About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

Harsh but essentially true. If your child is in that level of danger you will do whatever you need to do for them to be okay, other people wouldn’t cross my mind at all

It seems like you don't care about a child with a life threatening situation.

You'd honestly expect OP to park further away and carry her child in?

Jesus!

OP, no you shouldn't have sworn but the pressure was immense for you.

Why didn't you move your car earlier then? Or get your mum to move it.

In this situation, if you can park somewhere without immediately endangering traffic or human life, you park there. Disabled or not disabled. And get the patient in asap.

I work in a hospital. We are not surrounded by little helpers waiting to collect dying kids from cars. No valet service either. The parking is all far away, disabled and not disabled; it’s largely London street parking. In a crisis you park where you can and run in.

There are v few emergencies like this. Not even heart attacks or strokes. That’s why we have annual training in ‘CPR and anaphylaxis’. Because the latter is a serious emergency. Seconds cost lives.

Last thing on her mind, don’t be ridiculous.

Because I wanted to stay with my DD whilst she settled. I also had my son with me who was worried for his sister, having seen her experiencing anaphylaxis. I wouldn’t let my mum drive the kid’s cosy coupe let alone my car.

You should have more empathy then for the Op. This is her first time in this situation. You don’t know her hospital layout.

Maybe she will have a different emergency action plan should this god forbid happen again. Most people go through life thinking this won’t happen to them. Give her a break.

This is where the parking does become a bit more unreasonable

aa soon as there was another adult one should have nipped to move it and free up the space

You could've moved your car at the earliest opportunity. I have s child with poor mobility and other issues which means getting a blue badge space is vital. The hospital clearly felt yours needed to be seen first but actually once your in hospital, unless you're not breathing at all or bleeding heavily, you're ok to wait. It must have been really difficult for this man knowing his child is waiting and seeing yours go first. Being kind would have been the nicest approach here, however unreasonable you felt he was being.

Her child could have died! Jesus Christ! There are blue badge holders on here that are in full agreement with what she did under those circumstances. And I bet you would have done the very same were it your child!

This says it all really doesn’t it. Literally couldn’t park anywhere else but had her mum with her.

Ph he’s just be so terrible for him knowing his child wasn’t unable to breathe 🙄 poor Nigel.

Why would I be kind to someone making shitty, snippy comments about me? I may concede that I should have ignored it but why the fuck would I ‘be kind’

Eh?? My mum turned up after I rang her and probably only 5-10 minutes before I moved my car. She’s yet to find a way to teleport to me (try as she bloody might) so not sure why you thought I ‘had her with me’ or when?

And this is why you got called out. Because you trotted out of A&E with two kids and your mum with your car parked in a disabled bay. Utterly gross. The car should have been moved. But no you had mum, extra kid and time to yell and swear at someone. And you think that’s comparable to handing your child over in an ambulance bay. Unbelievable.

Wow how were you raised that you tell a random stranger to get fucked. Can’t believe people think it’s ok to swear at others. Do you have any decorum? Imagine how your children will turn out. You sound like an utter chav.

i am glad your daughter is ok but seriously.

And no I couldn’t park anywhere else whilst my DD was in an emergency situation.

Tbh I’d have reacted in the same way as I can’t help myself when upset. I would also have parked there. It was an emergency and you thought your child might die. His clearly wasn’t dying as she was sitting on her phone and would have been triaged!

I would have reacted exactly the same way. YANBU.

I ‘trotted out’ alone actually - and you accuse me of being unable to read.

Should I have left my 6yo at home then? Or told mum not to come because I parked in a disabled bay?! I’m not sure what you’re getting at TBH.

You are utterly determined to make out that anaphylaxis isn’t that bad - which makes me think you have no idea what it actually is but I assure you that despite having my son with me it WAS a life and death situation.

Im getting ‘called out’ by someone who as it turns out parks in ambulance bays so I can’t say I’m too upset.

Christ do some people get punched in the face by a ghost when they hear swear words or something?! Can’t imagine why else it would upset them so.

She was under a massive amount of stress, her child could have died, this bloke was being a twat, when you are under that level of stress the smallest thing can tip you over the edge.
I have been in this situation myself, maybe you need to look at yourself, calling people you've never met 'chavs' when you've probably never been in this kind of stressful situation. Honestly, some bloody folks on here!

Also @JenWillsiam what exactly is ‘utterly gross’? That I went to hospital? That I had my son with me? That I called my mum for support? What is the gross bit?

Would have done the same. If he was saying that to his daughter and didn't think you could hear, your response was a bit out of line. If he said it purposely so you could hear and to make you feel bad then yes he needed to hear some home truths. I've sat in a walk in centre all day with my DS I was frustrated that people were being seen before us but they needed care sooner than us so I would have never said anything to make them feel bad.

Also don't beat yourself up, you went through emotions that day! No body can blame you for saying something out of character. Glad your daughter is OK:)

Again I have not parked. There is a difference.

as determined by the fact that you have no stopping bays - never used - and bays where you are permitted to offload. These are the ones they use.

I am sorry you cannot grasp the difference between unloading and parking.

You can't imagine why being told to get fucked by a complete stranger is an unpleasant experience? Your life must be one long aggressive nightmare (for all around you), if this is acceptable behaviour in your eyes.