To not understand the attitude of not doing things with your children because they’ll be too young to remember it…

[StopGrowingPlease]

Birthday parties, holidays, days out, baby classes, Christmas gifts and events ect. There’s always people saying there’s no point because they won’t remember it and I just don’t get it. I don’t remember much at all from when I was younger (I don’t even clearly remember things from a few years ago) but I guess that is probably due to having aphantasia (I can’t see/picture things/people/memories in my mind).
But either way most people don’t really remember much from their childhood but surely that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do fun things with your children??

Why don’t you think baby classes benefit the child? I took ds to them from 3 weeks old and he is such a confident and independent child and compared to toddler in his classes who have only just started there is a noticeable difference in confidence 🤔
They're beneficial in that they're offering appropriate sensory stimulation but mainly nothing more than general life.

Baby groups are mainly for new parents, especially mums, because they're in the postnatal season and it's hugely helpful to get out the house at that stage in life.

That's not a reason not to do them by the way (baby groups can be of mixed quality but it's good to speak with other mums), but I'd file the "baby classes are brilliant for baby because my baby is so much more confident than toddlers who didn't do them" arguments in the same category as "my 1 year old totally benefited by having a balloon arch and hundreds spent on a cake".

@LolaSmiles you seem weirdly triggered by what other people chose to do for birthday parties. You’ve mentioned it like four times already.

There are lots of baby classes which are hugely beneficial for babies development, communication skills and relaxation.

Baby massage - relaxes baby (and mum) is good bonding in early weeks, can help with tummy pain/gas/constipation

Baby signing - both my DS's could sign milk before 6 months. DS1 still uses sign language now which helps as he has a deaf child in his nursery class, I learnt it the signs and he learnt too in a fun environment

Swimming - teaches water safety as well both DS's could turn in the water reach and get to the side by 13 months.

There are many more which are helpful and don't have to cost the earth!
Some I definitely found too loud/full on both of mine hated baby sensory but it was so loud it was just an overload for them

Sissynova
Not triggered. It's the example that comes to mind of things that might be beneficial or nice for young children but that some adults do loads of extra stuff for whilst pretending it's for the child's benefit.

Could equally give the examples of expensive regional events that are no more beneficial to a 2 year old than a day anywhere else (and generally seem to be more about keeping up with the Jones' and getting photos), but would be really good for 5 or 6 year olds.

Baby massage and signing can be done at home via YouTube. I'd say the benefit of an actual class is for the parent to get out of the house and socialise.

But that’s the point… to a 1 year old, a big trip or party isn’t necessarily enjoyable- it’s not for the child.

Baby massage and signing can be done at home via YouTube

Honestly, if you don’t want to go out and do things like that, don’t, but some things just can’t be replicated through a screen.

My DS has been enrolled in swimming lessons since about 4 months (when restrictions eased) and I do honestly think they’ve really benefited him. I’ll be signing the next one up at around six weeks. If nothing else, it guarantees a long nap!

And I have to admit I’m a bit triggered by this topic. I and a load of other people struggled with babies and very young children in lockdown and were told constantly and repeatedly that none of the things we wanted to do so badly were needed: in fact, all we needed was to jump in puddles. Fast forward three years and there are a number of reports of speech and language delays, and maybe children need more than puddle jumping after all. Funny, that.

I liked the idea of baby massage but don't like baby groups so did it myself at home. He's 4 months now and a massage is part of the bedtime routine.

Agree, it’s weird. I did take my kids to Disney when young twice and they loved it. Yes they remembered more when they went last year at 14 & 18 but they definitely enjoyed it more at 6 & 10

Not Disneyland but I want to take my toddler to CBeebies land at Alton Towers because I think he will have a great time and I will enjoy watching him enjoy it and playing with him 🥰 I know he won’t remember it but he also wouldn’t enjoy it at an age where he will 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't have felt confident doing baby massage at home especially with some of the back and leg ones.

Baby signing is most definitely not the same through a screen! We carried on with baby signing with DS1 through lockdown and it most definitely was not the same at all! We did it because it was something to do but it didn't engage him at all. I learnt the signs but he wasn't engaged at all whereas the classes they watch all the adults and the teacher signing anyway. Can definitely say there is a huge difference between in person class and online!

@StopGrowingPlease go for it , when mine were small we always had Merlin Passes and went regularly to Chessington and Thorpe park , which was very child friendly in those days . I have many happy memories of myself and both of my children going on all the rides . We used to go at least twice a week .

This exactly. There is a lot of pressure to be perfect, to ensure your kids have it all but really they do not need to go to Disneyland or a theme park every half term holidays to have a good childhood. Give them lots of love and exposure to life and different experiences, opportunities to try sport, music, drama, art etc so they can find their passion.

I imagine it will depend on the baby. Some will engage either way, some will engage more in a class and some will engage more at home.

Mine does baby signing (and baby yoga) at nursery.

We do fun things with our kids all the time and have done lots of weekends away in the UK and theme parks. We will go to the beach or seaside, parks, adventure playgroundsand softplay. We haven't done any really expensive holidays or taken them abroad because I would like them to remember some of it but also due to cost and covid.We adjusted our expectations when we had our first, with her we realised we couldn't burn the candle at both ends otherwise she'd be overtired and we wouldn't enjoy it either. We decided we'd go out either on the afternoon and keep to her bedtime or vice versa and we kept to that with all of them. Now our older two are at an age where they want yo go to different countries so we've booked to go abroad. Dd2 will be 2 and probably won't remember but how long do you wait?

@Restforabit I agree. I had a lockdown baby, he did't really see anyone except close family for most of the first year of his life. Even when we did manage to get to a class we had masks on. He had delayed speech although I'm not convinced that had anything to do with lockdown.
The biggest issue was he was horrendous to settle into the childminders. He had never really been to someone else's house let alone left with someone, it was so traumatic for him.
I'll never know how much of this was due to his personality or COVID but it seems like a big coincidence.
I take my new baby to lots of activities, he is so used to seeing people and new faces and environments, nothing phases him, people can hold him and he's not bothered. Such a difference. Babies need to be out and about meeting people, it's good for them.

I also think it depends on the parent, if you love Disney and can’t wait to go, then there’s no harm going at all. People often say swimming is a waste of time, but for many it’s the regularity of that slot meaning they take their child regularly and those babies who swim regularly (whether in a class or not) tend to be less frightened of water. Any positive interaction with a baby where they are learning and experiencing life is worth it imo. Equally, plenty of younger children (like my dd ) do these sorts of things because they have an older sibling. Interestingly, she seems to remember walking in the snow in Lapland and also parts of Disney, though she’s not two yet. Don’t know if these memories will stay but she’s a right talker which I know helps memory. She loved every minute of those experiences, so whether she does remember or not doesn’t matter (and my 8yo had a blast and loved sharing it with her!).

@Peppadog

I take my new baby to lots of activities, he is so used to seeing people and new faces and environments, nothing phases him, people can hold him and he's not bothered. Such a difference. Babies need to be out and about meeting people, it's good for them.

I took my baby to a baby group once which was just a parent and baby group, nothing like baby massage or baby sensory. Nothing phases him either and he's also not bothered when anyone holds him.

I did things at home with him or we went for a walk, to visit family etc.

YANBU. It’s so mean spirited and shows a lack of understanding about child development.

By all means don’t do expensive things with your DC, but you can do cheap birthday parties, days out, trips to the beach, walks in the woods etc. My DS has a very good memory for a little boy and has gained loads from outings and excursions - often totally free things like country walks.

Even if they don’t remember it, the sensory pleasure of new sights, smells and sounds is so good for them. Every city and town usually has a free museum, library, multiple playgrounds, park or place of interest. Why wouldn’t you do that??

Go for it, we took our two to Thomas land when they were small - dd was 2 and a half the first time - they don't remember it at all really but they absolutely loved it and enjoy seeing the photos, and I loved it and remember it as a brilliant time :)

Have you ever actually seen anyone say they don't do any of that stuff because the child won't remember it? Every time I've seen it it's about expensive or extravagant things.

Yep I have, and then once the child is older it is “oh they won’t enjoy it, they just like playing on their iPad”. Which of course is true, because they have been glued to it since they were two and never taken to do anything else.

But he's 4 months old
Also of the same baby which is at nursery then no things like that won't phase him as he's used to other babies and nursery teachers.

It's clearly your choice not to have taken your baby to classes but developmentally they are important as has been shown with lockdown babies/preschoolers.

It's not about the doing it's the paying a lot for me

We had a simple 1st birthday I was not going going to hire a bouncy castle, magician and string quartet