To think you don’t use hosts en-suite?

[HauntedLady]

Uni friend and her husband staying with me last night after an evening in at mine. Slightly odd house layout in that it’s a tall, thin house across 4 floors - on the floor they were sleeping there’s only the guest room and my bedroom with an en-suite. Family bathroom is halfway up the stairs leading up to the next floor that has my dc’s bedrooms.

I wake in the night to hear shuffling around in my en-suite - sleepily call out “wash your hands” as 7yo has a habit of coming to use my loo in the night if he wakes up then getting into bed with me still. Hear a laugh and friend says “don’t worry, only me” before going back to guest bedroom. I struggle to get back to sleep again thinking his bizarre it was and wondering if that means her dh will be coming in to use my loo too - he didn’t thankfully. She came back for another loo visit a couple of hours later. I got up early with dc so not sure if they used it for morning ablutions, seemed to use family bathroom for shower but it’s a much nicer shower so it makes sense.

AIBU to think you don’t go to the loo in your hosts en-suite when you know they’re asleep in bed? I wouldn’t be too bothered about anyone using it during the day but when I’m in my bedroom it seems a bit of an invasion.

Friend and her dh know the layout of my house as they came for my housewarming party but haven’t stayed over before. They definitely know where the main bathroom is though and it’s not much of a hike to get there.

That's super weird.

Yes. This is bizarre and rude. I wouldn’t use anyone’s en-suite without their express permission and even with their permission m, not when they’re in bed asleep!

That’s very strange

Very weird and rude. especially if she knew where main loo was. Would lock door in future

That is not something I would feel very comfortable doing - or having done to me. Especially not twice in one night!!

No, you are not being unreasonable.

That is weird AF. I would have a word with her.

Well, I’d be a bit pissed off if they used it in the day, let alone the night!

An en-suite is part of the bedroom, and you don’t go into people’s bedrooms without invitation

We’ve had the same thing! Very odd as there is a bathroom in the floor of the guest room. We had to make it clear that our bathroom was out of bounds.
my MiL has also tried to use your en suite and been denied!

Odd. Very odd

I’d be really pissed off.

Even if the family bathroom as at the opposite end of the house I would still have walked to that before entering someones bedroom to use their en suite!

Very odd and rude! What if you'd been naked/shagging your partner/having some "me time", when she came barging in?

I wouldn't use the ensuite of any room that I wasn't staying in.
A friend had a flat with a general bathroom that had only a bath, and her ensuite had a shower - she'd always say 'do use the shower in my room' but felt odd.

It’s very weird and unreasonable. Not that it makes it acceptable, but is she unsteady on her feet and didn’t want to tackle the stairs in the dark? I’m just trying to think of any possible reason she might think it was ok to come in.

That's so bizarre. I'm so awkward staying over at people's houses that I'd worry about using the main bathroom in the night. I'd love to (briefly) be the kind of person who had the balls to walk into someone's en suite and use it.

I wouldn't use someone's ensuite even during the day. At night while they're asleep in bed is unthinkably weird and rude.

At PIL's the en suite has the only shower in the house so everyone uses it. I wouldn't use it when they were still in bed obviously and I HATE using it and having to walk through their bedroom. Yanbu. En suites in general are private.

That is very weird. Wtf makes her think she can do that? Had she been drinking?

So weird!

I’ve stayed at my in-laws many many times over past 15 years and I think I’ve only ever actually been inside their en-suite once, and that was for some specific reason during the day, like mil showing me something.

I’m shuddering at the thought of using it while they were actually in bed!! More than happy to use the downstairs bathroom.

I am super comfortable with my close friends...some would say too close... But even so, I would never use their en-suit at night

Extremely odd. If she stays again tell her firmly not to wake you up and use the other bloody bathroom

When we had friends over once, I went upstairs to get something and met 1 of my friends coming out of my bedroom ensuite.
She said she was just using the toilet. I was surprised and just said there was no one was in main bathroom, so she could have used that. She replied, no she preferred to use the ensuite.
A bit odd, as she had to walk pass the main bathroom to go to my bedroom.
Also a bathroom downstairs but I just assumed 1 of the kids was in that.

It's definitely odd that your friend would go into your room at night while your asleep to use your ensuite.

That is really odd. YANBU.

You're much more likely to wake someone from flushing in the en-suite than by going to the main bathroom. No way in a million years would I do that or think it was ok.

So weird. I don't even like going in friends bedrooms, would never use their en suite day or night.