Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

So you want them to wake up at 630 and do what. Lie in bed until 8?

Try gin 😊
for everyone.

In addition to the MN competitive undereaters (“adults don’t need 3 meals a day” brigade), we now also have competitive non sleepers (“6:30 is late and you are lazy”). Completely nuts.

OP, I think there’s little you can do. Your Dad is inconsiderate. Talking to him is unlikely to lead to a nice family atmosphere. Unfortunately when families stay together in less space then they’re used to, someone is bound to step on someone else’s toes.

Move the dinner earlier. Future visits, get them a hotel - tell them that there’s not much space and DD was out of routine when kicked out of her bedroom. Keep trying to put DD to bed early, and try a nap one day, but don’t hold your breath.

DH and I are both early wakers. It is torture being awake and thinking you can't go to the loo or make a cup of tea or whatever. Thankfully the people we stay with (mostly my DD) don't mind us getting up early and pottering around. They know they don't need to get up too.

DH and I are both early wakers. It is torture being awake and thinking you can't go to the loo or make a cup of tea or whatever

This ^^

Do you have a bathroom/toilet downstairs? Wondering if you could ask them to go straight downstairs when they get up and brush their teeth etc down there to keep the noise down upstairs. It would mean your DH would be better staying in bed with you and DD but could help you all stay asleep!

They need to have a shorter visit or stay in a hotel/ Airbnb next time. My parents are the opposite and stay up much later and quite often my Mum spends an hour banging around in the kitchen at midnight! They are only allowed to stay for 3 days and I shove earplugs in. Doesn’t affect my kids though as they sleep through everything.

Why is there pages of discussion on what OP needs to do with her DD - surely there’s one single answer - the parents stop waking everyone up or they go home tomorrow. Why put up with their behaviour?

Because it's incredibly rude to kick guests out mid-stay?

Bloomin heck Op

She is 4! If her behaviour is as horrific as you seem to think it is - then it won’t be down to missing a mere hours sleep

It’s 6.30

not 3.30

Sounds like the main issue is that DD is in your room and is probably more likely to be woken up due to being in a different room and sharing with you.

I wake up earlier these days than I used to ( would try not to wake others up ) and I can assure you I'd be very grumpy if people tried to keep me awake past my natural bedtime to encourage me to sleep in.

Not sure why people say 6.30 is a standard time for a 4yo to wake up. Yours doesnt and thats what matters.

OP, I had exactly the same routine as you when my kids were little. No need to get up before 8, so we didn’t. And I still get up at 8 because it works for me. I wouldn’t mind being woken at 7:30, but 6:30 feels like the middle of the bloody night!

Your dad is really inconsiderate. He might need to get up, but he could at least be quiet. If you’re uncomfortable talking to him about it (just guessing because you spoke to your mum), that says quite a lot.

I will say this (again,) but slowly and clearly this time, so the hard to comprehend and hard of thinking can at least TRY to get it.

No-one has said people who wake at 8 AM are lazy, it's just ridiculous to whinge about your guests, getting up just over an hour earlier than you do, when they are staying only TEN DAYS. Get a grip FFS.

The OP sounds very precious, as do a few others on here, who just can't BEAR to wake any earlier than 8.00 AM for a meagre TEN DAYS. Makes me wonder how these people cope in the real world to be honest, ya know, when there's an actual REAL problem.

And I re-iterate... NO-ONE with school age children lies in til 8AM! Not if THEY are the ones getting the children ready/taking them to school, and certainly not if they have an actual JOB to go (that starts between 9.00-9.30 am,) to as well!

Your dad is being very inconsiderate,would he be doing the same if it were working friends he was stopping with and waking up early? I doubt it but as you’re his daughter,and he’s previously been in charge of you, he thinks he can get away with it. You are no longer a child and he should respect you (and certainly hubby’s) routine. I would calmly say that next time they visit ,you will have to rethink where they stop as it’s too disruptive stopping with you, the thought of forking out for a hotel should alter his behaviour.

This. ^ A lot more to this I think..

And I re-iterate... NO-ONE with school age children lies in til 8AM! Not if THEY are the ones getting the children ready/taking them to school, and certainly not if they have an actual JOB to go (that starts between 9.00-9.30 am,) to as well!

I did. For many years. It’s easy enough if the nursery/school is under a mile away and work is 2 miles away.

Actually laughing at this. Some people are so rude to their parents! I wonder if OP ever disturbed her parents for ten days while she was living at their house 🤣 Jesus, our parents are with us for a short time. Enjoy the stay, one day it won’t be possible any more and you will think you’ve been ridiculous whinging about the poor man needing the toilet at 6.30

And I re-iterate... NO-ONE with school age children lies in til 8AM! Not if THEY are the ones getting the children ready/taking them to school, and certainly not if they have an actual JOB to go (that starts between 9.00-9.30 am,) to as well!

Why on earth not? 🤔OP says school starts at 9.15am and is only a few minutes away - why would she need to get up any earlier than 8am when she only has one 4yo to get ready?

You sound a bit jealous to me 😉

Because, parents aside, it is only 22 April and if DD is already struggling with the light evenings then they have two months of worsening pain ahead of them!

You are a winning combination of rude and a bit thick.

NO-ONE with school age children lies in til 8AM! 😂. speak for yourself

And I re-iterate... NO-ONE with school age children lies in til 8AM! Not if THEY are the ones getting the children ready/taking them to school, and certainly not if they have an actual JOB to go (that starts between 9.00-9.30 am,) to as well!

DD gets woken at 7.45, rolls out of bed at 8am and leaves for school at 8.15am. If I wasn’t the one chivvying her to get up, I could wake at 8.15am for a 9am start. Everyone’s lives, and tolerances for sleep, are different.

Why are so many people assuming that the GP sleep in the DD's bedroom?

@prettymaybug what I mean (and this answer has lot of nuances but I'll just keep it simple) is that everyone is different and just because you did things in a particular way, it doesn't mean that the OP's methods or feelings are invalid.