the Cinema if there’s a film we really really want to see takeaway once a week I cook healthy and cheaply the rest of the week, I do take the kids swimming at the local gym as it’s free for the little ones with my membership and only £3 for the older child to come so another money saver that’s a nice day.

I don’t feel like the kids miss much with the big theme parks as my eldest is 16 she has gone to them with friends and we fund that so it isn’t like they won’t ever go to them either.

A coffee is £3. Expensive stuff - maybe it’s their only trip in months, maybe they got half price seats, or know someone who got them in etc etc. maybe it’s all on credit?

Also you don’t know much much work they do - I know lots of people who work three jobs then appear carefree on their occasional days odd. Comparison is the thief of joy. Do things you enjoy. Don’t worry about anyone else.

We are probably what most people would class a high earners. We prioritise certain things, but we don’t do everything. We do a lot of sport, go to the gym and I have a PT. The kids also do a lot of sport and and the training dues and equipment they need is expensive.

We don’t eat out a lot or spend on things like coffee and cake. We used to eat out a lot before kids and it really adds up.

If you're looking at high earners, it's all about priorities. We're high (but not stratospheric) earners. Money goes on savings, private school, holidays and food (at home and sometimes out). If you look at just those aspects of our lives, you would 'see' that we're well off. But we don't spend any money on house (small house, mortgage paid off), nights out, beauty treatments, coffees, skiing, nice cars (ours are oldish and cheap), gyms, expensive hobbies, because those things hold no interest for us. If you looked at just those aspects of our lives, you would assume we weren't very well off. And neither of use SM, so if you didn't know us well, you wouldn't 'see' :anything at all. I think housing is the biggest single aspect. We could have bought a big house and taken out a big mortgage, but we'd far rather have a small house and disposable income.

I don't understand how you can earn those figures when you cannot simply work out something so simple like people having different priorities. Some people earn so low that no matter what they do, they wouldn't be able to have the things you currently have. I have a good income compared to my friends which goes towards housing and planning a future for my 3yo which may include private education in secondary school years whereas my friends can't afford any of those and live in social housing/privately rent but they have a much better social calendar to me where they go out for coffees, meals, cinemas, concerts and mini weekends away, drink alcohol out and smoke as well. I never do any of those mainly because my priorities are different to theirs but not because I'm the smarter one, it's because no matter how much they save from their coffees and concerts, they wouldn't be able to afford a deposit and pay a huge mortgage not matter how much they save and scrimp. So while they can afford the social calendar, they cannot afford to pay 3k a month for mortgage and 10k every term for their dc's private education.

It will massively depends on what you class as “very well off”? Also what area you live in. I’ve seen people say they’re “very well off” on a combined income of 80k, which whilst comfortable I wouldn’t class as rolling in it and if you’re a home owner in the south unfortunately probably isn’t enough for lots of treats. It’s all relative.

I do t understand the poster who proudly states none of the family ever go to the hairdressers?!

DH and I ate high earners so I don’t get it.

No you are not
Nice try.

These weekly "how come shops/restaurants are full" -headtilt- are getting more ridiculous than Meghan threads🙄

I can go for a coffee sometimes and we both work minimum wage jobs so not nessarily true. I wonder if OP can't budget properly?

OP I actually agree. Clothes shops coffee shops etc are more swarming than I’ve seen in my life. Can’t move in expensive shopping centres. In a quite poor area too so not sure who’s skint but it’s no one around me.

You only see what people spend not want they don't spend.

So we have a ski holiday each year. Carefully researched to get get a balance between good skiing, lessons and price, not a fancy catered chalet in a French/Swiss resort. Otherwise we go camping.

We sometimes have a meal out. But its a proper meal rather than a takeaway or McDonalds or a coffee... those are rare treats as we don't see them as worth the money. We take picnics on days out etc.

One DC plays Rugby. They don't charge high fees... they ask instead that parents help with fundraising and time. As a result, over 100 kids have a completely free sports programme. The club is very well regarded.

You might see us in our SUV. We need it for watersports, camping, skiing etc. Our other car is 15+yo.. it just needs to get us from.A-B.

People prioritise spending.

We prioritise experience over stuff. We can't afford a lot of either, but as a recent example I was looking at new garden furniture - but if we buy that then we can't afford a mini break we want to do in May half term. So I will be bleaching the old white plastic chairs for another year and we will have our 2 night mini break 😊
There will come a point when I will have to give in and buy new garden furniture though!! But I reckon the crap stuff has at least another year left in it

We both work full time and both earn below the average wage, living in a London borough so times are pretty tough!

Well, it is a potentially big area of spend. We do use hairdressers, but only an occasional cheap trim for me and a cheapest barber on the high street lor them. So less than 300 quid a year. Some people will spend that much every couple of months on cuts and colours. If we really wanted to save, we could do it ourselves at home, but that's a step too far for me! I don't care about fancy haircuts though.

Most of that is a choice though including private school education.

We are above average earners - both of us. I spend money on my hair, clothes and always have money for a nice food shop. I also spend on our daughter's hobbies. The other side of it is that we don't go away much or eat out. We have one modest holiday a year. We very rarely go to the pub. Our social expenses are low. Our house wasn't very expensive either - about 200 thousand pounds. We do have childcare costs but usually we do OK due to low outgoings in other areas. I have friends who are completely different. One of my friends goes away several times a year, also has lots of short breaks, eats out at least once a week etc... she's just cancelled Netflix to save money! I would like a more active social life eventually but I'm giving birth soon so it will have to wait for now.

Everyone's situation is different.

18 months ago my household income was about £70k. We were comfortable but not flush. Then I changed job. Now our household income is more like £95k. Our household expenses haven't risen so we have spare cash to spend if we want.

Not everyone is hurt by CoL increases to the same extent. We have been hit by increases but not hurt because we have a decent pad.

We aren't high earners. I would say mid range. 60k between the both of us. We have 1 teen DD.

We have lots of pots for stuff so we have savings, Xmas, holidays, cars, which don't get touched. We have also a pot for shopping, one for DD expenditure, one for the dog 😂, one for family stuff (takeaways etc) but most importantly, we have a pot each where we have £250 per month each to spend on whatever we want. I use mine for Botox some months and buy coffee out. Or go out for a night out. But that £250 is ours and we can do with it what we want.

Can you not do similar OP?

I believe there are about 750 shopping centres based on google from 2022.
67.3 mil population.
89,733 people per shopping centre.
Of course it will be busy!
You are also there🤷🏻

I am very very glad that people are going out and spending their hard earned cash enjoying themselves, while investing on their lovely local retail and catering industries.
Because if we do not, then the business will close, they will stop producing revenue, their employees will go into UC or other welfare (which the tax payer pays for), we will lose the business tax (so the tax payer has to make up for it), the area will not look attractive with an empty closed spot and other business/ tourism will decline (which is tax payer's loss, yet again) and so on and on...
All to the general detriment of the tax payer. So nothing wrong at all with going out for a nice coffee.

I'm the opposite. My brother and his wife are doctors. They literally earn double what we do and they bought their house for the same as us so I know they don't have a huge mortgage. They don't have children in nursery. They are always complaining how they don't have any money and don't seem to do anything very interesting! I can only assume they save thousands, because I'm pretty sure they're not paying into a private pension even (understandable as both will get NHS pensions based on their decent salaries).

Some people live within this means and some don’t. The cost of living crisis is not evenly spread. I live in a naice place in northern England and also see coffee shops packed full of people but in the past 2 weeks alone one coffee shop and one very good restaurant ( always busy) have just closed. I was a bit shocked tbh as they were both v popular. So maybe my impression of their busyness was skewed. Also have a holiday let in a very touristy spot and bookings have fallen through the floor this year.

Aren't people allowed something nice in their lives?

Our mortgage is less than half what the bank was willing to lend us. This was a deliberate choice so that when brown stuff started to fly, we would have a lovely big umbrella.
If we had gone for the biggest house we could afford, we would not now be able to afford all the things that people are apparently baffled we can still afford.

I'm a low earner but meet a friend for coffee once a week. Sometimes I have cake too. However I live in a fairly small council house, don't own a car, don't spend on beauty, cigarettes, alcohol or little else for myself. My disposable income goes on after school activities and days out in the school holidays for my kids. Last week it was the school holidays, so took my kids to the cinema and met my friend for coffee. So I afford to do stuff like that by not spending on other non essentials and budgeting.

That's interesting about perception of busyness. It is possible for coffee shops & restaurants to look just as busy but suffer a significant drop in income:

Fewer drinks (normally high margin) and more tap water
More shared starters and puddings
Fewer side dishes

It can all add up