To think other children's snacks are irresponsible?

[cowgirljoey]

The official policy at DS's school (Year 2) is for them to bring a fruit or veg snack from home for break time. This seemed to be what happened when DS was in reception and Year 1, but over time DS tells me that his friends are regularly bringing crisps, chocolate bars and sweets in for their snack(s) and that he is one of the only ones who has fruit/veg each time.

Totally get that this needs fact-checking (I have a few reasons to think is is accurate), but if it is AIBU to think this is something I should contact school about? I don't think it's fair on the kids to be having junk food as a snack, and I've observed myself that lots of them eat barely any of their school lunch, suggesting that they aren't v. hungry at this point (understandable if they've had choc/crisps an hour beforehand). I think that parent are being irresponsible to be giving chocolate as a daily morning snack, but as I have no control over this, AIBU to think that school should be enforcing the fruit/veg policy?

I’m surprised about some of the comments OP. So much for the saying “it takes a village to raise a child” if we can’t collectively promote healthy eating habits amongst our children. End of the day- it’s upto the school to enforce and unfortunately yours appear to have turned a blind eye towards this. At my DD’s state primary- the kids get offered fruit for a mid morning snack- but this may not continue as she’s only in reception.

You need to mind your own business

😂 yep this

This is going to come up again and again in other contexts. Computer games, films over their age, mobile phones, nerf guns, playing on play equipment which is fenced off, walking to places on their own etc. You can’t police other people or school. And no it’s not your responsibility to do it either. You need to learn to say to your kids when they ask why x is allowed to do y, “that’s between them and their parents/ the school/ their teacher, it’s nothing to do with us.”

I would definitely ask them to check and enforce. If their policy is fruit and veg they should be enforcing it.

How do you know how much lunch the kids are earing? Do you police that as well?

This is down to the school, not you. Yes the obesity crisis is a fact, yes if everyone changed their habits we’d all be healthier. But leave this to the school, please.

I have such issues with my child’s primary banning unhealthy snacks due to poor behaviour in the children - the blanket rule is absolutely fine and I’m happy. However, they hugely contradict themselves by giving them junk food as rewards without even checking with parents. THAT annoys me.

I don't think it's fair on the kids to be having junk food as a snack, and I've observed myself that lots of them eat barely any of their school lunch, suggesting that they aren't v. hungry at this point (understandable if they've had choc/crisps an hour beforehand). I think that parent are being irresponsible to be giving chocolate as a daily morning snack

And also...

Not the approach I was thinking of. I would ask for clarity on the policy, as I want to check if my DS comments are accurate, and if they are, whether we need to follow the policy or not.

So you think the parents are irresponsible, it contributes to obesity and puts kids off their school lunch.

Yet you want to know whether or not you can not follow the policy and do exactly the same thing?

I get where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do, however:

• Schools aren't there to parent children, or indeed parent children's parents

• They did a reasonable thing by putting a clear policy in place and communicating it. I don't think school's should be spending their money extremely stretched resources doing more than that

• For many people who value personal freedom more than rules or social contracts even the policy might feel like a big overstep

• Those people aren't 'wrong' they are just different to you

• I understand what you mean about teaching DC about rules but honestly what they're learning is much closer to real life. It's rare that everyone sticks to rules...might even say it never, ever happens? That there is not one single rule that everyone in society abides by? So honestly if school made everyone abide to the rules they'd have a real shock when they entered real life...

Well no, it's school policy so there are clear guidelines already in place as to what standards are expected. The OP didn't set the rules.

Just because you can smoke indoors with children, doesn't make it right. As with smoking, we are learning more about the detrimental effects of obesity on our health. You'll also see many arguments on here which report that losing weight is not that simple which suggests that it's not just about viewing things at an individual level but more about societal attitudes around food availability and the influence of consumerism on our eating habits.

Personally I think healthy eating rules should be enforced. Like motorcycle helmets they are for the general good

YABU to make it a full report. Maybe just mention that your little one has asked for chocolate and crisps like his friends and you were wondering if that would be ok/if the policy had changed? See what they say and go from there. Don’t make it a huge deal though because you’ll get shut down very quickly.

The nursery I used to work at got rid of home lunches and would instead provide a snack each day. They got funding for it, and everyday we’d give the kids things like a biscuit/milk/apple or breadstick/cheese/water.

The reason we did away with home lunches was because there were constant arguments between the children and we’d have to confiscate certain things. One child would be sent in everyday with McDonald’s chicken nuggets! In the box!!! You can imagine how that went down - her parents were spoken to

Hmmm how about I swap the pork scratchings for guide dog scratchings?

Or police dogs, they're pretty responsible too.

I used to send my son to school with a healthy snack, and it invariably came home with him. So sometimes I'd give him a biscuit or crisps. I'd have ignored any notes home telling me what I was allowed to give him. I'd also have told my son not to worry what everyone else is doing regarding snacks.

Is this really because you want the other kids to stop eating what you regard as unhealthy food then, or is it because you want “permission” to give your own child crisps? Either way, is this really what you want to become known for at school?!

(My children’s school supposedly has a fruit or veg rule. One of my children has special needs and a diet of about five “safe” foods which means he gets a packet of mini cookies. We all, parents and staff, agree it’s better he eats something rather than has a hangry meltdown involving throwing chairs or screaming. If you dared breathe a word of complaint in my direction you’d get extremely short shrift. Other families might have financial problems, disability problems or a whole ream of bigger problems than what snack their kids have. There’s kids coming into my child’s class having had nothing to proper to eat since their school lunch the day before. Mind your own damn business.)

You're absolutely right to ask the school if it's enforcing the healthy snacks policy. Most schools don't let kids eat junk food for break because as well as being unhealthy, it affects their behaviour and thus impacts everyone.

Perhaps an email to the Head asking if what your child says is actually happening, or if he's trying his luck. Either way, s/he will probably take notice and hopefully address it if it is an issue, or reassure you if it's not.

It's an Ofsted criteria too

Don't make your kid a target. Someone will work out it was you who raised it with the school, they will tell their kids and those kids will tell others and soon your ds will be labelled as 'the kid whose mum stole the snacks'. He will probably end up being teased for this. The teachers will probably be irritated they now have another job to do other than teaching and that could also impact their relationship with you and your son.

Its really not worth it, just keep sending in fruit and tell your son to ignore what others have.

My DC brought the same apple home from school so often, I named it Kevin and it became part of the family.

OP fresh fruit doesn’t stay fresh for long and it gets squished in bags - it’s probably cheaper to buy a multi pack of chocolate and it won’t go off so quick . My 14 year old son has told me not to give him fruit for school .He wants things quick and mess free to eat so he can get on socialising . He is 6ft and sporty and eats loads of good stuff at home .. you would never know ftom
his pack lunch

DS takes crisps to school for a snack every day, he has ASD and an extremely limited diet to the point me, the school, his paediatrician and dietician all agree he should be given whatever it is that he’ll eat. He’a in a mainstream school, not a lot of people outside those directly involved know he has ASD. I feel a bit sick at the thought of other parents judging me for that

With respect, I don't believe you. If the school "clarifies" that the policy is a guideline, and they can't/won't actually stop children from eating the food their parents have provided, are you going to send your DS in with a packet of Monster Munch and a Curly-Wurly? What about the childhood obesity epidemic/collective responsibility/collapse of the social fabric you're so aerated about?

Pull the other one. You want to impose your weird food-restriction morality on other people's children, and you're pissed off that the school isn't being controlling enough.

🤣🤣🤣 Assistance Snacks!

😂😂😂

You just need to parent your own child OP. If he thinks you're unfair giving him fruit and veg when other kids have junk, then it's your job to either explain and justify your decision to him, or alternatively tell him 'Tough. You're having a banana because its the rules and I said so'. Whichever best suits your style. What you can't do is expect other parents and the school to sheild you from owning your less than popular decisions. I guarantee that you will have the 'But so and so is allowed to...' conversations multiple times between now and the day he's old enough to do as he pleases, so best get used to it!

I'm surprised at the responses here, you have clearly hit a nerve, bit of a Jamie Oliver/turkey twizzlers moment.
You are absolutely right that schools should uphold healthy eating practices.

Parents are free to feed their kids rubbish at home if they really want to, but not at school.