Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

Buy your dad a great book, kettle in the room and ask him to chill.

They can sit up in bed and read!

You sound very narrow-minded. You also sound like you are getting up earlier than you want and need and are very bitter because of it.

I don't understand how they are being so loud that it wakes you all up? My parents live in a small 2-bed house with a bathroom in the middle that shares a wall with each bedroom. My father wakes up any time between 4.30-6a.m. and manages to get up and use the toilet, make his breakfast, watch TV downstairs etc without waking anybody. My mother could lie in bed until hours after my dad, me, and my DD are up and doing things. How can it wake you all up? Are you extremely light sleepers?

A 2 minute drive? Walk it!

If your DD doesn't go to sleep until 8.30pm, I think you're putting her to bed too early to be honest. Do you really have to spend an hour and a half 'settling her' every night? Maybe your parents think this is rude when they are visiting you. does your DH have to stay downstairs and make small talk with them? Why doesn't he take DD to bed?

And if she's 4, is this the first time your parents have come to stay?

As adults could your parents agree to go to bed later and sleep later and hang out in their room a bit later?

Seems crazy trying to wrangle a small child to fit adults who are completely capable of understanding their impact and adjust themselves accordingly.

Tbf most children need to wake around 6.30am for school. And there’s plenty of occasions when dc get less sleep than usual..Christmas, birthdays, holidays, travelling, staying at other family members houses, clock changes. I think the key is to manage behaviour throughout small changes in routine rather than relying on a rigid structure that you can’t always guarantee. So encourage quiet time after lunch, stick some foil on the window, plenty of fresh air during the day, and the usual consequences for bad behaviour.

Having said that.. 10 days is way too long

This will probably be way out for you, but you do know that not all actual JOBS start between 9-9.30? I’ve had ‘actual’ JOBS that start at 3pm or any time of the day. At the moment I couldn’t wake at 8 because I have four kids to sort and to school by 8.35, but if I only had one to get sorted and the kids school started at 9.15 I could let them sleep until 8.

And yes, I could TRY to randomly wake up an hour and a half earlier than my comfortable waking time for a week, but why would I if that’s not necessary?

Seems a bit rich to call people hard of thinking when you can’t conceptualise anyone having an actual JOB that doesn’t start at 9.

Although I think inviting anyone to stay for 10 days is a lot. It makes me feel a bit worn out to have guests for that length of time!

I can’t see how you’re being U at all.

Your dad just needs to be a bit more considerate. He must see how her behaviour is being impacted.

Yes he might be used to waking at 6.30, might need to use the loo, but he should make an effort to be quieter about it. Would it be better if he went straight downstairs, used the downstairs loo if you have one (I don’t, so not assuming), and then your DH might not be going down to the sofa in the first place?

Also, tell your dh not to sleep on the settee then your df having the audacity to go downstairs wouldnt disturb him. If dh struggles with your dd in the same room then get earplugs shove him on a mattress on your bedroom floor.

Surely different when it's your own parents? Everyone should be able to communicate better.

Unless a big drip feed is coming

a 4 year old “acting nuts” having “very difficult behaviour” the OP “dreading tonight” over a slightly early start…. Is concerning to say the least op

Your parents need a tea/coffee station in the bedroom they are using

You need blackout blinds (DD is probably also not sleeping as deeply in the mornings now that those are lighter)

A 4yo needs to be in bed, lights out at 7 pm, not taken up to start the bedtime routine at that time!

You have clearly never had a child who didn't want to go to sleep or who fell asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow.

Not all children are the same.

A two minute drive isn't necessarily a short walk, though.

OP also has to carry on to work afterwards which is a five minute drive - around here, there are journeys of five minutes in the car that would easily take an hour to walk due to the routes involved.

It works for her, so why jump on and tell her off?

Your dad needs firmly telling by YOU to stay in his room or make a bigger effort to be quiet in the mornings.

When my 70 yrs DH is up early, he’s perfectly capable of moving around quietly and not flushing the loo etc. Older men can change their routines if they want to.

Yes, 6.30 am is bloody early! I get up around that time to let the chickens out and feed the cats but I usually go back to bed afterwards for another hour. 😁

Oh I think her father is thoughtless no doubt about that

but have you read the extent of this 4 year olds “very difficult” going “nuts” behaviour and the OP’s dread of the consequence tonight

theres bigger issues here if that really is the case over a missed hour of sleep

Have you complained about this exact same thing before?

If he is anything like my Dad, who is up at 6/6.30, abluting, then crashing about in the kitchen, it could be that if he is up,he thinks everyone else should be, a form of attention seeking? Your dm could be still asleep, or pretending. I agree with posters suggesting that 10 days is too long a visit, not that this opinion helps you atm.
Its unsettling for any child to have people staying, dd will be fine, have fun tonight.

You drive a 2 minute school run? Fucking hell.

Take dd to bed later if she isn't sleeping until 8.30am. No harm in her having a nap if she is cranky with tiredness

Of course it's early and you know it is .