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AIBU?

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Original poster

Has husband gone mad or am I terrible person?

115 replies

Whatonearth3 · 21/04/2023 20:22

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to get your take on a situation that arose this evening. We were sat having our tea with our two DC (age 1 & 2) when a car drove and parked very quickly in front of our house (our house is directly onto the street). This was followed very swiftly by a police car with two police officers jumping out and escorting all of the passengers out of the car. Two men, a woman and child came out of the car and were taken over to the police vehicle.

They were out there for a long time with the men in the back of the police car, whilst the woman and the child were let go and allowed to sit in their own car.

After around 20 mins my husband announced he was going to go out and invite the woman and child into our house whilst they waited. I said that I wasn’t comfortable with this at all, as we have no idea what they’re being arrested for or what they’re involved with. I wouldn’t want them to know who lives at our property, especially not have the knowledge that we have two very small children here.

My husband just couldn’t see my point of view at all!! He’s basically saying I’m being a horrible person. I guess I might be? Or am I in the right here?

Thanks

OP posts:
Outerlimit · 22/04/2023 01:55

I'm sure that Joanna Dennehy would have done a good job of garnering sympathy in the same situation, she was very good at getting men to help her.
I would not want her in my house, with young children or not.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/04/2023 05:13

Twonewcats · 21/04/2023 23:45

I havent rtft so sorry if this has all been said. No WAY would I be ok with a stranger who had been stopped by the police coming into my home.
If you were stopped by the police with one of your kids would you be happier/safer in your car or in a strange man's home? And would your DH be happy with you doing so?

Yet another example of a man not understanding boundaries and thinking things through- even though it was with the right intentions

I agree with this. Some people are very naive.

Poppyblush · 22/04/2023 05:47

Your dh is an idiot

palelavender · 22/04/2023 06:10

Your husband is an idiot. Most of the police's interactions are with criminals - not that many crimes are committed by vicars and Sunday school teachers. Now occasionally they might question somebody completely innocent with no criminal convictions. However, it is likely that the woman is the partner of a criminal. Why on earth would you take the risk of inviting her in and why would she, criminal or not, think it was safe for her and her child to go into the house of a stranger.

Kinneddar · 22/04/2023 06:19

I cant believe some replies on here. As if the Police would let someone stroll up to the car for a start & as for offering them food & drink? 😂😂😂 ffs they're sitting in a car for a bit. It's not like they would have been there hours

God its one extreme or the other on here. Meanwhile on other threads folk are shaking with fear because someone's knocked their door

Seabreeze18 · 22/04/2023 06:22

I think women are more aware of their vulnerability on a day to day basis than men and that becomes heightened when we have kids. Your dh sounds like he has a lovely personality but maybe just not very streetwise in the era we live in. Ultimately you did the right thing.

GP75 · 22/04/2023 06:46

I can see both sides but your DH sounds like a very good man, I like him a lot from what you've said. It must have been a terrifying experience for that little one. We'd probably have asked them in but I understand why others wouldn't.

Ladybug14 · 22/04/2023 07:05

Ah I see. A white Knight. They tend to want to help women Hmm

Thepeopleversuswork · 22/04/2023 07:26

The police wouldn't have wanted the general public inserting themselves into whatever situation they were handling. They would have told DH to piss off if he'd approached any of the people they were helping/apprehending/advising. No matter how "compassionate" he reckoned he was.

This. There’s no way the police would even have allowed that: they would lose control of the situation, bring risk to other people which is a safeguarding problem, and increase the bureaucracy.

Your DH sounds like one of these people who always has to insert himself into the story. It sounds very tiresome.

Thepeopleversuswork · 22/04/2023 07:31

GP75 · 22/04/2023 06:46

I can see both sides but your DH sounds like a very good man, I like him a lot from what you've said. It must have been a terrifying experience for that little one. We'd probably have asked them in but I understand why others wouldn't.

I’m sorry but these posts sound so naive. The DH is a stickybeak with a hero complex who is willing to put his wife and kids at risk so he can act out some weird fantasy of “saving” some random woman who he’s never met.

Mamapiggywig · 22/04/2023 07:34

Take them out a cup of tea if you must, but don’t invite strangers in! The police were actively after them, it’s a no Brainer. They could have had knives on them, drugs on them - the police wouldn’t search and you have no idea.

TeaserandtheFirecat · 22/04/2023 07:37

Your DH sounds like one of these people who always has to insert himself into the story. It sounds very tiresome.

I agree.

billy1966 · 22/04/2023 07:38

Thepeopleversuswork · 22/04/2023 07:31

I’m sorry but these posts sound so naive. The DH is a stickybeak with a hero complex who is willing to put his wife and kids at risk so he can act out some weird fantasy of “saving” some random woman who he’s never met.

Show quote history

@Thepeopleversuswork completely agree.

This would make me cringe and give me the Ick.

Idiot.

Phoebo · 22/04/2023 07:50

Your husband is kind, but an idiot. I wouldn't invite them in either.

paulinesmithson · 22/04/2023 07:53

I wouldn't've invited them in but it sounds like he's just trying to be kind

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