Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do people live

121 replies

pinkshoes87 · 20/04/2023 21:01

I just don't get it... as adults we are meant to pay bills and have savings... pay for kids weddings and uni...HOW????

I earn 28k, get small amount of tax credits and child benefit...

Mortgage is 570, after bills I have nothing and I mean NOTHING.

My car is a 2009 diesel owned outright... I do commute so that's 3 tanks a month (£250-300)

One child in childcare (£25 per week breakfast club plus £80 per week holidays)

I am in despair... I need bathroom repairs, a new kitchen, new flooring and garage fixing (and these are needs not wants, it's all falling apart and my garage roof is fucked)... can't see me ever saving for it and can’t get a loan cos don't have any money for repayments!!!

Surely this isn't normal?!!!

I don't spend anything on luxuries. My phone is PAYG £9 per month. I don't have tv package. I do have internet plus Netflix but I only pay half towards Netflix as I share with a friend (sshhh). I take lunch to work and kids take lunch to school. I cook from scratch and buy cheap food. I don't go out at all anywhere. No takeaways or treats. No clothes or anything for me.

My outgoings are literally bills, food and diesel. Plus whatever kids need.

Is this the new normal????

OP posts:
Flyonthewall01 · 20/04/2023 21:10

Are you able to get a job that’s closer? 300 per month is very high and will be what’s crippling you

Drummend01 · 20/04/2023 21:11

Is that the only wage coming in to the house? For you and multiple children (you said kids so assume at least 2), then yes. Sadly 28k is not enough to comfortably sustain a family these days. Absolute madness and I’m really sorry that you are struggling!

Mamapiggywig · 20/04/2023 21:13

Your diesel bill is high. Could you sell your car for cheaper petrol one ?

Clementineorsatsuma · 20/04/2023 21:13

It's so tough as a single income. I have to work 53 hrs a week to have anything spare.
Tory Britain.

NillyNoMates · 20/04/2023 21:16

I think this kind of life is sadly normal now for most people. It certainly is for me , and for a lot of my colleagues.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:18

how much do you need a car? Can you get rid of it and walk?

TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/04/2023 21:20

If you only have one modest salary coming into the household and you are paying a mortgage and childcare, then things will be very tight. I think that has always been the case and will always be the case, but your mortgage will decrease with time as will childcare costs - things will get better.

motherofkevinnotperry · 20/04/2023 21:25

I know just how you feel op. 30k a month and while I'm not the only income our outgoings are higher and I'm fed up with struggling.

We work our arses off for fuck all benefit. I'm sick of this government. I feel the rich are getting richer but everyone else's quality of life is getting significantly worse. No wonder people are striking.

BasicDad · 20/04/2023 21:27

Agree with PP that £300/month fuel cost for a ~£1900 take home is very high. I would be negotiating salary or looking for work closer to home.

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:28

Do you get any child maintenance and any benefits you are eligible for ? Otherwise things are always going to be tight on one income. No-one is expected to pay for kids weddings and if your kids go to Uni they will get full maintainence loan, much more than dual income households so maybe no need to help with Uni costs.

Iminthemoneylife · 20/04/2023 21:29

Are you single? Are you claiming CM for the children’s other parent.

Spendonsend · 20/04/2023 21:30

Its incrediblh tough.
The only bit of give is looking for a job closer to home or is there a possibility of condensed hours so doung 9 day fortnights, or home working a day a week to cut some fuel costs?

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:30

Babyroobs · 20/04/2023 21:28

Do you get any child maintenance and any benefits you are eligible for ? Otherwise things are always going to be tight on one income. No-one is expected to pay for kids weddings and if your kids go to Uni they will get full maintainence loan, much more than dual income households so maybe no need to help with Uni costs.

Sorry just saw you are getting tax credits.

DanceMonster · 20/04/2023 21:32

Sadly, £28k is a low income for a family with two children. Have you got scope to increase your income? Do you get child maintenance?

Merryoldgoat · 20/04/2023 21:32

It’s not easy for lots of people at the moment. It’s really shitty.

What do you do for work? Can you retrain? Upskill?

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 20/04/2023 21:39

It is really shit, I'm sorry.

FWIW I earn quite a bit more than you (also a single parent, mortgage much higher too) and I'm keeping myself propped up with debt. 🤷🏼‍♀️

People say childcare costs reduce in time but my eldest starts secondary school this year and he still costs me more than £80pw in the holidays! I don't know if that's a single parent thing, or just a 'people say weird things' thing 😄 Obviously my childcare costs in termtime are now much lower than they were when my children were in nursery, but (at least) 7 weeks a year of 2x childcare, plus wraparound in termtime, doesn't quite feel like the promised land.

Daisiesandprimroses · 20/04/2023 21:41

Are you a single parent. I guess uou must know for a relatively low earner single parent to at least two kids this would be normal?

Daisiesandprimroses · 20/04/2023 21:44

I just don't get it... as adults we are meant to pay bills and have savings... pay for kids weddings and uni...HOW???

because folks have dual income or earn more. Surely that’s kind of obvious. ?

Original poster
pinkshoes87 · 20/04/2023 21:49

Yes just me, I'm widowed so I'm the only income. Selling my car for a cheaper petrol one wouldn't actually be cheaper, as diesel is more economical due to the commute

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 20/04/2023 21:50

I agree that the fuel is quite low but you do own a house and I'm presuming you have some equity in it. Average rent is now £1000pcm.
Yes, life's tough atm. I don't have dependents and I don't have much of a social life. Things I would have done in the past eg trip to cinema, now I really consider if I actually want to see that film. Meals out are more Whetherspoons than Carter & Miller. I've been to the hairdressees once this year (£30!)

Original poster
pinkshoes87 · 20/04/2023 21:50

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 21:18

how much do you need a car? Can you get rid of it and walk?

No, I live in a village and I commute to work which is an hour each way. I also care for my brother who is an hour away (in the opposite direction to work)

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkshoes87 · 20/04/2023 21:51

Iminthemoneylife · 20/04/2023 21:29

Are you single? Are you claiming CM for the children’s other parent.

Yes I'm single, their father died 4 years ago so I can't claim child maintenance

OP posts:
TheSparkling · 20/04/2023 21:51

I'd say it's pretty normal. Thjgns are really difficult for lots of people right now.
I earn about 24k a year and I'm a lone parent to three teenagers. It's bloody tough. I don't have a spare penny leftover at the end of the month and I don't have your huge petrol bill. I use about £100 a month getting to work and back.
I do get tax credits and I did an online benefits check last week, it said I'd be better off on UC but I'm actually really scared to swap over as I've heard some horror stories.
I always feel like the poor relation at work but I think most people I work with are dual income families so it's not quite as tough.

Daisiesandprimroses · 20/04/2023 21:52

I’m sorry you’re widowed op. I’m still not sure i understand your question, you’re a lower than average earner and a single parent. You must understand that many folks are not in this situation and that’s how, ?

ShowUs · 20/04/2023 21:53

This is why it’s so difficult being a single parent because you only have 1 income and so things will be a struggle.

When your DCs are older you will save on childcare and so you’ll have some extra money.