About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

Pulling up and getting out is very much parking - and I don’t believe there are just people there waiting constantly in case you come along.

You haven’t answered what you’d have done at the hospital I went to, with no designated ‘unloading’ bays and the nearest bit of road being a disabled bay.

Yeah, and having your child almost die? Now THAT IS an unpleasant experience.

At the risk of sounding like a child - he started it. If I made a snarky comment out loud about someone nearby it’s my own stupid fault if they call me out on it.

Op welcome to mumsnet, a world ruled by Captain Hindsight and where your child being dangerously ill doesn’t excuse some very mildly ‘incorrect’ behaviour.

Christ do some people get punched in the face by a ghost when they hear swear words or something?! Can’t imagine why else it would upset them so.

That's funny 'cause when someone said "fuck" as you walked past, you went ape shit at him.

I really don't understand all these comments about where OP parked? Like seriously anyone who felt there child is dying would park anywhere and not care about it and anyone who says in that situation they would be driving round looking for a suitable place to park is lying. It was an emergency and anyone would have done it ( including myself) and it's not like OP purposely stayed in the disabled bay, she got her child the care she needed and when her child was stable she went back out and moved her car, she didn't just stay there more than she needed to so I don't see the issue as it was an emergency and anyone in the same position would absolutely react the same.

OP I wouldn't give this anymore thought as you did what you needed too for your child, you realise you've done wrong swearing at the other parent but you was obviously upset, worried and in shock about your dd which is also completely understandable and you obviously wasn't in the right head space at that moment if time and not thinking clearly. Honestly any one of us with a child would have reacted and done the same.

And I’m proud of you for telling him to go fuck himself, frankly.

I hardly went apeshit.

He made a snarky comment about, in my view at the time, my DD being seen first when she was in a life or death situation. It wasn’t just someone muttering ‘fuck’.

You shouldn’t have sworn, but having a kid with a severe nut allergy I can tell you I probably wouldn’t have acted/reacted any differently.

And I totally would have used a disabled space in such a situation. Fine me and tow my car if you must. Unless you’ve seen your kid having anaphylaxis you don’t understand how terrifying and urgent that is.

If you had blue lights on your car you could have parked it wherever you wanted. You made absolutely the right choice taking your DD in rather than wait for an ambulance and you parked as closely as you could to the resus doors. Nowt wrong with that and if you picked up a fine I’m sure you’d have been happy to pay it.
The doctor had no business getting involved, it has nothing to do with the care your DD received and is therefore nothing to do with them.
I have a lot of sympathy for those in ED waiting rooms as they are awful places charged with all the wrong emotions, and it’s galling to see people apparently getting better treatment when you have no idea what’s going on, how long you’ll have to wait or what the outcome will be, all whilst sitting on the world’s shittiest chairs. His words were likely more for his own family or the reception team than they were for you. Sounds like a turd though.
Disclaimer - I’m an ED doc.

No just sick of all you aggressive scumbags thinking it’s ok to threaten people and act like the world owes you something.

"Aggressive scumbags". Fucking hell. This thread gets more and more batshit by the minute! 😂😂😂

The doctor had no business getting involved, it has nothing to do with the care your DD received and is therefore nothing to do with them
Scrapping in a waiting room full of sick people is somebody's business, surely??
Do you really believe it should have gone unremarked?

To be honest you were stressed and worried, and in a situation like that it's very easy to snap. I would have too. If you were a little inconvenienced by a queue jumper in the post office I'd say differently, but this was pretty intense. Sounds like the guy was frustrated due to his situation. It's happened now so don't dwell on it.

"Scrapping". There's another one! 😂😂😂

Another what, Johnny? You're like a bloody sea lion, clapping away in the background there 😬

Have you posted on the correct thread?! Who made a threat?

I know, some people are such massive drama llamas!

Fucking hell you really are unpleasant.

Sometimes in life you get people who have been in relatable situations and want to help. Like many on this thread. And some who have been in relatable situations, and are REALLY annoyed that other people experience those situations too.

I think one poster on this thread is very cross they aren’t the only one who’s rushed to hospital with their child, the one-upping about who’s had the worser experience is just plain weird.

Including the bloke in A & E who was told to get fucked, I suppose? He should have sucked it up and not taken it to heart...
You said yourself you were a tit for swearing at him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Literally amazed at the amount of people who think parking in a disabled bay when someone’s life is at risk is wrong. Would love to see what they’d do in the same situation!

I did.

But I’m not making up tall tales or exaggerating someone else‘a situation. That’s the difference.

The pathetic comment by the man I'd have just ignored. I'd never comment on someone being seen quicker than us in A&E, just grateful to have not had an emergency.

The parking in a disabled bay, of course you weren't wrong. Your daughter could have died had you not acted so quickly.

Hope they can get to the bottom of what happened to your daughter.
Also, hope you're okay, the realisation of what could have happened will probably hit you when you least expect it.