About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

Aggressive twat goes around looking for a fight then gets the sulks when he finds one, lol
Op was the one that started the fight. He wasn't talking to her.

Meh, it's easy to say Yabu. But in reality, you had a shock and weren't thinking straight. When it comes to our kids, we panic and logical thinking goes out the window.
I would've apologised to the doctors as you did but not regretted telling that man where to go. It's not first come first served and your daughter was right to be taken in immediately.

Whilst he wasn’t strictly talking to me my initial fury came from the perception that he was annoyed that my DD got seen so quickly.

I see now it wasn’t about me or DD (who BTW he definitely saw in anaphylaxis and being hurried through while she struggled to breath) but about his annoyance at having to wait.

I agree with a PP that this kind of PA nonsense is just as bad as saying it to someone’s face though.

I know how scary it is having a child in a life threatening condition,I went throughout myself a few weeks ago so I understand that you were irate but but,you have no idea why he we there ,just because everything looked ok ,just l let it go now thankfully your daughters home and wel!.

The OP was definitely not unreasonable about parking in a disabled bay.

He should have been reprimanded for swearing loudly in A&E and acting like a self entitled prick. Why is that so difficult to understand?

100% spot on.

Not read the whole thread, but seriously read enough.

He swore - not directly at you, but passive aggressively at you. You were beyond stressed and swore back, I don't blame you.

I'm totally incredulous that anyone thinks you are unreasonable for using the disabled bay - that's batshit... do people know what anaphalaxysis is? She drove because she thought an ambulance would be too late to save her daughter. I would abandon my car anywhere to save anyone I cared about those seconds could have been the difference between life and death. I really would like to know what those who say you shouldn't have used the disable bay would have done.

I can only assume they're trolling because no decent human being in their right mind would have that view point.

@Flamingogirl08 I think you are right.

I think they actually mean it, even though its clearly batshit.

If my daughter was in imminent danger of death (and she has been, so I know of what I speak) I wouldn't just park in an accessible baby. I'd park in a ambulance bay, across a school crossing, hell I'd drive right into A&E and park on that stupid gits face.
I honestly wouldn't think twice about where I'd park, and if you ever saw your child turning blue and moments from death, neither would you.

OP is definitely not unreasonable to park in the disabled bay! Anyone else would do the exact same in this situation.

The swearing etc wasn't necessary, for either of them.

You definitely should not have parked in the disabled bay

Also swearing at a fellow stressed patinar isn't cool.

I understand why you did both.

Move on

At this point I am really going to need an explanation as to why a mother who thinks her child may die in the next few minutes shouldn't park in the disabled bay, because my mind is blown with these comments.

This x1000

Yes, we really do need to know why you think that a woman should drive for another few minutes with her possibly dying child and then have to carry her from further away?

Do explain how taking longer than necessary to get help for a child would be better than temporarily parking in the wrong spot?

Parking (temporarily) in the blue badge space to get your daughter the urgent medical treatment she needed = fine. If you'd got a ticket you'd have had to pay it, but you probably wouldn't care as your priority was clearly getting your daughter seen quickly. You moved the car when you could.

Swearing at the annoying angry man = not your finest moment. Ignoring him would have been taking the higher ground. Emotions are raised in A&E, he probably wasn't behaving his best either. It's understandable that you reacted, but would try and not let other people rile me much in future.

Being "told off" by the medical staff, that would be a bit embarrassing really. I'd apologise and try to put it all behind me.

For calling the man out. No. Although you could have done it better.

for parking in a disabled bay yes. You were.

Stop troll hunting; you are weirdly over invested in op's thread.

@JenWillsiam Genuine question - if your child was struggling to breath and coming up in hives, and getting worse by the second, would you really park further away than you had to?

I find it amazing that people get so irate about the use of a word many of us hear every day. It does not seem to matter how rude or unreasonable a person is being, if a woman swears in response it's jumped on as being truly shocking and offensive. I say woman because of course that seems to make it doubly worse. I told a man who was behaving horribly in a car park to bugger off and he behaved as if I'd physically assaulted him. As for the doctor telling you off for swearing in A&E, I would have thought he had more serious issues to deal with. I doubt I'd have done the same as you because I'm usually a coward but I don't think you were unreasonable at all.

Incidentally, has your daughter had Covid recently? My DS, who is a adult, had his first anaphylaxic shock 3 weeks after covid and has had another since. He has had numerous tests and so far no result. I am wondering if covid may cause a sensitivity that wasn't there before.

I’m the parent of an immuno compromised child who is frequently sent to A&E. If they genuinely couldn’t breathe I would ring an ambulance.

most hospitals have short stay and drop off that are close to A&E. disabled bays rarely are.

I think the mitigating circumstances are everything here. And if your daughter was struggling to breathe with anaphylactic shock you needed that disabled bay to get here there as quickly as possible.

It's so stressful for everyone, I guess you blew up which isn't ideal, but if you'd told me the full story I'd have apologized rather than complaining

You should not have parked in the disabled space