I've baked my last cake

[Anycrispsleft]

I live in Germany (not by choice, DH got a job here after redundancy). I have two preteen girls and I work about 45 hours a week. Averagely busy. Like I would guess most working parents, particularly mums, most my the weekend is taken up with housework, shopping, home admin etc.

We get frequent (once every 2 months or so) requests from school and the kids' hobbies to bake cakes for cake sales. I've done probably like about 50 cakes at this point. I've never liked it - I don't enjoy baking very much, or having to give up my own time, and I don't think we should anyway be asking strangers for money for things like the kids' school trips when most of the parents in our area are pretty well off (and I would happily offer to cover the costs for another child and have offered to do that in the past).

The latest request came in over Easter and we were away so I didn't see it till I was on the way home. Now I've just got a WhatsApp from the bake sale organiser telling me I have passed the deadline for replying and what cake am I supplying?

AIBU to message her back saying I don't have any time, but here's my husband's number, they can ask him for once? Or just ignore? Or supply a last minute cake? I don't want to piss them off bc the kids enjoy the hobby. I just don't want to do it! I get to Subday night every week and all I have done is work. I don't want to do any more stuff I don't need to.

Is this a joke post? 😅

If OP wanted to buy a cake, I am confident that the many amazing German local bakeries which usually have a vast selection of freshly baked Kuchen will be able to provide?

The idea of someone in Germany going to M&S to buy ready made cake is very amusing and so very British.

Obviously you should just say no, but it could be more fun saying to contact dh if he is up for a laugh. Tell the organiser that it is his new hobby, he is very invested in it but the practise would be really useful. Maybe he is the Heston Blumenthal of the cake world trying out new and original flavours. He would of course be very offended if you baked the next one.

There's regular cake sales in my office to raise funds for this, that, or the other charity, my response when asked to bake is always.... You need someone to buy, so I'll buy. There's always tons of cake!!

YANBU, messaging back saying you don't have the time, ask my husband is perfect. Make them think about what they are always asking the mums.

I don't mind making cakes for my DD's volleyball matches, to sell in the cafe to make money for the team (and there's no expectation, I just offer if I have the time and because I want there to be a GF option even if hardly anyone buys it, just in case), but I would not like to be expected to do it for her school - hobbies are optional, school is not, so the pressure would be different.

Been making cakes for 30 years and never knew this. Thank you. Don't see myself changing now but this was genuinely interesting information for me.

You say NO. It’s not hard. Not making cake this time, too much on.

"Been away, didn't get the message, can't do it this time."

We are also in Germany and often make cakes for various occasions and to raise money. I am fascinated by the cakes taken in, my favourite is the lemon cakes, but also there are some super apple cakes made. I once sent in scones with jam and cream which were really popular, and when savoury food is needed, I used to make tuna mayonnaise sandwiches which go down really well. Never really seen cake bought in a shop sent in. In fact, I feel guilty if I use a Dr Oetker cake mix!
OP, I would reply, you don't have time on this occasion.
Agree that this is can be an extra burden for mothers.

I wouldn't ignore, I'd say I don't have time to do one

If your kids are pre-teen you have done your fair share of cakes for the school bake sale and can hang up your apron.
Time for the mums of younger kids to step up.
I am also in Germany and the day I leave the class WhatsApp group is going to be a very happy one.

That’s how I make cakes, it never fails and the results are as good as the laborious method of creaming, whisking and folding. It’s even quicker if the butter is room temperature and not straight from the fridge.

I have two preteen girls and I work about 45 hours a week. Averagely busy. Like I would guess most working parents, particularly mums, most my the weekend is taken up with housework, shopping, home admin etc.

I'm with the PP's saying pass the great cake-making responsibility onto DH to grapple with.

But also - how much of DH's weekend is taken up with housework, shopping, home admin? He doesn't seem to feature in the parenting or school liaison at all - why is that?

In the past I have bought a cake from the shop and wrapped it in tin foil like I baked it. Sometimes if I am feeling fancy, I might make some icing and slather it on top to look extra believable.

I want to hunt down a German bakery and buy lots of apple cakes etc. now!

OP, I would either say "sorry, no can do," or buy a bakery cake and possibly sprinkle some cat hair on it to make it look homemade ;)

I want to hunt down a German bakery and buy lots of apple cakes etc. now!

I'm looking up recipes now

Buy one or get the kids to make cornflake/rice Krispie cakes

I want to move to Germany for the cakes!

Why? Why does OP need to get involved with this cake thing anyway

Yes, pass this recipe to your DH,

My Mum used to buy them when we were at school and I remember noticing they were being sold for less than she bought them for.

I wouldn't do it.
I don't enjoy baking, I'm not fond of cakes - usually full of unhealthy ingredients.
I rarely donated to bake sales- the few times I did I bought strore cakes and slopped some icing on them.

I know in the UK some charities are moving away from the whole cake sale thing, with high obesity rates and poor diets encouraging peoople to eat more sugar, saturated fat and processed carbohydrate feels a bit unpalatable.

Just say you'll buy a Coppenrath and Wiese Schwarzwalderkirschtorte and drop it off the day before and remind them to take it from the freezer in enough time.

Mother is the default parent here (I'm in Germany too) because the school day ends so early, and in our (village) school i was the only FT working mum. In your shoes I'd do what i did for everything except baking - pass every other request on to your DH. (I'm married to a chef who also does cakes, he always did 2, but his boss let him actually bake them at work if he took in the ingredients, so not the same as you)

There is a lot of parental involvement in German schools. I went to English school and wasn't a parent in UK so i have no real comparison, but so i knew what to expect i joined the equivalent of the PTA, and when it got to secondary i was on all the committees. (evening meetings only). It was a pain, but it got me through it all.

'I am not supplying a cake for this cake sale. Here is DH's number if you would like to ask him.'

Sexist bullshit.

This ^^

A fresh air cake: zero calories for dieters and an unlimited numbers of slices to sell.

Enjoy!