About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

You parked further away on purpose when your child was in anaphylactic shock? Really?

If someone has time to check if every car has a blue badge they don’t need care within seconds. If the disabled bays were all full yesterday I’d have parked behind a car or in the ambulance bay (though I wouldnt have blocked an ambulance in)

As a PP he was very much talking to me through the medium of his poor wife. Facing his wife while he spoke at me doesn’t make it any less direct

Are you actually serious?

PetulaDark · Yesterday 15:49
YABU, always, to park in a disabled bay. It’s a hospital so OBVIOUSLY there will be a lot of disabled people coming for appointments. Maybe someone had to miss their appointment or was seriously inconvenienced because they couldn’t park near enough or get their wheelchair out of their car.
I know you were in a difficult and scary situation but it just doesn’t excuse it. Did you consider that there might have been a disabled person in a similar situation to you who also needed the space?

I cannot believe the smug self righteousness of those saying that regardless of her daughter being in anaphylactic shock (the FIRST one), the OP should not have parked in the Disabled Bay. Come on ...what parent would not be panicking in that situation for goodness sake!! Knowing what MIGHT happen with anaphylactic shock. A bit of empathy and understanding of spur of the moment fear would not go amiss

And I am disabled by the way!!!!

Absolutely.

Whatever. You are determined to misunderstand me. I am sorry you are constantly in hospital with your child, I am sorry people eye roll you and make snidey comments. I hope your child gets better and you get a break from the hospital visits. You are a mother too and I know you are scared for your child like I was scared for mine. That feeling sucks. I know the comments and eye rolls must suck too. We all just want the best for our children and to save them and sometimes people lose their shit because they are breaking...just like you are.
I am already broken. I am so sorry I brought I commented here today. I am so sorry I mentioned my beautiful girl trying to explain that you never know what is going on in another family's life. I feel like a fucking idiot now trying to explain and I'm done.

Any parent saying they wouldn't park in a disabled bay in your situation absolutely does not understand anaphylaxis because there is NO WAY any parent would drive around looking for a parking space while their child's airways closes up.

When my Dd had her overdose I would have parked in the foyer if needs be. Etiquette and rights don’t trump a dead child.

He wasn't even looking at you? What even is it that you think he was blaming/accusing you of? You really think he saw your non-breathing daughter and thought his daughter should have been seen first? You're being ridiculous. How do you get through life with that level of paranoia thinking every comment is a personal attack on you.

They didn’t check. They knew I was at the hospital and text me to say they had dumped their car in the road and gone into A&E and could I move it. I checked when I came back and was pleased to see all cars had been ticketed.

when my child was seizing I didn’t even try and park. I pulled up and ran in and got emergency team out there to deal with her. I then moved my car.

on another emergency I pulled into the ambulance bay. Same thing. They came out and started work on them in the car.

since then I’ve never actually driven them because it always involves admission and stress and because the reason you shouldn’t drive yourself is because if you’re driving and they deteriorate you cannot support. So I either get someone else to drive, call an ambulance and wait or if someone is there they drive. All depends on the nature of the emergency.

when my child was seizing I didn’t even try and park. I pulled up and ran in and got emergency team out there to deal with her. I then moved my car.

@JenWillsiam where did you ’pull up’ then?? Because unless it was an accessible bay you’re a massive hypocrite

on another emergency I pulled into the ambulance bay. Same thing.

HANG ON

Youre saying I shouldn’t have parked in a disabled bay with my daughter being unable to breathe…but YOU once parked in an ambulance bay?!

Do you think the world revolves round you or something?

Well apparently it’s not fine for other parents to park in a disabled bay but they’re Special so can park in the actual ambulance bay (because presumably that’s better?!)

OP don't give this anymore thought. You did what was right at the time. I hope you daughter feel better and hope they find the course. Must have been very scary.

Literally the front door. And was there for minutes while they came and grabbed her. No access was blocked as it’s two lanes and cars could drive round. I had pulled off in under 5 minutes, I did not park or even turn off the engine.

Thank you.

TBH if I saw Angry Man in the street now I’d probably ask him if he did get fucked after all 🤣 not really I’d stop and ask after his DD. If nothing else this thread has taught me that people are still experiencing hell just because it’s not MY level of hell.

@rubadubdubascrubinahottub sorry about your DD, I will confess I didn’t even think that this other girl may have been having MH issues, I confess I jumped to “there’s nothing wrong with her” in my stressed and grumpy state of mind. I will think twice next time, and I appreciate your posts here

I just want to say I have a blue badge, but the disabled parking was further away than the ambulance bays. My daughters airways were compromised. If anyone has been in this position you’d do anything, believe me.

I’ve never seen an A&E that has dirve through lanes on front of it, it’s usually ext to an ambulance bay - but how on earth is what you do different to parking in a disabled bay?!

Where did I say I parked? Again it was minutes - if that. They come out and grab them and I move the car. I certainly don’t have time to assess parking situations and they weren’t taken through reception.

apart from the time when they started to work on them in the car when they told me to stay put so I did. In the drivers seat.

you parked and went in with your child. Imagine the urgency when you don’t have time to even park and you don’t go in with your child. My child had to be seen. They recognise that. And they are. Never once has anyone told me off. If it’s that urgent parents in my shoes know the score.

if there really was NOWHERE else. Literally nowhere. I would possibly dump car in disabled bay, take her in and give her to the doctors and then go back and move my car immediately. I absolutely would not leave my car for anymore than minutes in a place that it should not be if it prevented access. And I have never, ever, left my car parked anywhere.

. It wasn't direct. He wasn't even looking at you.
For clarity, all the directness came from you, when you told someone speaking to their wife to get fucked. That's direct, alright.

@rubadubdubascrubinahottub sorry about your DD, I will confess I didn’t even think that this other girl may have been having MH issues, I confess I jumped to “there’s nothing wrong with her” in my stressed and grumpy state of mind. I will think twice next time, and I appreciate your posts here

It's so understandable. We all are just trying to save our kids. Thank you for being so nice. I am genuinely delighted that your daughter is ok and is busy away playing, that made me smile. I can imagine your terror. I would put it at the back of my mind now and forget about, cuddle your little one and get some rest, that type of stress will floor you.

Not sure what to say. Watford does 🤷‍♀️.

it has no parking at all immediately in front of it. Including disabled. All parking is about a 3 minute walk minimum for short stay and 5 minute plus for long stay. You’re expected to use short stay. Check in. Driver go and move car.

Similarly with lister. Emergency drop off only. No parking. So you would have had to drop her and leave.

Not in the slightest bit unreasonable. When my daughter was two, I got a call at work saying that she’d had a life threatening accident and the air ambulance had been called. I immediately got up and ran straight down the corridor and out the office door, and if I hadn’t passed the one other person who was at a desk, I would have left without anyone knowing that I had even gone. In that moment, and for the hours following, absolutely nothing else mattered apart from my daughter’s welfare (she’s 13 now, and fine, btw).

YANBU. And I wonder if he would have been so vocal if you happened to be a bloke, especially a large one. Men like this need an unexpected putting back in their place by a woman now and again. The swearing was a result of the stressful situation you found yourself in.

I certainly don’t have time to assess parking situations

But you expected me to?

For clarity - there is nowhere except ambulance bays to ‘drive up to’ in my local A&E and shout for someone. And the doors from the ambulance bay are not accessible to the public . the A&E is next to reception, and the disabled bays are directly in front of the reception. So if your stance is ‘pull up as close as possible’ you’d have done exactly what I did.

But for arguments sake - if your child was in anaphylactic shock, there was no way you could pull up to the door, and the accessible spaces are a long way away - would you park in disabled if it was the closest space.