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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my behaviour in A&E?

762 replies

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 23/04/2023 15:26

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge Blush I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

OP posts:
JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 25/04/2023 20:48

ReadersD1gest · 25/04/2023 20:38

God, just like a toddler...

Show quote history

You're clearly more wound up than anyone! 😂😂😂😂

ArmatureDramatics · 25/04/2023 20:59

<steps away from the mad person>

OrwellianTimes · 25/04/2023 21:06

BadNomad · 25/04/2023 19:36

The child wasn't still unstable with anaphylaxis after an hour. She would have been in ICU if that was the case. She was given drugs right away and that stopped it.

You’re an expert on anaphylaxis?

I take you’ve heard of bi-phasic anaphylaxis?

reddragon7 · 25/04/2023 21:26

How on earth are people still debating whether or not she was reasonable to park in the disabled space?!? Surely, they’re just trolls, or people who are downright stupid. I don’t see the argument. It was a life threatening situation, at that moment, priority is saving someone’s life, not looking for a “legal” parking space. Some people are just intentionally looking for drama. FFS

reddragon7 · 25/04/2023 21:31

As far as those arguing that she should have moved her car sooner. Again, use your common sense!!!. I doubt that when she’s by her daughter, who just suffered the anaphylactic shock, the parking space would be even on her mind, and I wouldn’t expect it to be either. Bloody ek, that would be the last thing on your mind whilst you’re by your child who was in a dangerous situation. At least she moved it eventually, and even if she wasn’t planning to while her child was there, I don’t blame her. Her mind would’ve been occupied with other stress. Although, it sounds like she was thinking of doing so anyway from her OP! People are just looking for reasons for silly arguments.

Liamgallaghersparka · 25/04/2023 21:32

All these people saying she should have moved her car earlier have obviously never been in this situation - well I have and I can tell you now, wild horses wouldn't have dragged me out of that hospital until I was 100 per cent sure my child was okay, not only that but I wasn't going to leave them with a bunch of strangers while they were frightened and upset. Also, normal thinking tends to go out of the window when your child has just been minutes away from death..

As for the man in reception, he was the straw that broke the camels back after a very stressful experience.

Anyone questioning any of this really needs to take a long look at themselves.

HartleyTheHarePipkin · 25/04/2023 21:57

Harmonypus · 25/04/2023 18:49

@50percentNamaste50percentGoFuckYourself

Someone bringing their possibly dying child to hospital to save their life is absolutely entitled to use the space for that purpose.

If the op had been there 5mins to put the child into the hands of medical staff and rushed back out to move the car, then is have some sympathy with them, but not when they were sitting around for over an hour before strolling out when a fresh set of clothes was needed for the child.

The priority is to get the child into the hands of the experts, but as soon as that was done, the op should have made it clear they were parked illegally and gone out to move the car, by this point, the patent was surplus to requirements in the immediate case of the child and could have moved the car - simple.

The other thing to remember, that the op made perfectly clear, was that she said the child couldn't breathe, but was screaming, a screaming child is clearly breathing, it's a silent, turning blue, child you need to be more concerned about

‘If the op had been there 5mins to put the child into the hands of medical staff and rushed back out to move the car, then is have some sympathy with them’

If I genuinely thought my child was going to die, I would be freaking out and be glued to their side for as long as I could. I could not then leave my most-loved person with a stranger, however highly trained they were. I simply could not leave them to drive to a new parking place, I just couldn’t. Not in the heat of the moment and panic. No way.

justpushingthrough · 26/04/2023 10:56

Yeah so the first thing on my mind, after my daughter had suffered a life threatening event is to go move my car.

When my own daughter was rushed in with bacterial meningitis I couldn't give a flying fuck if my car was parked inside the hospital reception and it took around 3 days for her to be "stabilized".

OP moved the car when she saw fit and had the opportunity, also, 99% of you lot have never been in a life threatening situation and couldn't possibly say you would drop off your child then be like hold on Doc i just need to move the car.

If anyone ran in with their child not breathing, flung them to the doctor and said i need to move your car they would think your batshit.

Everanewbie · 26/04/2023 11:02

justpushingthrough · 26/04/2023 10:56

Yeah so the first thing on my mind, after my daughter had suffered a life threatening event is to go move my car.

When my own daughter was rushed in with bacterial meningitis I couldn't give a flying fuck if my car was parked inside the hospital reception and it took around 3 days for her to be "stabilized".

OP moved the car when she saw fit and had the opportunity, also, 99% of you lot have never been in a life threatening situation and couldn't possibly say you would drop off your child then be like hold on Doc i just need to move the car.

If anyone ran in with their child not breathing, flung them to the doctor and said i need to move your car they would think your batshit.

Yes, this.

whatkatydid2013 · 26/04/2023 11:10

Uselesslyuseless · 23/04/2023 15:41

You don’t come across well, at all. As a parent, you were extremely worried about your child. As parents, why didn’t you assume this man and his partner were equally as worried about their child? What he said wasn’t even a personal snipe against you, just a moan at how long their child has had to wait for treatment.

It really didn’t mean you needed to comment and swear. If you had their long wait whilst simultaneously being worried about your daughter, would you take kindly someone saying that to you? It’s crass.

Parking in the disabled bay was wrong. What if a disabled person in a life threatening emergency needed that space? It just comes across that you felt your daughter was more important than anyone else. Which is obviously going to be the case for most parents but don’t act shocked when people rightfully call you out.

Oh seriously this is ridiculous. Of course you would just park wherever was closest to the door if someone was struggling to breathe. It doesn't mean you think you are more important just that you know it's critical you are seen right now. You'd have been reasonable in those circumstances to park at the door and run in/ask for help. You moved the car as soon as your child was stabilized.

Lindylou2703 · 26/04/2023 12:00

People here will argue anything. Anyone would have done the same, you did well keeping your cool and getting the kids in the car and to the hospital so quickly. You must have all been terrified. Sorry you went through that and I hope they figure out what caused it soon.

PollyPut · 26/04/2023 12:08

It would have been better for everyone if you had stayed quiet and not said anything. A&E is difficult enough for the doctors - but you can't change what happened.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl do you have liquid piriton/cetrazine at home? I always have it now to administer at the first sign of hives. You may already have been given this advice elsewhere (I haven't read the whole thread)

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