Awkward OLD situation

[Iiywhsvbsjcn]

So I matched with this guy online, I'm late 20's, he's 30.

we got on well and had a date planned for tomorrow night. On his profile he only has one picture, and it was taken from the side, think a candid shot. But he looked good.

anyway, so chatting today and he says he will send some more pics of himself so I can recognise him for our date. I feel awful to say it but I am not attracted to him at all. I can't tell wether he's used a fake picture on his profile, it could plausibly be him (same hair colour, same length stubbley beard) but I dunno, the face on photos don't look good and he also looks older. if I were to see these photos I would guess late 30's possibly 40

I feel really awkward now and tbh I don't really want to meet him anymore. That sounds really shallow but there's no physical attraction there at all, but it's going to be really obvious if I drop out now that it will be because of his looks.

not sure what to do / say really!

I think if this was a woman it would have VERY DIFFERENT responses ..

However I have a very happy tale to tell.. my daughter matched with someone in match.. he was shy about being bald all photos included a hat !

But she decided not to judge on looks alone and went on the date to discover an amazing man .. NEVER someone she would normally go for .. she is stunning although I say myself .. half Indonesian .. half Brit .. really gorgeous and had only previously dated v 'pretty boys' .. but this man is just fabulous in every way .. they are now engaged and he can't believe his luck and neither can she ..

Go for it OP .. look beyond .. into the personality.. you MAY be very pleasantly surprised !

Well he's been honest with you and sent new photos. Personally I would still go, you said he seemed nice etc and I can imagine it was a big thing for him to do that. Nothing ventured, nothing gained? Give him a chance?

Please don’t waste your time by going on the date.

Do you think he would bother if didn’t you attractive? No way. Take a leaf from his book and cancel now.

I’d tell him that he doesn’t look to be in the age range you are looking for.

@Escapefromhell Wow so you’d let someone get dressed up, travel somewhere, be ready for a nice evening - and you wouldn’t even speak to them? You’d just leave without them knocking? Then you’d block them so they couldn’t even message to ask where you were, so they might end up spending a hour waiting for you? Just because you didn’t like the way they looked, even though you’d got on with them beforehand? Holy shit it’s a brutal world out there if that’s how people treat each other these days.

My husband looked way worse on his online dating pics than in real life! I say go along, you’ve got nothing to lose if he otherwise seems a nice guy.

Knowing not knocking

I think a FaceTime chat can be good in these circumstances.

However, if you’ve got the ick from his pic then don’t bother.

I would say the same to anyone who deliberately set out to be deceitful on OLD - if you're going to choose photos that don't look like you, you can't go on to be surprised that people cancel or say they're no longer interested.

The fact that OP's potential date is male is irrelevant, tbh.

If you don't want to go then don't go. You don't have to go on the date. But if you decide not to then I would be honest about why rather than making an excuse - maybe something along the lines of "I'm having trouble matching the photos you've sent with your profile. I'm not comfortable meeting up when I'm not sure who I'm meeting so I am going to cancel. Best of luck etc etc".

So I (very politely) asked if his age on his profile was accurate, and he said he's 33. So it's not a massive difference, and it wouldn't have put me off that he's that age if that's what he had said from the beginning?

also, to the people saying about double standards etc I completely get where you're coming from. And I am by no means a 10/10. I could stand to loose a couple stone, but I also have a full length photo of myself on my profile so it's obvious what I look like. But yes, I do have nice hair / makeup in all my pics. Idk maybe I am a hypocrite 🤷🏼‍♀️

To be fair people have often commented that I look nothing like photos of me. I'm incredibly unphotogenic to the point that I look like a different person compared to how I appear in real life. My own DP of 10 years says that cameras steal the light from my eyes 😂

It's very strange. For that reason I'd say go and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Although h of course if you're freaked out you can just say sorry you don't look the same so I'm not comfortable dating you

I have done a fair bit of online dating, and I think most people look better in the flesh and it is hard to tell from photos.
Saying that I did have the same thing happen to me,I had been chatting to a guy for a little while and agreed to meet(he had one profile pic on )
When I met him he looked quite a bit different(picture was way better then IRL) but we got on well and I did date him for a few months.
I would go and see how you get on etc, you can always leave the date early if you are not feeling it.

Don’t go if you don’t want to - and it’s fine to make up a reason if you don’t want to say the truth.

Sorry I’ve just seen your post that says he lied about his age!! I DEFINITELY would not go, that’s such a red flag for me.

If you're doing OLD you HAVE to listen to your gut.

It doesn't feel right, then it's isn't right.

Block and move on.

He knows exactly what he's doing. Fake picture, then guilting you into seeing him.

Fuck #BeKind.

Block and move on. If you go on a date with him I'd put money on it being a disaster. Will he guilt you into sleeping with him too?

There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Ps just because he said he was a certain age he doesn't mean he actually is!!

It's like the scammers who use poor english to reel in the naive people. If he has you believing he's in his 30s when you think he obviously isn't, he's a bad 'un.

Please OP listen to what your senses are telling you. Please!!!

He's not been upfront about his appearance or his age. Red flags for me.

It’s not shallow to want to find the person you date, physically attractive. For all the moaners of double standards here, no man would be pressured by other men to give a woman a chance in this situation. Women’s sexuality is shamed in a way mens isn’t.

You’re not running a charity, giving away your time to entertain men who have lied to you, you’ve nothing to feel guilty for.

Looks don't matter but the fact he lied about his age, no, that is a big turn off for me.

Do what you want to do

I believe it’s called catfishing. Using photos that don’t look like your real self, telling lies about your age or other important things. I’d cancel the date and tell him it’s because he’s been untruthful.

There is usually very little difference in someones appearance between the ages of 30 and 33, so why bother?...which makes me think he is lying (still) about his age, probably closer to late 30's or early 40's.

I get irrationally annoyed my men lying about their age, because they're usually doing it to hook a much younger woman. So actually, age is very much important to them when it comes to women's age.

Anyway, if you want to go and check him out, do so, but I would be very skeptical. You're already suspicious of him, not a great start.

*by

I would cancel. It would bother me that he lied about his age and most likely knowingly posted a misleading pic. I'd be thinking 'what else are you lying about?'

I agree you do not owe him.anything. I.do think adlington him.re new pocs and age might be a good idea because realistically if he is much older you would not be interested.