About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

What are you on about?

I've been reading the thread since the start. I think the OP's behaviour was thoroughly unreasonable, but we can all think what we like.

So the OP was unreasonable for putting her DD's life before looking for a different parking space? 😂😂😂

Mumsnet is a strange place sometimes. I bet no one in real life would question OP parking in a BB space, in the same way I never see mums peeing with the door open with thier babies in the pram outside, as is so often the suggestion on here to avoid using accessible bathrooms.

@Hadtochangeitforthis

You think I'm trolling? Think what you like, but I know the truth, as does my child.
Not that good ever get to see it, but his medical record shows the hospital stay.

Since that hospital visit, I've been registered disabled, and I've had to go to hospital for myself and found that some thoughtless, entitled person is blocking the disabled spaces, hence my stand about protecting disabled spaces for those who ARE ACTUALLY ENTITLED TO USE THEM

I'm not sure why you find yourself quite so hilarious enough to merit three emojis. OP was sort of half and half unreasonable on the parking score. In her position, I'd probably have used a blue badge space, but would have told someone I'd done it and would have moved it as soon as I knew my DD was safe. I am in fact disabled and have a blue badge, but I like to think I'd have been reasonably understanding of someone who genuinely thought their child was dying.

My main "OP is BU" is that there is no excuse for swearing at anyone in public, and particularly not in a public place with children around. It was disgusting behaviour in response to a man who was being passive aggressive but who could easily have been ignored.

Ds is a blue badge holder. I don’t think the initial parking was wrong. But the not moving it at first possible chance (by her admission to not wanting her mum to move it) was wrong.

I've got a blue badge and I would bloody well hope a parent of a child suffering anaphylaxis would park in a disabled bay and get that child in front of a medical team a.s.a.p.

It isn't myself who I find hilarious, it's the utterly batshit replies who think the OP is even remotely unreasonable for putting her very sick DD's life before looking for a different parking space. And the OP DID move her car as soon as her DD was safe, she's stated that in her first post. Good grief.

You are being remarkably obtuse. The parking space is not the main issue here. The main issue is whether the OP was being unreasonable to tell a random annoying man, in front of both of their children, to "get fucked".

What's your view on this?

Is her mum insured to drive her car?

That’s the quote I was referring to which does suggest the car could have been moved sooner.

as I said I don’t blame her for dumping the car wherever but when things where stable AND another adult was present then it should have been moved straight away

She also says in her OP that her daughter was stabilised quickly. But she didn't make any attempts to move her car then. Fine. Then her mother came up. But she didn't make any attempt to move her car then either. Nor would she let her mother move the car. In fact, she only moved her car in the end because she had to go out to it anyway for fresh clothes. She was happy to block that disabled bay for as long as her daughter was going to be in there.

The irony and complete lack of self awareness is off the scale. The parking space IS the main issue here. Any parent who'd rather waste valuable time looking for a 'more suitable' parking space when they have a very sick child with them should be getting a visit from Children's Services.

Just for the record, had I been in OP's situation and some self important dickhead had said what he did about me I would have reacted in the same way.

Someone bringing their possibly dying child to hospital to save their life is absolutely entitled to use the space for that purpose.

I cannot believe that people think you should have driven around searching for appropriate parking when your child couldn't BREATHE! FFS I'd have just parked anywhere. Verge, ambulance bay, disabled parking, in the fucking corridor! And normally I am very particular about this stuff. Sometimes things are an emergency. And this was a life or death one that overrides parking rules!

People need to realise it’s not first come first served in A&E. whenever I’ve been in with my health condition I’ve been seen almost immediately as it’s life threatening when kicks off and I don’t go in unless I know it’s that (acute pancreatitis). I’m sure others think why is she getting special treatment but there’s signs everywhere to say that it’s based on priority not arrival order. What else could you do re parking when only adult driving your daughter in.

I don't see what your problem is, really. OP wanted to know if she was BU on two counts. One was swearing, and the other was parking. I said thought she was absolutely BU about swearing and might or might not BU about parking.

Where is the lack irony and lack of self-awareness there?

The man who was swearing passive-aggressively into space was not someone I'd want to invite for supper, but the parking thing would never have become an issue had the OP not told him to "get fucked". Anyone who heard him swearing would have looked at him awkwardly and would have forgotten about the whole business, had the OP not acted like a fishwife. That's where things escalated.

@50percentNamaste50percentGoFuckYourself

Someone bringing their possibly dying child to hospital to save their life is absolutely entitled to use the space for that purpose.

If the op had been there 5mins to put the child into the hands of medical staff and rushed back out to move the car, then is have some sympathy with them, but not when they were sitting around for over an hour before strolling out when a fresh set of clothes was needed for the child.

The priority is to get the child into the hands of the experts, but as soon as that was done, the op should have made it clear they were parked illegally and gone out to move the car, by this point, the patent was surplus to requirements in the immediate case of the child and could have moved the car - simple.

The other thing to remember, that the op made perfectly clear, was that she said the child couldn't breathe, but was screaming, a screaming child is clearly breathing, it's a silent, turning blue, child you need to be more concerned about

Spot on.

Spot on

"You are being remarkably obtuse." - The irony and lack of self awareness.

"OP was sort of half and half unreasonable on the parking score. In her position, I'd probably have used a blue badge space, but would have told someone I'd done it and would have moved it as soon as I knew my DD was safe." - The OP has clearly said she moved her car once her DD was stabilised and under observation.

"I thought she might or might not BU about parking." - "I think the OP's behaviour was thoroughly unreasonable."

🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Exactly.

The OP has clearly said she moved her car once her DD was stabilised and under observation.

No she didn't. She moved her car when the doctor told her to get clothes. Her daughter was stabilised way before that.

I have a blue badge @TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl, and I totally agree that in this instance you were perfectly entitled to park in the disabled space. In your shoes (or car!), I would have driven all the way into reception if one of my DDs was in the same state and there was nowhere stop the car!

Yes she did. She said she knew she needed to re-park it anyway, once her DD was stabilised and under observation.