About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

I've also been the parent who had a child that was turning blue, struggling to breathe, but I didn't park in a disabled parking bay, I parked legally, grabbed my child out of the car and ran into a&e.
There's no excuse for parking in disabled bays when you're not disabled.
Doing what you did do, you could have handed your child to the doctor, explaining that you'd dumped your car illegally and said you'd got to move it, then move the car to a proper place and rush back into the hospital to your child, thus only leaving your car in the disabled bay for a few minutes (even though that's still not really acceptable, but better than what you did do).

@JenWillsiam @CherryCokeFanatic someone in anaphylactic shock should not walk. Ideally they should be laid down on the their backs with legs raised. The OP’s daughter could have died if she had parked further away and asked her daughter to walk.

The OP knew she could get to the hospital faster than an ambulance. She was not unreasonable at all to park there as she was trying to save the life of her child.

This thread has really disturbed me. I didn’t realise people could be so cold to a mother whose daughter was literally in a life or death situation.

When my son nearly died from anaphylaxis I was lucky paramedics got to him so quickly as I don’t live close to a hospital. If driving him had been a quicker option, I would have parked the car as close as I possibly could to get him help.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl I’m so glad your daughter is doing better. She might take a bit of time to be back to 100% as anaphylaxis is exhausting. Be kind to yourself too as you’ve also had one heck of a shock. I hope you find out what caused it soon.

I hope your daughter is ok xxx

Hopefully you will feel some comfort in this. I pulled into the ambulance bay with a patient. I required a wheelchair, I got berated by the patient smokers who were loitering near the a and e doors for parking in the ambulance bay. My patient promptly threw up all over the ambulance bay and the side of the car and I ran in and the lovely nurses came out to collect my patient. I then promptly parked in disabled as I had no purse,phone or cash to get out of the car park and there was no other free spaces in the A and E car park. The reception were not concerned and said it was not a problem. I would never use either of these areas to park in a normal state of mind. I had rung for an ambulance but they declined my request, the patient did need surgery!!!

Absolutely no way was I going anywhere until I knew my DD was ok.

And you REALLY think I should have added 3-4 minutes onto my DD being saved for the sake of being a polite rule follower?

And you REALLY think I should have added 3-4 minutes onto my DD being saved for the sake of being a polite rule follower?

No chance. I would be straight in the closer bay, or haphazardly on the side of the road. And I hope those in the same situation do the same rather than risk their child's life.

You’ve asked AIBU but it’s not a genuine question is it? Everyone who’s told you UABU you’ve argued with, been rude to etc. Sounds like your behaviour in A&E was thoroughly unpleasant and you’ve carried on being unpleasant throughout this thread.

I've also been the parent who had a child that was turning blue, struggling to breathe, but I didn't park in a disabled parking bay, I parked legally, grabbed my child out of the car and ran into a&e.

What would you have done if you couldn't find a legal car parking space quickly / close enough? Would you have driven around with your child getting worse and worse, and risk them dying? I'm sure your child would be very grateful that their parent prioritised parking legally over their life.

Anger, irritability and swearing are remarkably common in the waiting room and the security team (whose business it is) will step in if they assess that they need to, usually when advised by the very experienced reception team. It is absolutely not the business of the doctors, nurses, HCAs etbloodycetera on the other side who are focussed on assessing and treating the sick and injured and couldn’t give one brown shite about who looked funny at whom.

There were no security guards at my local A&E! It is a very small hospital that serves a relatively small population though

Your hospital sounds like a bloody war zone! And you sound so accepting of it as perfectly normal...

Yes and yes,

Nah fuck him.
As if you should drive around looking for a car space while your child is struggling to breathe.
Making sure someone gets their rightful car space is not more important that a child's actual life.
I'm normally fiercely protective of disabled spaces and toilets but this was a serious emergency!
And having a go at a mother that is going through distress, cunt move.

I would have said it under my breath and walked out you don’t know what people are going to do now a days. Glad your child is ok.

Well you shouldn't have retorted but I too would have told him to go F himself in those circumstances. Also get why you parked in the disabled spot in those circumstances

The complete and utter batshittery that you and some others have posted in this thread is both frightening and hilarious at the same time. You make the Daily Mail sound credible. 😂😂😂

@Harmonypus fuck me is there anymore disabled than dead

I know, I can only think they’ve made that up and posted for reaction? literally saying their child was struggling to breath but primary concern was finding the ‘correct parking spot’

As I said, even doing what you did, you should have moved the car as soon as your child was under the care of the doctor, not after an hour.

So yes, I hope you were seen parking there and get a fine in the post.

What if there'd been someone disabled in a similar situation? Why would your child be more entitled to the parking space than a disabled person?

Besides, as others have said, if your child was screaming, there clearly wasn't a problem with their breathing, so not exactly the emergency you seemed to think it was.

@Hadtochangeitforthis

No, I wasn't making anything up, but there were actually normal parking spaces within 100m of the entrance to A&E at the hospital I took my child to.

@shadowchancesassy The op's child wasn't dead was she? Nor was it imminent that they would be within the extra minute it would take to run from a normal space if the child was just screaming.

If you're not breathing, you're not screaming!

I don't understand all the Mn responses

As as manager of a hospital SW team our team would absolutely take itbup with hospital parking of yous gotten an ticket for parking in disabled bay when you'd abandoned your car there as your DD couldn't breathe and you needed to take her without delay into a&e

I'm not saying that disabled blue badge parking spaces should be parked in by non disabled people
Usually but we do occasionally have to make
Sensible life saving decisions

I'm also a disabled person who has a DPB

Anyway, come to my hospital a&e as you wouldn't have to explain, the a&e nurses would either chat to parking enforcement or ask us to. I used to be an a&e SW...

You can't take a risk of death

No one would blame OP, it can all be sorted out later

I used

One of the few posts on AIBU where OP is not BU

@Harmonypus you've got to be trolling surely? I can't take you serious.

@Hadtochangeitforthis defo made up. No one's that daft.