About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

Op, I don’t blame you for snapping at him. You were likely in shock from what had just happened.

Anaphylaxis can kill in minutes. People experiencing anaphylaxis are not supposed to walk (should be laid down) so parking in a disabled bay which minimised the walk could well have helped save her life. Also, every second counts and there is no way a walk across a car park should ever been considered a safe option.

I hope those berating the OP never have to experience the the utter terror you feel when watching your child in anaphylactic shock.

Honestly, how dare he complain about your language when he said the exact same word?

I used to feel frustrated like that in a&e when I was about 10. Then I grew up and realised that some people need to be seen very quickly, and thank God I'm not one of those poor souls.

As for the disabled bays, I TOTALLY get how difficult it is for disabled people when there are no bays free. But at a&e I do wish there was an emergency drop off zone. Difficult.

OP some people on here could do with telling where to go never mind the idiot in the hospital.

I'm glad all is settled now and hope you are feeling much better too.

If my child was in a life threatening situation damn right would i be dumping the car anywhere and getting them treated asap.

A blue badge spot isn't the ideal parking choice however despite what some posters think it is better then your child dying whilst you hunt for a spot and pay for parking.

I would like to see what they would do if it was their own child.

As for driving to the hospital - my DF for me to hospital in 11 minutes when I had an emergency... 999 operator had advised a 24 minute wait... I'm bloody sure I'm pleased he took me.

Oh give over 😂😂

The bloke shouldn't have dished it out if he couldn't take it.

You did nothing wrong OP. I would've piped up too. Ignore the holier than thou who stay silent and never stand up for themselves or lose their rags.
It's so far from the real world.

More interesting to hear the version of completely objective bystanders

themselves highly stressed and anxious and just what they need…. Two parents scrapping with each other straight out of an episode of Eastenders (or Shameless more like) and swearing and shouting in front of their poorly children.

Thoughtless of him. Thoughtless of the OP

What do you mean going out her way to sort every one out??
She reacted to someone spouting shit at her.

Stop making stuff up and reading things that aren't there.

Agree. Nobody comes out of this well at all

She reacted to someone spouting shit at her.
Not at her, no.

YANBU

I don’t think anyone can judge you for your reaction after the trauma you were going through. You are human and a mum worried for her child - I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Yeah you probably shouldn’t have sworn but who’s going to be at their best after what you’ve just been through? Don’t sweat it, be kind to yourself and glad your DD’s ok xx

Ffs😡 there are always loads of empty disabled spaces, besides it was neither his or the Dr’s business where you parked

A&E waiting rooms can be fraught with people waiting long times and having no understanding of how clinical prioritisation happens. On the other end of the spectrum, parents like yourself are understandably stressed. So people are very easily triggered. The best response would have been none to that man, but you're human and snapped, I probably would have done the same and with expletives!

Tbh if I were that Dr I would not have bothered saying anything to you at all. The Dr knows why you are there, and how stressed/ worried you are. I would not give it the energy to think about it.

Correct.

Look, none of us exactly covered ourselves in glory here did we. I admit that.

Ignore the holier than thou who stay silent and never stand up for themselves or lose their rags.
It's so far from the real world

@TescoFinestMyArse People "losing their rags" and "standing up for themselves" by swearing at one another are not part of the real world I inhabit, thank goodness.

YANBU in any of your actions OP. I've had the exact same experience with DD having anaphylaxis but I didn't know what it was at the time as she'd never had it before and I'd no experience at all with someone having it. So I panicked and put her in the car with DH driving us the 6 minutes to the hospital. I now know that that wasn't my best idea and I should have rang an ambulance straight away but in my mind by the time the ambilance made it here I knew we would have been at the hospital in less time and to be honest I wasn't thinking straight. Once we got to A&E there was a queue of about 6 patients waiting to check in but again in my panic I just ran her through the doors to the treatment area and asked for help. For what it's worth the Dr who was treating her said I'd done the right thing in not wasting time getting her help but we now have a plan for any future issues which involves always ringing an ambulance no matter what, so I think they know that sometimes people don't think straight in an emergency and won't berate a parent for doing what they could to get their child seen to as fast as possible.

Re the parking issue I've always wondered what the hell a parent is supposed to do if they bring a child to hospital and they cant walk or be carried from the parking area. I had to take DD in a taxi when she broke her ankle because I knew the parking area was too far away and I couldnt leave her in the car to go get a wheelchair and come back to take her so it was a taxi or parking in the disabled area. It's not a great set up at our hospital as the car park is a good 5 minute walk from A&E so I think people often find themselves in your situation.

Same here.

as someone who has spent too much time in children a and e and wards the parents who turn everything it into a fight just add stress alriund and don’t help anyone

@Sirzy @ArmatureDramatics

Do you really think rationally when you are trying to stop your child from dying from anaphylaxis?

Well.. about her.

Op has said quite clearly that her dd was fine at that point. She wasn't "trying to stop her dying" when she was chewing the arse off a random guy in the queue.

He’s sounds like a dick - good for you I would have told him to fuck off too!

What is it you think was he accusing or blaming her for? Where was the attack or insult to her? All I saw was another relative complaining about the waiting time to the people he was with.

the op responded to the other parent’s unreasonable behaviour so they quite literally started. I’m sure it is very possible they were worrrid and anxious themselves but their child was clearly not is as much danger of death hence the fact they had already waited an hour and hadn’t yet been seen.

As a parent who has been in the life or death position way too many times, and encountered other worried parents who are acting unreasonably I can hand on heart
say I have stayed focused on Ds not point scoring with other parents

Without knowing the Siri on