About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

I’ve had almost exactly the same (person making almost identical comment at hospital) and I didn’t swear but I did answer quite confrontationally. They’re daft if they think A&E works by waiting time not level of crisis.

you were not unreasonable, he was a massive twat. My DD has life threatening allergies, and in those circumstances I would have told him to get fucked too.

DD now fast asleep and looking exhausted.

No idea how I’m gonna sleep with her next to me tonight

You could just have ignored him.

You were both as bad as each other really.

Fuck me!! Have you ever had a child almost die because they couldn't breathe?? Obviously not. Get off your bloody high horse!

How scary and I hope you get some answers as to what caused it. You reacted under extremely stressful circumstances and did nothing wrong. As for parking in the wrong bay, don't stress about it. I would have done the same, it's over and done with now. Just focus on your dd and she is ok soon.

I think you both behaved badly, but in stressful situations, and you should have moved your car as soon as your child was stable

I also would have told him to get fucked and I would have dumped my car anywhere if my child was having anaphylaxis. Yanbu!

She did! 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well our local A&E is like a stabby armageddon on the best of days! I certainly wouldn't be kicking off at anyone in there.

I hope your daughter is ok op.

I wonder if the man in question would have been so loud and judgey if it had been your husband rushing her through? Probably not.

Yeah in an ideal world you probably would have either ignored him or responded in a more dignified way. But yanbu because sometimes people like this simply need to be told to fuck off.

People are morons, my daughter had anaphylaxis as a baby, whilst in the ambulance being worked on, someone knocked on the ambulance door and asked them to move. The paramedic said said it happens all the time 🙄

To all the posters reprimanding OP for not calling an ambulance, do you live in some magical corner of the UK where there are ambulances just a few minutes around the corner? For category 1 calls the average ambulance wait ranges from 9 to 20 minutes. In anaphylactic shock an airway can close up in less than 9 minutes so she absolutely did the right thing driving to the A&E.

Glad to hear she’s safe and stable.

Hi have done the same OP, when my son was experiencing anaphylaxis. There wasn't time to wait for an ambulance, it was a short drive, and I parked outside A&E, not even in a space. I moved it as soon as I was able, and no one minded.

It's a scary thing, forget about the man, look after yourself, and also your Dd.

Glad to hear she's settled OP. Hope you manage to get some rest.

For the record I don't think you were BU. Definitely not for the parking anyway. The response to grumpy guy wasn't ideal but not worth losing sleep over. He may not have been talking to you directly but I highly suspect he was intending you to hear so he got what he wanted really!

Wtaf is wrong with people on here I would literally die for my children and people on here won't even park in a disabled space for there's. Op I'm glad to hear your child is doing better, it must of been absolutely terrifying

Meh, I hate people who do the passive aggressive "talking about you, hoping you hear and feel embarrassed" thing.

I confronted a group of women who did it to me once. I think that type all deserve a nasty response from the people they're too scared to say anything to, but wish to upset anyway.

This in spades.
He was a twat but the moment you start hollering profanities like a fish wife you stoop right down to his level.

Well, had you wasted time parking elsewhere and your daughter had died or suffered serious complications then it wouldn't have been a reasonable cost for not parking in a disabled bay.

I think sometimes these people need a taste of their own medicine. Just like how I don't generally believe violence is usually a good solution, but do think a bloody nose is sometimes the best deterrent for a bully who has been hitting other kids.

I think in this situation it’s 100% fine that she parked in a disabled bay. Honestly if she’d screeched to a halt across three spaces it would have been fine.

Any other time? No. Life threatening emergency? Yeah.

I don’t know, I think a lot of these men think they can say what they like to women. Maybe it’s time a few more of us told them where to stick it.

They would though - they just want to stick it to the OP or virtue signal themselves to the moon.

You and no one with you was disabled. Shame, shame, shame on you for taking a disabled space.
Your reactions seem rather uncouth and that’s the most gentle response I can summon.

I'd say that he was being unreasonable for not understanding how a triage system works but I think where kids are involved people get stressed and it brings out the worst in the best of us. I'd have a 5 minute funeral and then move past it. Sure it wasn't your finest moment but it was an exceptional moment and you had very genuine reason to be extremely concerned about your dd.

And now imagine for a couple of seconds, what you would have done in place of the OP 🤔.
Imagine your child has anaphylaxis and you know they could literally die within 15 mins. You’re saying you wouldn’t have parked in the disabled space - rubbish! The OP has had a really shit day where her DD was fighting to breathe from an allergic reaction and all you’re bothered about was shaming her into using a space for disabled people.

Perhaps you also didn’t read the comment by a lady who is disabled up thread - she said she wouldn’t care a jot if a parent parked there to get their dying child into hospital faster!