About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

* As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell. *

not stopped you starting an incredibly lengthy mumsnet thread about it, has it?

He was a dick but you should have just ignored him.

You were a dick for parking in a blue badge space.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl ignore all the virtuous people saying you shouldn’t have sworn or parked in a disabled bay.

Life is full of what ifs - you were literally saving your child’s life (anaphylaxis without treatment can kill in 15 minutes flat) so in my mind, you did nothing wrong.
That dad was obviously moaning on purpose when you walked past - he also obviously doesn’t understand what ‘triage’ means!

If the dad is till there later, you could always apologise for swearing at him and say your child had anaphylaxis and you were seen so quickly so that she lived. That will make him feel very small and so he should.

As for the parking - don’t worry. A hospital parking fine (if you got one) is worth it for your child’s life!

Out of interest, are all these people calling op a dick for parking in a disabled space parents?

Boggling my mind.

This.
I'd have done the same with a child struggling to breathe.
No time for niceness and politeness when you're scared your kid's airway is closing up.

I’m guessing op that this kind of an incident isn’t one you are unfamiliar with

You're better off ignoring people who act out in A&E. It's a stressful situation and some of the people waiting have mental health issues etc. The staff have to deal with abuse daily and escalating issues just makes their jobs harder.

I think anyone in your situation would have done the same thing (and I’m a blue badge holder by the way, I couldn’t begrudge anyone for parking in a disabled space if it was literally a life and death situation for their child, which you thought it was).

You should have ignored him. Far more dignified to do that.

I would have probably parked in the disabled bay too under the circumstances.

Yes you were unreasonable.
Parents are upset when their children are ill. You were upset about yours, he was upset about his.
Your child had been seen to and stabilised, his had not. Sounds like he was angry with A&E / the wait, rather than you personally.

The reasonable thing to do would have been to keep walking on bu. If anything, a sympathetic expression of solidarity.

YANBU at all.

There are very few acceptable reasons for a non-disabled person parking in a blue badge space, but being in genuine fear for your child's life definitely qualifies IMHO.

Don't worry. Maybe swearing wasn't the best thing to do but understandable in the situation. Those criticising the use of disabled bay and you for stressing have quite obviously never seen full anaphylaxis, in anyone let alone your DD, when your on your own. As an HCP I can tell you the staff were probably more.on your side.than his! I hope you find the cause soon and manage to get epiens etc sorted

Well yes, the other family were rude and ignorant but they're presumably worried about their dd too and you can't really what the matter is with just a glance. You should have just ignored them and complained if they harassed you further.
All that said though, you've had an incredibly tough day and you snapped. It happens, it's over now and you probably won't see these people again so be kind to yourself and let it go.

You should have ignored his passive aggressive mutterings. You made yourself worse than him by swearing at him.

Glad your lassie is doing well!

The fella was a prick and you were full of adrenaline.

My DS has a bluebadge and I'd a million percent someone didn't die than I had to struggle a few more metres.

Let yourself off OP, as PP have pointed out, he'd have not kicked off a man, they never fucking do.

Go get a hot chocolate and some biscuits and massive cuddles with your girl.

You've had a shock, don't let some irrelevant little tool take up headspace. 💐

I'd have parked in a blue badge space in your situation, though, OP.

He swore first, and must have expected you to walk past him quietly like a good little woman. Fuck him, he needs to keep his mouth shut if he doesn't want to get the same back.

I'm not sure how people think you were supposed to get 2 children with one who couldn't breathe without parking inappropriately.

Don't worry about it.

OP has clearly posted well after the event, given she said it happened this morning 🙄

I’d have done and said the same.

YA Not BU about the disabled parking though.

if you had to park in the multi story in our hospital the patient would be possibly dead by the time you find a space and get them inside

I'd have done the same. So glad she's doing okay now.

Doesn't even sound like he was talking to the OP tbh

Me too. I'd have dumped the car where ever to save my child's life. I dont believe any parent who says they wouldn't.

I agree with all of this.