About my behaviour in A&E?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

So this morning my DD (9) out of nowhere had an anaphylactic shock. I have no idea what from, she has no allergies. But suddenly she was struggling to breathe and came out in hives in about 2 minutes. So I threw her and DS into the car and drove the 2 minutes to the hospital. DH is abroad for work so I am on my own! I parked in a disabled bay because they’re closest to the hospital and this was an emergency.

Went into A&E, there were 2 desks and one of them had a family there - a teenage girl (the patient from what I overheard) and her mum and dad. I went to the other desk and the doctors came out straight away to get DD. I could hear the dad of the other family moaning about the 2 hour waiting time. DD was struggling to breath inbetween cries of pain because of the hives.

Anyway they gave DD medication straight away and she was very quickly stabilised. However they initially wanted to observe her for a few hours - and are now observing her overnight just in case and will be running tests tomorrow to find out what on Earth she’s reacted to as she did/consumed nothing new this morning, or if it’s possibly immune system related. As you can imagine I was absolutely shitting myself whilst also trying to be a calming force for her, and her brother who was upset at his big sister being so unwell.

Anyway once she was stabilised and under observation, they said she needed spare clothes as they’d removed hers in case it was her clothing 🤷‍♀️ I just happened to have some in the car and thought I really needed to go and re park it anyway

anyway this was maybe an hour after turning up and the family I saw on my way in were still waiting. You have to leave A&E via the reception. The teenage girl patient was flicking through her phone and in no obvious distress. The dad looked at me and loudly said “For fucks sake we were before her and she’s leaving before we’re even seen”.

I just saw red and told him to get fucked I thought my daughter was dying before carrying on to the car to shouts of “you can’t speak to me like that”. He was watching me as I moved the car too as the A&E looks out directly into the car park so saw I’d parked in disabled without a blue badge.

Anyway he complained about me and the doctor told me off about using foul language in A&E and parking in disabled bays without a blue badge I said I’m sorry if it’s made their job more difficult but I’m not sorry for what I said. And that the non-disabled spaces are ages away and to me it was an emergency which is why I parked there. But this bloke was kicking off in reception at this point and taking time up so they obviously weren’t thrilled with me.

But IABU to have behaved the way I did?

DD is fine now BTW and happily watching TV in the children’s ward with my mum next to her, I’m in the canteen going silently between abject worry and total mortification!

According to your other thread about your passive aggressive mum with whom who never go to for support, I take it that when you said Definitely will never ever be leaving them alone together, ever re your mum and DD… you weren’t being serious

Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to park in a disabled bay/double yellows etc if it's literally life and death.

Of course it fucking is.

Don't block the road and don't block ambulance bays, obviously, but beyond that anywhere is fair game - get the kid into hospital and go back and move it as soon as you can and if you object to that you've obviously never been in the situation because believe it or not it really is fucking scary.

He was a dickhead for bothering a and e staff with your language and where you parked.

Next time your daughter is struggling to breathe make sure you drive around looking for the correct parking space !!!!!
You are not a nob , who cares what the parking space says in such an emergency, bloke was out of order too , glad to hear your daughter is doing well.

The MN goons really are out in force on this thread, aren't they?! 😂

I did something similar when 2yr old DS was very ill. It was just before Christmas and there was no parking available in the car park nearest the surgery as it was full of shoppers so I parked in one of the 2 remaining disabled spaces and rushed him in where we were meet by a doctor who had hung on to see him.

10 minutes later we were on our way to A&E where he was seen and admitted with sepsis. I got a ticket for the 15 minutes I was parked there but I'd do it again.

I once lost it waiting for many hours in A & E with DS 3. We’d been triaged and had been warned it was a v long waiting time. Guy next to us, with a not particularly unwell looking child, moaned for hours about the people who kept ‘jumping the queue ‘. After about 4 hours I pointed out loudly that it wasn’t a deli counter and that people were seen in terms of their need. It’s frustrating waiting but some people really don’t seem to understand how A and E works,

How come OP gets told off for swearing when he swore first?

Wow. Some people have far too much time on their hands...

You were a bit unreasonable but you were stressed. Just put it behind you. The guy was an arsehole. A and E isn't first come first served if someone can't breathe ffs.

A & E is about saving lives @Quveas
Not all disabled people are going to A & E because of a life and death situation.
OP did the right thing…she parked as close as she could and moved the car as soon as she could.
Move over and let the other half live too.

Might not be your proudest moment but it was a stressful and scary moment, just forget it. He was also unreasonable .

He was a total dick. Don't give him headspace, you were totally stressed.

I will reply to some individual posts, but to answer some questions

1. there is no drop off space outside this hospital. I wasn’t going to add 3-4 minutes to my journey to A&E so it was either the disabled bay or ambulance bay.
2. No of course I didn’t consider anyone else when I parked. I considered my daughter, of course. As would anyone - literally none of you would make a child in anaphylactic shock wait longer to seek medical attention based on the principle of ‘not being a dick’. Imagine telling your child they have to walk further when in pain and unable to breathe in case someone misses an appointment.
3. I didn’t have a child with me when I swore
4. The guy was very much being a dick and directing his comment at me. Considering he’d only waited an hour he was very impatient. I used to work in a hospital many moons ago and you wouldn’t believe how many people think A&E is a ‘first come first serve’ service. Like taking a ticket at the butchers.

Thanks for all those asking after DD. Pleased we stayed as she had another (much milder) flare up of the hives but no breathing troubles. It’s calmed down again after a dose of antihistamine. Mum is with her and I’ve come home for a shower, will be heading back soon.

“Not all” disabled people. So “some” is ok?

Heres a tip. If your child is actually dying, you call an ambulance. They have life saving equipment on board so they can be treated more quickly than if you drive them to hospital. And you are not likely to crash your car while you try and keep them alive.

Do you think I re-parked in a disabled bay??

Yes

All of us on this thread! 😂

Oh well. I swore at the staff who forgot my mum at A&E in France and refused to call a doctor when it was plain clear that she had not been entered into the system properly. It worked. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I wouldn’t worry. Glad your daughter is doing ok.

No, I didn’t - I was too busy worrying that my DD would stop breathing and my priority was only her. You’d be the same.

you think she should have dropped her 9 yo off and then gone and parked the car? Do you have children?

I knew that driving would be far quicker than an ambulance, it’s on a main road 2 minutes away and luckily my hyper-efficiency kicked in when I was driving!

Congratulations on doing ‘parent of a child who might be dying’ better than other parents. What an accolade!

I didn’t have a child with me when I swore
Where had you off loaded your second child? This thread is a bit polarised because there are two totally separate issues; the parking and the aggressive behaviour.
The first isn't a massive issue once you moved when you were able (which you did), the second was totally unwarranted, especially since your child was actually ok at that point and the other people's hadn't even been seen and they weren't even bloody well talking to you

And if there was a disabled person in an emergency situation then they could have just double parked / blocked the OP in. This was life or death. Not popping into Sainsburys for a ready meal.

The man was an absolute knob and I don't blame you for telling him where to go. I can't believe people are telling you off for parking in a disabled spot either. I am a blue badge holder and wouldn't mind at all if a space was taken up by someone trying to save their child's life ffs.