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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this person a CF or AIBU?

189 replies

NewJobNervousNelly · 22/04/2023 17:25

I have a tree in my front garden that we have put a small swing in for DD6. My garden doesn't have a fence around it but it's quite clearly a private garden. Last week I WFH all week and my dog was going crazy Monday so I went downstairs and there was a woman pushing a child of about 3 on the swing - there's only 10 houses on our close and she definitely wasn't a neighbour but I thought she may have been visiting a neighbor so just left it. This then happened again on Tuesday and Wednesday but both times I was on a call so I couldnt go out but she saw me at the window on Tuesday and just smiled and carried on. I mentioned it to a neighbor and he said she comes in most days, walks in, plays on the swing and then walks back out of the close.

Is this woman a CF or AIBU asking her to sod off? It's not really doing any harm, other than setting my dog off barking but I just find it bizarre behaviour.

OP posts:
Pertinentowl · 24/04/2023 23:32

CurlewKate · 23/04/2023 05:34

I'm not sure how I'd feel about this if it was my swing, but in true Mumsnet style, I'm fascinated by some completely irrelevant side issues. 1) Why do Ukranian refugees have special status when as a country we generally regard refugees with hostility and suspicion? 2) Why is it OK to have a dog that goes into "protect mode" and what the f is "protect mode" anyway? And 3)Why would anyone object to a swing in a front garden unless it was "out of sight"?

I know. It’s amazing how there was no refugees before the white Europeans.
I mean… no words

ChocolatGateaux · 24/04/2023 23:37

Swalewhale · 22/04/2023 18:35

She's not doing any harm though is she? Imagine she's a Ukrainian refugee, she doesn't realise it's your garden boundary, shes finally found a little safe place to walk to, her kid loves it there, and you lot want her to fuck off! Life is short, I say leave her be

Helluva leap there!!

CuriousMoo · 24/04/2023 23:41

Doubletroublemummy2 · 24/04/2023 21:30

Not at all, I get plenty of joy enjoying facilities that are designated for public and don't require trespassing

Show quote history

Sounds like a version of ChatGPT trained solely on council websites 🙃

Pidide · 24/04/2023 23:57

I agree with this 100% I don't see any harm. Just a small act of kindness and helps the mum out with a toddler.

SlurpSlooChortle · 25/04/2023 00:15

Quantum Leap.

PoseyFlump · 25/04/2023 06:35

Bluekerfuffle · 24/04/2023 20:34

What difference does it make if they are not from the close if you are fine with any of the children from the close or any of their visitors on it anyway? The same applies to them if they have an accident. I would think most people wouldn’t blame you if there was an accident.
Also, the sprinkler idea is terrible. Some poor innocent kid that was expecting a nice time on a swing would get drenched instead.

Exactly this. If no one was allowed on the swing then it would be a different matter. And the sprinkler thing is just nasty.

lemonchiffonpie · 25/04/2023 11:23

You'd almost think there was no such thing as private property. It's not a public park with a set of swings, it's a private garden that OP has paid for and maintains and a tree swing on what is obviously someone's private land. You don't just waltz onto someone's private property and make use of the ammenities.

Orangello · 25/04/2023 12:59

Imagine she's a Ukrainian refugee, she doesn't realise it's your garden boundary

Ukraine has private property, fences and gardens. Do you think they all live in some kind of communal forest?

Original poster
NewJobNervousNelly · 25/04/2023 13:39

The swinger returned today. I asked if I could help as she was just getting the child out of the pram on my lawn and she said oh we're just using the swing so I explained it was private property, that she was on my lawn and there was a park around the corner and she said she doesn't like the park because of the 'bigger children'... Although to my knowledge, any children bigger than hers would be in school at the moment. I told her I didn't want people on my garden that I don't know, as it upsets my dog and again it's private property. She said 'oh yes I can hear the dog' and then walked away. My neighbour watched it unfold and was unhappy that I didn't challenge her using their garden as a toilet for their off lead dog but that's nothing to do with me.

So to summarise - not thinking it's public land, not unaware of the local park and not a refugee of any sort (although I didn't outright ask the question).

Let's see if she comes back tomorrow when my car has gone!

OP posts:
WickedSerious · 25/04/2023 13:46

Definitely a cheeky fucker then.

IncompleteSenten · 25/04/2023 13:47

You mean you didn't give her your spare key and tell her to feel free to let herself in to use the loo or make some lunch?
How selfish you are.

😁

CardinalCopia · 25/04/2023 14:16

Give her a cream egg OP 😂😂😂

Heartsnrainbows · 25/04/2023 14:18

Cheeky mare! While you're not in definitely leave a sprinkler on.

CatA27 · 25/04/2023 14:28

Wow, cheeky sod! I am so glad you came back to update as I would have periodically wondered about the outcome for the foreseeable future 😀

SlurpSlooChortle · 25/04/2023 14:54

This cannot be real. I don't want to think people like this really exist. That even when challenged wouldn't just say "Sorry I didn't realise".

Tidsleytiddy · 25/04/2023 15:21

Ah, the perils of tying a swing to a tree are manifold. It attracts all-comers unfortunately. Utter cheeky fucker. Doubt she’ll be the last

Eightiesgirl · 25/04/2023 16:08

Well done for challenging her as, unfortunately, I've found give them an inch and they'll take a mile. At my previous house we had an open plan front garden running in front of ours and next doors detached houses. We owned the greater share of the garden in front of ours and their's was just a little apron at the front but there was nothing to separate them. However, as they just had a little toddler, who obviously didn't understand boundaries, we never complained when he wandered over to our side to play. Our big mistake was one day telling the mum, when she apologised for him being on our side, that it was fine and we didn't mind him playing on our side. After that they suddenly had half the neighbourhood kids round playing on our front garden. We wouldn't even have minded if it was just his toddler friends but a couple of teenagers were even playing cricket and football and the ball hit our window. They must have told people we didn't mind kids playing on our garden. They even had a picnic with some adult friends sat under our front bay window, then another day I looked out of the window to see the husband stretched out on my part, sunbathing. My dog was also constantly barking through the window at all these people on his garden. Sadly, some people take advantage.

Tidsleytiddy · 25/04/2023 16:45

Eightiesgirl · 25/04/2023 16:08

Well done for challenging her as, unfortunately, I've found give them an inch and they'll take a mile. At my previous house we had an open plan front garden running in front of ours and next doors detached houses. We owned the greater share of the garden in front of ours and their's was just a little apron at the front but there was nothing to separate them. However, as they just had a little toddler, who obviously didn't understand boundaries, we never complained when he wandered over to our side to play. Our big mistake was one day telling the mum, when she apologised for him being on our side, that it was fine and we didn't mind him playing on our side. After that they suddenly had half the neighbourhood kids round playing on our front garden. We wouldn't even have minded if it was just his toddler friends but a couple of teenagers were even playing cricket and football and the ball hit our window. They must have told people we didn't mind kids playing on our garden. They even had a picnic with some adult friends sat under our front bay window, then another day I looked out of the window to see the husband stretched out on my part, sunbathing. My dog was also constantly barking through the window at all these people on his garden. Sadly, some people take advantage.

This is sickening. Complete scummy piss take. Makes me shudder the liberties people will take

MrBit · 25/04/2023 16:48

Didnt you make a post about it at the time @Eightiesgirl ?

Eightiesgirl · 25/04/2023 16:51

@MrBit You know I think I might have. As I was typing it out I thought I'm sure I've posted about this before. Apologies, it's my brain fog!

Original poster
NewJobNervousNelly · 25/04/2023 17:18

I did consider giving her a key in case she wanted to return whilst I'm at work, but I thought there are that many caring people on this thread who would probably do that, I'd be best leaving it to them!

I thought even if she was a CF, she'd at least feign ignorance and apologise.

On a side note, I've just been out and bought a ring door bell ...

OP posts:
Casperroonie · 25/04/2023 18:28

She's a weirdo. I would take off the swing / wrap it and chain it securely for a few days until she goes away and realises she's not welcome, also say it and tell her she can’t use it. In the meantime try a fence and sign that says private property. Some ppl need extreme messages!!!

PoseyFlump · 25/04/2023 18:33

Gosh what unbelievable behaviour.

LaMaG · 25/04/2023 20:13

Well done OP for taking her on👏. I hope that's the end of it for you. Keep us updated if not

Justbeingnoseynow · 25/04/2023 20:16

Please come back and let us know if she returns, I’m quite invested 😆