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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has husband gone mad or am I terrible person?

115 replies

Whatonearth3 · 21/04/2023 20:22

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to get your take on a situation that arose this evening. We were sat having our tea with our two DC (age 1 & 2) when a car drove and parked very quickly in front of our house (our house is directly onto the street). This was followed very swiftly by a police car with two police officers jumping out and escorting all of the passengers out of the car. Two men, a woman and child came out of the car and were taken over to the police vehicle.

They were out there for a long time with the men in the back of the police car, whilst the woman and the child were let go and allowed to sit in their own car.

After around 20 mins my husband announced he was going to go out and invite the woman and child into our house whilst they waited. I said that I wasn’t comfortable with this at all, as we have no idea what they’re being arrested for or what they’re involved with. I wouldn’t want them to know who lives at our property, especially not have the knowledge that we have two very small children here.

My husband just couldn’t see my point of view at all!! He’s basically saying I’m being a horrible person. I guess I might be? Or am I in the right here?

Thanks

OP posts:
Poetnojo · 21/04/2023 20:24

I wouldn't invite them in either

Gymmum82 · 21/04/2023 20:25

Nope I wouldn’t. The man that shot and killed that child in Liverpool had a girlfriend and child. She knew what he was up to and turned a blind eye. You don’t know what these people are capable of

Windthebloodybobbinup · 21/04/2023 20:25

I don't think the woman would want a strange man inviting her and her children into a house.

SunshineGeorgie · 21/04/2023 20:25

Doubt the police would let that happen tbh

Sloop89 · 21/04/2023 20:26

Your husband is a good man. I'd have done the same.

Flamingnorahs · 21/04/2023 20:27

I'd be the same as you OP.

HappiestSleeping · 21/04/2023 20:27

I think the police are best left to do their job. Admirable sentiment from your husband, but completely the wrong scenario to apply it.

IamSuperTired · 21/04/2023 20:27

Sloop89 · 21/04/2023 20:26

Your husband is a good man. I'd have done the same.

This

aberlot · 21/04/2023 20:27

It would be really stupid to invite someone into your home who may pose risk. Your DH knows nothing about these people, and what they might do.

RoseslnTheHospital · 21/04/2023 20:28

No, I wouldn't have invited them in. They were sat in their own car, they were perfectly fine and safe. I doubt the police would have allowed it anyway. No need for additional people to insert themselves into a police incident.

carriedout · 21/04/2023 20:28

Your husband is very irresponsible. He has no idea what those people are being questioned about. Inviting possible trouble into your house is foolish.

There is a time and a place for charity and generosity - mid-way through a police investigationa nd in your own home is not it.

hairdresserbreakup · 21/04/2023 20:29

RoseslnTheHospital · 21/04/2023 20:28

No, I wouldn't have invited them in. They were sat in their own car, they were perfectly fine and safe. I doubt the police would have allowed it anyway. No need for additional people to insert themselves into a police incident.

100% this.

RoseBucket · 21/04/2023 20:30

No, interfering with a Police stop, was he just being nosey?

barmycatmum · 21/04/2023 20:30

Oh, HELL no. It’s not even appropriate from a police standpoint.

AP5Diva · 21/04/2023 20:30

Your husband is a nosy Parker. He wanted to find out details.
The woman and child would not have wanted to come in and have tea.

Pixiedust1234 · 21/04/2023 20:32

Same as you OP. Just because she was a woman with a child doesnt mean she's a good person, it just means the police do not think she's violent at this time...and more likely the fact two officers were dealing with two men so neither could look after the child so the woman was tagged "it".

Men rarely see danger in women.

ArmatureDramatics · 21/04/2023 20:32

Tell him to go and volunteer in a charity shop or something.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 21/04/2023 20:35

I would not have invited them in but would have gone to ask if they needed a drink of water etc.

DeflatedAgain · 21/04/2023 20:35

On the fence.

Understand both points of view. I will say I would have not let them in to be honest - seems a bit risky 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sparkletastic · 21/04/2023 20:38

Not necessary to invite them in. Beware people with a saviour complex.

ConkerBonkers · 21/04/2023 20:39

If I was the woman there is no way in hell I would want to leave the privacy and comfort of my car, at an upsetting time, to take up the offer of a strange man, to enter his personal space, so he can (best case scenario) ask leading questions about the upsetting time, ie, the police involvement. The kindest thing is surely to leave them alone. Your husband should know better. with you on that.

ApocalypseNowt · 21/04/2023 20:43

No I wouldn't have invited them in.

My face would be squashed up against the glass though trying to nosey at what was going on...

lunaloveroo · 21/04/2023 20:44

I wouldn't either. If they have a car to sit in then they're fine. Maybe if it was torrential rain I'd consider it.

StupidFaces · 21/04/2023 20:46

Nope. Your DH is being a busy body. Tell him to mind his own business and focus on his own family instead of sticking his nose into someone else’s business. You do NOT want to be involved, who knows where it could lead.

YANBU

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/04/2023 20:47

The police would not have allowed you to anyway. Your DH sounds deranged.