About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

you parked and went in with your child. Imagine the urgency when you don’t have time to even park and you don’t go in with your child.

What did you expect me to do? Where I am if you pulled up and shouted ‘help’ no one would hear you because that’s not how the layout is. The A&E windows are high up, it’s next to reception but the car park isn’t visible from A&E. short of smashing through the walls and parking in A&E there was no better way for me to pull up.

I actually think I may have reached peak MN.

It’s unreasonable to park in a disabled bay when your child is dying and you should park miles away. This is being told by posters who think it’s ok for THEM to park in ambulances bays because apparently ‘pulling up’ is a whole different category of acceptable 😂😂

Unfortunately, @TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl you're wasting your time and energy. The level of hypocrisy and batshittery in this thread is off the scale. Just be assured you were definitely NOT being unreasonable.

As I’ve just said if there was literally nowhere else I would dump it, take them in and go back and move it. I would not leave it there once they were checked in no. I would always move the car as soon as they are in the care of HCP’s. Always.

When you stare at someone walking away then loudly proclaim to your wife about that very person, how the hell is that not directed at the person just because you technically said it to your wife.

If you were walking down the street and someone said to their husband “Wow that woman right there is fucking ugly” is it not directed at you?

Yep! What concerns me is these 'individuals' are allowed to vote! 😨

I literally said in my comment that you’ve replied to if there was nowhere else I would pull in, hand over child and then move it. I would not leave it there like you did.

Both of you ideally shouldn’t have sworn in a and e. Especially him. It creates a horrid environment for staff and patients.

And you don’t know what was going on with the girl. She may have been experiencing MH symptoms and not been ok. Though her life didn’t seem to be immediately at risk unlike your little one.

But you absolutely needed that disabled space.

I am so happy your child is safe. And well done. You saved her life x

Agree, I have a child with a blue badge and can’t say I’d be remotely bothered by you using a space for a life threatening situation. If people are missing appointments due to one person parking in a spot then they need to manage their time better. Honestly some people on here can you imagine entering the hospital and telling them she stopped breathing 10 minutes ago but because you couldn’t find a spot (even though disabled were empty) you kept on driving round. And the reality is you didn’t know how the situation turned out so don’t give it a second thought.

FYI I live down the road from a hospital and have driven there in emergencies, the ambulance is rarely closer than I am to the hospital so if my options are to wait anything over 5 minutes or drive the 2, I drive the 2 minutes. A poster said but the ambulance is equipped with life saving equipment….so is the hospital?

I don't think hospitals work like that, any hospital I've been to with a young child they have expected me to be there to answer questions, comfort child etc.

That’s nice. Where I am there is ambulance bay, reception and disabled bays in front of reception then parking spaces miles away. There is no magical A&E person waiting outside ready to accept emergencies, you have to go in, walk past reception and turn right. So what would you do if you came to this hospital? Still wouldn’t park in disabled bays?

Pulling up and an emergency worker removing your child and then going to park is not the same as leaving your car parked for a prolonged period.

If the layout of your hospital is weird and you don’t have emergency transfer or you aren’t familiar with the layout and therefore thought the disabled space was closest and you didn’t want to risk going elsewhere IF you had gone back and moved it as soon as she was with the doctors fine. But you didn’t. You left it there for an unnecessarily long period of time and prevented others from accessing. This is NOT something I’ve ever done and not something I would do. It’s one thing to do a fast drop in an emergency, it’s another to prevent access for hours.

Yes you can't guarantee you will get a disabled space because other disabled people will also need them. I've often had to let DH out and then drive round and round to get a space because all the disabled spaces were taken with blue badges displayed.

Not in rescuss they don’t. You’re lucky if you’re let in. Name and very very fast history is what they need.

Imagine handing over and leaving your potentially dying kid in order to park properly.

I am one of life’s rule-abiders but really 🤯

Where would you dump it?

Of course anyone is going to park where they can when their child's life is in danger and you can't just drop them in A&E and leave them, doctors will be asking questions about medical history, when did she eat, what did she eat, has it happened before and a hundred and one other things.

You did nothing wrong.

Whatever the issues, the bit I don't understand is why you came on here to ask AIBU when you clearly have decided that you aren't. I just don't see the point!

Are you reading my comments? I’ve answered several times now.

Not park properly. Not prevent access. Not the same thing.

Well even at ‘handing over’ point I wanted to stay to check she was ok and everything had calmed down. More important to make sure she could breathe properly again than to be a good citizen.

Yes I'm a rule follower as well and I would not risk my child's life for a parking space and I wouldn't abandon my critically sick child in case someone else wants a parking space.

Parking less of an issue than aggression tbh.

Yes exactly - they wanted to know how old she was, what had happened, what she’d eaten, what she’d drank, I had to answer all sorts.