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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH left kids in car

185 replies

eatsleepeatrepeat · 17/04/2023 20:41

DH was driving back from kids club with DC1&2 (7mo & 2yrs) and stopped at the petrol station for a couple of microwave meals & wine for our dinner tonight, leaving both the kids in the locked car. When he came home I presumed he'd taken them in with him, but then I realised he didn't have the double buggy, so he eventually admitted he left them in the car briefly. He said he had eyes on the car the whole time he was in the shop.

We didn't really have an argument over it but I would just never have left them and was horrified he did, if only for a few mins. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 17/04/2023 21:48

I would have done, and have done the same many times.

Badbudgeter · 17/04/2023 21:49

I used to do this. It’s much safer for little ones to be safely strapped in, in a car than carrying a baby whilst walking a toddler across a forecourt.

Im sure there will be lots of disaster stories but what do you imagine would happen.

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:49

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:46

You don't leave kids unattended in a car. They could take the hand brake off or choke on something.

Forecourts can be dangerous as drivers do not expect to see children. Perhaps the only exception is where they have a dedicated marked area for pedestrians to walk and if any toddlers have reigns.

Show quote history

Ok.

So they take the hand brake off... So what? Forecourts aren't exactly 45° angles leading into shark infested waters....

They choke on something...like what? Presumably you never ever have your kids out of sight ever then? What if they choke on something whilst you're cooking your dinner and they're playing in the living room?

Other divers won't see the children or run them over if they're buckled into a locked car...

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:49

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 21:46

@00100001 don't be ridiculous it was only 4 hours 39 mins!!

I do tend to exaggerate.

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:50

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:49

Ok.

So they take the hand brake off... So what? Forecourts aren't exactly 45° angles leading into shark infested waters....

They choke on something...like what? Presumably you never ever have your kids out of sight ever then? What if they choke on something whilst you're cooking your dinner and they're playing in the living room?

Other divers won't see the children or run them over if they're buckled into a locked car...

Show quote history

Ok.

We clearly disagree on what we are comfortable with.

bloodywhitecat · 17/04/2023 21:51

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:46

You don't leave kids unattended in a car. They could take the hand brake off or choke on something.

Forecourts can be dangerous as drivers do not expect to see children. Perhaps the only exception is where they have a dedicated marked area for pedestrians to walk and if any toddlers have reigns.

Show quote history

If mine got out of their car seat and released the handbrake I'd throw the biggest party going! At age (almost) 3 they still can't sit unsupported, can't roll, can't sit unaided and need me to get up 2 - 3 times through the night to turn them in bed. I am single with not much support, pay at pump isn't common round here (the nearest one is a 50 minute drive away), how the hell do I buy petrol if I don't leave them in the car while I do so? Do Tesco do fuel on home delivery now?

LittleRedYarny · 17/04/2023 21:51

I know I’m missing the entire point of the thread but I’m pretty sure I’m having a childhood epiphany… My parents told me it was illegal for kids to get out the car in a petrol station because of the fumes and the danger, and I had to stay in the car quiet and still so cause an accident or fire… I’m just realising they didn’t want to buy me sweets, the cheap bastards!

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:51

FrenchandSaunders · 17/04/2023 21:46

i have literally never seen anyone get tiny kids out of a car, into a buggy to pay for petrol or pop in a petrol station shop.

Same. But Mumsnet is FULL of parents that take kids into petrol stations.

The only time I ever see them in them if it's a motorway service type petrol station. The ones that are like a londis or whatever z and presumably that's so they can go to the loo/stretch their legs etc

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:52

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:50

Ok.

We clearly disagree on what we are comfortable with.

Show quote history

What are they going to choke on???

Please do enlighten me!

DanceMonster · 17/04/2023 21:53

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:46

You don't leave kids unattended in a car. They could take the hand brake off or choke on something.

Forecourts can be dangerous as drivers do not expect to see children. Perhaps the only exception is where they have a dedicated marked area for pedestrians to walk and if any toddlers have reigns.

Show quote history

I doubt the 7 month old would be taking handbrakes off, and the 2 year old would surely be strapped into a 5 point harness? And choke on… what? The OP didn’t mention that her husband had left the children with food. I don’t give my children food in the car in case they choke while I’m driving, so I certainly wouldn’t give them food while I was going in to the garage?
You’re inventing issues.

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:53

DanceMonster · 17/04/2023 21:53

I doubt the 7 month old would be taking handbrakes off, and the 2 year old would surely be strapped into a 5 point harness? And choke on… what? The OP didn’t mention that her husband had left the children with food. I don’t give my children food in the car in case they choke while I’m driving, so I certainly wouldn’t give them food while I was going in to the garage?
You’re inventing issues.

Show quote history

Next she'll imagine the car exploding

Original poster
eatsleepeatrepeat · 17/04/2023 21:53

Thanks everyone, most of these responses have given me a good laugh, clearly I'm a bit ott! DH is pleased he has been vindicated lol.

OP posts:
nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 21:54

eatsleepeatrepeat · 17/04/2023 21:53

Thanks everyone, most of these responses have given me a good laugh, clearly I'm a bit ott! DH is pleased he has been vindicated lol.

Enjoy the food, the wine and the shag!

Regularcoke · 17/04/2023 21:55

They'd be more likely to be hit by a car on a busy forecourt when crossing it than be in danger sitting in the car.

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 21:56

LTB

Grin
Growlybear83 · 17/04/2023 21:57

00100001 · 17/04/2023 21:46

What risk?

Show quote history

I know someone whose locked car was stolen with their toddler asleep in the back seat from outside a shop where they were in full view and were away from the car for a couple of minutes, so yes, that does make me more mindful that things like that can and do happen. As for safety risks crossing a garage forecourt, I've always paid at the pump if I can, but I've yet to see a forecourt where I have seen any likelihood of being hit by another car while crossing to pay at the kiosk if necessary.

Original poster
eatsleepeatrepeat · 17/04/2023 21:57

@nomoredriving 😂😂😂

OP posts:
NotYourHolidayDick · 17/04/2023 21:59

I feel the need to wade in here...
I accidently (ahem), had a 3rd baby when my older ones were 8 & 6.
I literally forgot her one day. I pulled up outside of the local Co-op, so I could grab milk and bread wine. Totally forgot I had a baby and left her in the car on the side of the road.
My brain just didn't engage 😂
Petrol stations though?! The best shops to browse when you have newborns 😴😴

Snugglemonkey · 17/04/2023 21:59

moonspiral · 17/04/2023 21:46

You don't leave kids unattended in a car. They could take the hand brake off or choke on something.

Forecourts can be dangerous as drivers do not expect to see children. Perhaps the only exception is where they have a dedicated marked area for pedestrians to walk and if any toddlers have reigns.

Show quote history

I have not had a car with a choke in my life and I am 42. I have not had a car with a handbrake for at least 10 years. You cannot get my car (or the last 3) to move a cm without the key present and the ignition switched on with the brake compressed at the same time. I have not had a baby or toddler who could release themselves from their carseat to touch anything. I have never seen a baby or toddler that could reach the brake whilst being able to see buttons.

Forecourts are dangerous, so that is why children should be in their seats in cars and not trailed out to be put on a lead.

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 21:59

eatsleepeatrepeat · 17/04/2023 21:57

@nomoredriving 😂😂😂

Obs after you've eaten and drunk the wine!

00100001 · 17/04/2023 22:00

Growlybear83 · 17/04/2023 21:57

I know someone whose locked car was stolen with their toddler asleep in the back seat from outside a shop where they were in full view and were away from the car for a couple of minutes, so yes, that does make me more mindful that things like that can and do happen. As for safety risks crossing a garage forecourt, I've always paid at the pump if I can, but I've yet to see a forecourt where I have seen any likelihood of being hit by another car while crossing to pay at the kiosk if necessary.

Show quote history

How did they gain entry to and steal the car without the key? Curious. Was this along time ago? Or recently?

Either way, it's incredibly unlikely to actually happen in a PFS when locked.

Most stolen cars are those that are left running idle.

I think if you find the stats for pedestrian injuries in PFS they'll hugely outweigh children being in locked cars that have been stolen.

In fact I would have thought it was more.dangerous to drive the kids to thePFS.than being at the PFS.

DanceMonster · 17/04/2023 22:02

Snugglemonkey · 17/04/2023 21:59

I have not had a car with a choke in my life and I am 42. I have not had a car with a handbrake for at least 10 years. You cannot get my car (or the last 3) to move a cm without the key present and the ignition switched on with the brake compressed at the same time. I have not had a baby or toddler who could release themselves from their carseat to touch anything. I have never seen a baby or toddler that could reach the brake whilst being able to see buttons.

Forecourts are dangerous, so that is why children should be in their seats in cars and not trailed out to be put on a lead.

Show quote history

This is also a good point… I don’t have a handbrake! So can rule that risk out.

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 22:02

@Growlybear83 really? Did your friend leave the key in the car with the engine running?

cushioncovers · 17/04/2023 22:04

I always left mine in the car when I went for fuel.

Oblomov23 · 17/04/2023 22:05

YABVU
They are much safer in the car. You sound overreacting.