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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Someone's taken credit for anonymous treat!

976 replies

Monstersinked · 22/04/2023 10:56

Quick silly one but not sure what to do.

Friend has had a hard time so I've sent them a cream tea type surprise treat. Left the card anonymous but she finds it difficult to receive without reciprocating and I wanted her to have something just for her with no strings, to cheer her up.

She posts it on social media, another Friend (I don't know) comments, saying enjoy, glad you like, you deserve it type thing

My friend says ahhhh was it you, youre amazing

Other friend says wink wink it's anonymous so I guess you'll never know

Now, to me there alluding it was then. Taking all the bloody credit. I know I didn't send it for credit or even thanks but I'm a little pissed off!

OP posts:
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21
Mummyratbag · 22/04/2023 12:14

How outrageously cheeky - it's almost admirable (in how on earth do they have the front sort of way?) - I'm now over invested in the outcome - no I don't have anything better to be doing 😂...

MiddleParking · 22/04/2023 12:15

This is on you for playing silly beggars. You could have just sent her a present normally and given her the opportunity to say thanks properly if it was really about her. The fact you’re annoyed about someone else getting the credit (when that was always a risk of not telling her who it was from) suggests you’d imagined her guessing it was you and you therefore looking both generous and modest. Your friend is now put in the position of being on the back foot in a social situation she didn’t ask for when it sounds like she’s already having a stressful time.

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 12:15

Do you know the friend who commented?

I don’t think she was taken credit. It was obviously a friend or family of the person to have done this and chances are on FB, so she was being a bit daft if she had intended to take credit

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 22/04/2023 12:16

She's a cheeky cow. Can't imagine taking credit for someone else's good deed, especially publicly. While I'd be so tempted to comment and say something like 'glad you enjoyed it 😘' so CF knows they've been a CF, at least you've text your friend and she'll know.

pumpkintits · 22/04/2023 12:17

I'm just here patiently waiting for the friends response when she finds out CF was not the cream tea giver 🍿

Ooolaaaala · 22/04/2023 12:18

Monstersinked · 22/04/2023 12:01

I didn't want credit but I certainly don't want someone taking it either!! 😝

Worst thing that could happen is she takes CF along to the CT at your expense……

Well done for the original gesture and the follow on message……

Oldnproud · 22/04/2023 12:18

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 12:15

Do you know the friend who commented?

I don’t think she was taken credit. It was obviously a friend or family of the person to have done this and chances are on FB, so she was being a bit daft if she had intended to take credit

That's what I think, too.

Napsarethebest · 22/04/2023 12:19

I'm loving the suggestions. So funny!

Some of the replies on this thread however are bonkers. The only person that did anything wrong is the CF for taking the credit for the OP's kind gesture. Wtf?

That aside i am now very invested in this thread and waiting to see how it pans out!

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/04/2023 12:19

ShowUs · 22/04/2023 11:51

I actually don’t think the friend is implying it was her.

She initially said enjoy etc which I think we all would.

Then when the friend asked if it was her what was she supposed to say?

I initially thought straight away that I’d say no it wasn’t me but whenever we do secret Santa and someone asks me if it was me I always say I can’t say to keep it anonymous.

So I don’t think this person was actually trying to be a CF.

I’m not sure what I’d do now though.

You didn’t want her to know it was from you so this has worked in your favour and so I’d probably just leave it.

Secret Santa is totally different in that everyone’s bought and received!

Agree the first part could be read either way but the wink wink was uncalled for.

ejbaxa · 22/04/2023 12:20

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 12:15

Do you know the friend who commented?

I don’t think she was taken credit. It was obviously a friend or family of the person to have done this and chances are on FB, so she was being a bit daft if she had intended to take credit

I think her 2nd comment after the recipient posted thanks takes credit by omission

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/04/2023 12:20

I'd let it go and delete the message if your friend hasn't read it.

The main thing is that your friend has taken pleasure from it which was surely the purpose of sending it.

I'd leave it a while and then say it was you. If the other person has accepted a gift in response they're going to look pretty stupid for it.

I don't care about the credit-stealer; but that's going to be so awkward for the friend receiving the gift, whenever she finds out, and it will really throw a huge dampened on what should be a simple kind gift.

Beetrootlover82 · 22/04/2023 12:20

pumpkintits · 22/04/2023 12:17

I'm just here patiently waiting for the friends response when she finds out CF was not the cream tea giver 🍿

These two are friends
and presumably close if the OP’s friend even thought for a minute it could be her

So I am guessing she doesn’t think anything bad and instead assumes - like me, she was just joking around

let me guess, would you kick off at the cheeky fucker? 😂

lilao · 22/04/2023 12:21

Could you message friend that commented "I can't believe X thinks you sent the tea! I thought I was being sneaky as I sent it anonymously so have just let her know as I know it'll worry her otherwise."

SchoolTripDrama · 22/04/2023 12:23

Minisculefool · 22/04/2023 11:09

I wouldn’t say anything, you’re friend likes it and that’s all that matters.
if you comment on it it looks petty

Petty? Someone else has taken credit for money which OP spent! I wouldn't be letting that one slide!

ShandaLear · 22/04/2023 12:24

I’d post on Facebook. “SURPRISE!! Hope you enjoyed it. I’ve always had a great cream tea from (tag company name here) so thought I’d treat you to one too. Much love ❤️”

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/04/2023 12:24

This is definitely a deliberate way of 'not-claiming-the-credit-but-claiming-the-credit'.

Like when you get these tiresome people who try to make out that they're international spies - they'll say something like "Let's just say that I work for the government, I can't say any more than that!!" - when their actual job is issuing council permits for garden waste collections.

BarryStyles · 22/04/2023 12:25

I’d message the CF and say “I sent friend the cream tea as a surprise and wanted to keep it anonymous, why have you let her think it was you?”

If CF said “glad you like it” she’s definitely claiming it was her - nobody says they are glad someone likes a gift from another person! E.g.
Me: ”my lovely kids made me a cake for Mother’s Day”
Random person “glad you like it!”
Makes no sense!

TheLunarModule · 22/04/2023 12:25

I’ll do it for you OP! Give me your mates Facebook and I’ll go on and say ‘OH! @Monstersinked told me she was doing this, how kind of her. Oops, I wasn’t meant to say anything!’ 😉

CremeEggQueen · 22/04/2023 12:25

ShowUs · 22/04/2023 11:51

I actually don’t think the friend is implying it was her.

She initially said enjoy etc which I think we all would.

Then when the friend asked if it was her what was she supposed to say?

I initially thought straight away that I’d say no it wasn’t me but whenever we do secret Santa and someone asks me if it was me I always say I can’t say to keep it anonymous.

So I don’t think this person was actually trying to be a CF.

I’m not sure what I’d do now though.

You didn’t want her to know it was from you so this has worked in your favour and so I’d probably just leave it.

This, I read it like that too.
Just shows how the written word can be conveyed differently

HyacinthBookay · 22/04/2023 12:26

Minisculefool · 22/04/2023 11:09

I wouldn’t say anything, you’re friend likes it and that’s all that matters.
if you comment on it it looks petty

Please ignore this OP. I think you should let your friend know it was you. It is wrong to collude with someone else’s deception. And I know it seems a small thing but it would really annoy me. If you can find a lighthearted way to do it then all the better (there are some good suggestions above).

Thebigblueballoon · 22/04/2023 12:27

Oh come on. She was definitely trying to take the credit! Petty or not, I’d be revealing myself publicly on her post. The CF deserves to look like a daft cow.

SchoolTripDrama · 22/04/2023 12:28

@ShowUs That's some mental gymnastics you've done to try and defend the CF! Wow

@Monstersinked Has she read the WhatsApp yet? If not then you MUST comment on the tagged post saying what you said in the WhatsApp. This needs nipping in the bud now! Before she buys the CF something or insists on paying for it

HarrietStyles · 22/04/2023 12:29

ShandaLear · 22/04/2023 12:24

I’d post on Facebook. “SURPRISE!! Hope you enjoyed it. I’ve always had a great cream tea from (tag company name here) so thought I’d treat you to one too. Much love ❤️”

Great advice. I would totally do this.

moonspiral · 22/04/2023 12:29

HarrietStyles · 22/04/2023 12:29

Great advice. I would totally do this.

Yes I like this

Ooolaaaala · 22/04/2023 12:29

SchoolTripDrama · 22/04/2023 12:28

@ShowUs That's some mental gymnastics you've done to try and defend the CF! Wow

@Monstersinked Has she read the WhatsApp yet? If not then you MUST comment on the tagged post saying what you said in the WhatsApp. This needs nipping in the bud now! Before she buys the CF something or insists on paying for it

Or takes her on the afternoon tea (if it was for 2) - at the expense of the OP!!