Is this person a CF or AIBU?

[NewJobNervousNelly]

I have a tree in my front garden that we have put a small swing in for DD6. My garden doesn't have a fence around it but it's quite clearly a private garden. Last week I WFH all week and my dog was going crazy Monday so I went downstairs and there was a woman pushing a child of about 3 on the swing - there's only 10 houses on our close and she definitely wasn't a neighbour but I thought she may have been visiting a neighbor so just left it. This then happened again on Tuesday and Wednesday but both times I was on a call so I couldnt go out but she saw me at the window on Tuesday and just smiled and carried on. I mentioned it to a neighbor and he said she comes in most days, walks in, plays on the swing and then walks back out of the close.

Is this woman a CF or AIBU asking her to sod off? It's not really doing any harm, other than setting my dog off barking but I just find it bizarre behaviour.

I’d tell her to piss off because of your dog. Our dog goes absolutely mad if the children in my close decide to play on our drive without our children. She goes into ‘protect mode’ and won’t stop until they go. It’s a bloody nuisance but ultimately strangers can’t loiter on our property without our dog noticing so I have no qualms about telling the children to go away as doggy doesn’t like it if I’m WHF it’s a straightforward request.

Personally I don’t think it would bother me if her child has a swing for a few minutes on it and it’s in my open front garden (I’m assuming v open to the street). It’s nice all the children in the street can use it with your DD. But no, if it’s bothering you it’s your swing and garden so you can just ask her not to.

A fence will easily sort this out. Otherwise you have no option but to tell her it's your private garden. I have actually seen this before on an allotment where swings were in public view and other people used them.

Next time she’s there go out and say “can I help you?” preferably before she starts using the swing.

If she says she’s there to use the swing just say “no sorry you can’t as it’s my child’s swing which is why it’s in my garden and as you can hear my dog is getting stressed and his barking is affecting my work”.

If she does it again then you’re going to have to be more blunt.

I appreciate it's not really doing much harm, other than my dog having a strop but he soon stops once I tell him to be quiet - as others have pointed out though, if it breaks and the child is harmed or breaks and my daughter is then without a swing, it's an unnecessary risk.

My garden is open on to the close but it's clear it's a garden and there is no land anywhere on the close that isn't someones garden so I don't think she could be confused that it's public. There's also no through road/path so she only comes in to use the swing, not sure of the original reason she came in to see the swing as my house is out of view from the road.

I don't want to put a fence up, the garden is round and would be a pain in the arse. I'm just going to go out next time I see her and ask if I can help and see where the conversation takes us.

I agree and bear in mind it’s a child getting a bit of enjoyment not the adult.

@Heroicallyfound that is just the trouble, she was pushing it ( the swing I mean ) .
God I'm funny 😁

Sounds like a ghost!

Your insurance may not cover this. Say something!

@Offensiveapprently groan! 😅

Definitely a CF. Like the parents who let their little darlings walk on people's front walls (but I know from bitter experience that MN thinks that's ok)

Private property sign?

I’d have to put some sort of boundary fence up, this would annoy me. It wouldn’t even have to be tall, but just enough so you could tell it was definitely private.

imagine if she started bringing others with her

It's the weekend again isn't it 🤔

She's not doing any harm though is she? Imagine she's a Ukrainian refugee, she doesn't realise it's your garden boundary, shes finally found a little safe place to walk to, her kid loves it there, and you lot want her to fuck off! Life is short, I say leave her

A leap Skippy would be proud of, there.

Sorry I don't know what you mean?

This is what I'd do.

I wouldn't begrudge a 3 yo a turn on a swing, no. It would be different if she'd opened a gate to get in or something. A child playing is a joyful thing.

If you aren't there to calm the dog is he likely to bark the entire time this woman is using the swing? If so, then you need to put a stop to it before you end up pissing off any close neighbours. You don't want this woman to damage your relationship with your neighbours and potentially you could end up dealing with the Council if the noise from your dog is loud.

your dog stops barking when you're there and tell him to stop - but he probably gets really stressed if he's home on his own.
Just direct her to the nearest park/playground.

or lots of realistic looking plastic dog poo strategically placed around the base of the swing.

I don't think it would bother me. If the child is enjoying a little swing then going on their way I wouldn't see the harm. Maybe she (mum) doesn't have much to do and the child likes that walk.

But it's your garden so if you don't like it put up a little fence or say something.

I definitely think you should let the Ukranians use your swing.

Don't ask if you can help - it's better to be straightforward. Just politely explain that it's a private garden, and ask her not to use it again.

Exactly this.

Can't believe you all are so against a child sharing a swing!