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Original poster

Awkward OLD situation

127 replies

Iiywhsvbsjcn · 23/04/2023 15:23

So I matched with this guy online, I'm late 20's, he's 30.

we got on well and had a date planned for tomorrow night. On his profile he only has one picture, and it was taken from the side, think a candid shot. But he looked good.

anyway, so chatting today and he says he will send some more pics of himself so I can recognise him for our date. I feel awful to say it but I am not attracted to him at all. I can't tell wether he's used a fake picture on his profile, it could plausibly be him (same hair colour, same length stubbley beard) but I dunno, the face on photos don't look good and he also looks older. if I were to see these photos I would guess late 30's possibly 40

I feel really awkward now and tbh I don't really want to meet him anymore. That sounds really shallow but there's no physical attraction there at all, but it's going to be really obvious if I drop out now that it will be because of his looks.

not sure what to do / say really!

OP posts:
girlfriend44 · 23/04/2023 15:24

Still go. Don't judge on just a picture.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 23/04/2023 15:25

He knows! Hence why he only has one photo.

Cancel the date and if he asks say you were weirded out a bit by his lack of honesty re his appearance.

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 23/04/2023 15:31

You don’t owe him anything. If you don’t want to see him then don’t see him. You literally don’t owe him anything.

He knew what he looked like and chose a strategic photo. But this is a little bit on you; you knew he had used one photo from an odd angle so what else did you expect? Ask for photos next time or FaceTime for a chat.

samestyle · 23/04/2023 15:34

I'd cancel, if you're not feeling it, it will be more awkward to go on a date and then turn him down.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 23/04/2023 15:34

Still go. He might look better in real life and if he doesn’t, you’ve lost nothing. You can’t really tell what someone looks like from a photo. I’ve seen bad photos online and IRL the guy was pretty hot. Presence, smell, voice, personality all make someone more, or less, attractive.

dottypotter · 23/04/2023 15:35

All this sending photos is crap anyway.
People go on blind dates don't have a picture.

Looks aren't everything anyway. Persona is important v important.
How do.you know he's not a nice guy?

BloomstoShrooms · 23/04/2023 15:36

If they have only one photo they usually don't look great.
Cancel and block

Original poster
Iiywhsvbsjcn · 23/04/2023 15:37

It's not that I don't know he's a nice guy etc and I get physical appearance isn't everything, but I dunno it feels a bit deceptive? Idk like I'm comparing the photo on his profile to the ones he sent me and it does look like it could be a different person. Just feels awkward

OP posts:
simpleseechhh · 23/04/2023 15:39

'thank you for sending photos through, I feel a bit unsettled because the photos I have just received to me don't resemble the image on your dating profile, it doesn't feel right to continue, I wish you the best'

mysonsmother82 · 23/04/2023 15:41

Do you think he has lied about his age if he looks for 40 than 30?
Either way you don't owe this man anything and are entitled to change your mind. Make up an excuse to cancel and leave it at that.

JMSA · 23/04/2023 15:44

I would still go for it if the chat so far has been good. If you're not attracted to him in the flesh then fair enough, don't see him again.

TanukiMario · 23/04/2023 15:45

Ask yourself what you want.
Give him a chance, then go on the date anyways.
If you really have no attraction at all and dont want to continue then you can either be honest and tell him that his photos are too different from his profile.
Or if you dont want to do that you could always go on the date and say afterwards that hes a nice guy, but there was no real spark for you (if hes nice).

AnaNimmity · 23/04/2023 15:46

He’s totally done this on purpose and is relying on the socialisation you will have received (as all women do) to be ‘kind’ and not rock the boat.

Fuck. That.

NFW would I be going, and I’d be telling him precisely why.

Original poster
Iiywhsvbsjcn · 23/04/2023 15:46

I don't know if he's lied is the thing. If I saw the new pics with no other knowledge I would say he was older than 30. But he doesn't look 50/60 iyswim so he could be 30 and just not look good for his age 😬
I feel like the pics could be him and the one on his dating profile was very flattering, or it could be a different person.

god I sound like a bitch

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 23/04/2023 15:47

Cancel

AnaNimmity · 23/04/2023 15:49

No, no you’re not a bitch at all - he has manipulated you into second guessing yourself and you’re in danger of falling for it.

Im furious on your behalf - he’s a wrong’Un OP, listen to what he’s telling you about himself.

Stormydanielss · 23/04/2023 15:49

Nah he's picked that "one" photo cos he looked ok in it
The only having one photo and then sending ones over after the fact seems like he couldn't get a date and he's trying this way now once you have said yes to the date and hoping you'll be "nice" enough to still go ahead with the date
You don't have to do anything you don't want to

FlibbertyGibbitt · 23/04/2023 15:49

I went on a date once with someone who only had a side view picture on his profile. Soon as I got there I knew it’s was a no no. Saw someone else for a bit and although he was nice just didn’t fancy him. I’d cancel.

ILoveTulipsandDaffodils · 23/04/2023 15:52

Don't go. He knew what he was doing; it's manipulative. You don't owe him anything at all, if you're not feeling it, for any reason, don't go.

mischlerischler · 23/04/2023 15:54

Cancel. It sounds like he did it on purpose!

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2023 16:02

AnaNimmity · 23/04/2023 15:46

He’s totally done this on purpose and is relying on the socialisation you will have received (as all women do) to be ‘kind’ and not rock the boat.

Fuck. That.

NFW would I be going, and I’d be telling him precisely why.

Guy puts up best possible photo of himself - he's lying, deceitful, you're furious etc.

How many women do you think put up photos of themselves with full makeup, filters, etc? Isn't that exactly the same thing?

CharlotteDoyle · 23/04/2023 16:03

Just make an excuse and cancel. You're clearly no longer interested and dreading the prospect of a date. Going ahead purely out of guilt wouldn't serve anyone's interests.

LuckyStone · 23/04/2023 16:03

Why the fuck do women feel the need to go on dates with men they're not attracted to!? Do you honestly believe men would return that favour to us? Would they fuck! Don't go, you deserve better

Fuerza · 23/04/2023 16:05

You owe him nothing @Iiywhsvbsjcn you have not met him.

HappyTrance · 23/04/2023 16:06

I had that happen to me. He looked really old-fashioned in the new photos and not my type at all. I did cancel.