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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we can't go to an evening wedding reception with newborn

147 replies

WindUpPenguin · 17/04/2023 14:39

We've been invited to an evening wedding reception. They are actually already married (got married fairly quickly abroad for visa reasons) but are having a reception/celebration this summer. It doesn't start until 7:30 and it's a fair distance from where we live (3 hour drive) so would probably mean an overnight hotel stay, and we will have a newborn (<2 months old).

AIBU to think this is just a no-go? DH thinks it will be do-able, but I am just not sure I will be up to it, and I think managing a tiny baby in the car, at the reception and overnight in a hotel will be tricky!

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 17/04/2023 17:29

It’s definitely doable. But if you don’t want to do it that’s fine too.

TenoringBehind · 17/04/2023 17:29

there really is no way of knowing, and it would be perfectly reasonable to say no now if you don’t want to go.

It would have been impossible with my first child. He cried pretty much non-stop for the first 16 weeks of his life. I was sleep deprived and everything was a horrendous struggle.
child 2 was a much more chilled baby so it might have been doable.

Gruf · 17/04/2023 17:30

We did this. My baby slept in her car seat under the table undisturbed. Very portable when young

Gruf · 17/04/2023 17:31

However if you’ve a unsettled baby it could be hard work

thatsn0tmyname · 17/04/2023 17:33

Finding something to wear that looks good will be the biggest challenge. Then working out how many units can drink between breast feeds. It'll be too loud and your feet will hurt in heels. I wouldn't go ( I'm a joy, aren't I?)

Hellzbellz25 · 17/04/2023 17:36

I couldn't have been bothered getting dolled up when mine were that small so I'd send him alone

kirinm · 17/04/2023 17:42

We took my DD to Poland for a wedding when she was 2 months old. You'll have something resembling a routine by then. It's whether you want to go or not that is the real issue.

supersonicginandtonic · 17/04/2023 17:49

Easiest age to go when they're small, a mobile baby, not so fun 😂

Geranium1984 · 17/04/2023 17:51

Totally depends on the baby and how you feel.
Both mine cluster fed for hours in the evening... like 5pm - 11pm non stop feeding for weeks.
My DD2 had colic and would scream her head off from 7-9pm.
So I wouldn't have gone!
But during the day they sleep a lot so first 8 weeks would have been OK for day time activities.

I'd probably just send your husband, less stress all round!

Nowvoyager99 · 17/04/2023 17:54

I took my pfb to a wedding inc reception when she was just three weeks old!

It was absolutely fine, there was a lovely area within women’s cloakrooms for me to feed in, and she slept a lot. However, the wedding and reception were 15 minutes from my house.

I wouldn’t do all that travelling with a newborn just for an evening reception.

strawberry2017 · 17/04/2023 17:59

Honestly that would be the last thing I wanted to do with a 2 month old.
It's a night do, it's a lot of effort to make for a night do. I personally wouldn't bother.

polkadotclip · 17/04/2023 18:20

googledidnthelp · 17/04/2023 14:47

If it's a reception you want to go to it's doable, if you don't want to go, then it isn't. I found my motivation to get organised and out depended soley on what I wanted to do when DS was that little

100 per cent this!

I did this, because I fancied the outing, the going out but so easy to get back to bed, seeing people, hotel pool next day, nice breakfast etc.

You don't need half the stuff people bring with them, in my view!

Nordicrain · 17/04/2023 18:23

I think it might be doable - newborns are handy in that as long as they have you they are very transportable. But understand not wanting to commit in advance just in case you don't feel up to it.

Could DH go alone?

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:23

Agree with PPs, much easier at 2mths than later.

If you don't want to go, don't go, but there's no reason not to because of baby

User17865 · 17/04/2023 18:26

UnsolicitedOpinions · 17/04/2023 14:52

Come on!!! Nobody is getting their baby out of their car seat every 20 minutes.

In response to OP, I think it just depends how much you actually want to go. If you really want to go, it’s perfectly doable. If you don’t really want to go, it’s the perfect excuse!

Show quote history

Well they should be! We know now that it’s dangerous for them to be in a car seat that long without breaks.
People used to travel without seatbelts but we know better now. I didn’t travel that far when mine were tiny but when we drove an hour away we stopped half way, because that’s what was safest for my tiny baby.

catgirl1976 · 17/04/2023 18:30

I think the baby would be fine.

but I wouldn’t have wanted to go to an event like the one you describe at less than two months after giving birth.

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:32

User17865 · 17/04/2023 18:29

So that actually only says baby needs someone supervising them, I.e. someone sitting in the back seat incase they slump forward. It also only avoid says "long periods" but doesn't say 20 mins anywhere.

user1471517095 · 17/04/2023 18:44

We did, enjoyed ourselves and as she was only a couple of months old we just kept her in her carpet.

M340 · 17/04/2023 18:49

The 20 minutes thing is nonsense.

Lullaby trust says you need breaks every 2 hours for a newborn in a car seat.

To the PP who said they can't be in the seat for more than 20 minutes, would you honestly stop 6 times for a 2 hour drive?

No.

You don't need to.
That's totally wrong information.

Oblomov23 · 17/04/2023 18:52

Entirely doable. I did. You clearly don't want to though, so use baby as an excuse.

Snaaaaacks · 17/04/2023 18:54

Babies are very easy to transport around at that age, if you are breastfeeding there's not really much to think about at all. I took my 5 day old baby to a weekend away to celebrate a 60th birthday at a fancy hotel, the setup was very wedding like. Baby just slept in the carrycot of the pram. It was a few hours drive away too.

I'd both plan to go, if it turns out you can't, let your husband go on his own.

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 17/04/2023 18:55

I've done it. Babies are like handbags in terms of portability at that age. They aren't really into a bedtime either and aren't really that aware of whether a noise is unusual or not.
That doesn't mean you'll be able to fully relax... But you can't do that whether you go out or not with a baby so young anyway, so you may as well enjoy seeing your friends etc.
If give it a provisional yes with the caveat that if nearer the time you don't think you'll cope you can bail.

Tandora · 17/04/2023 18:57

The only problem with this plan is the 3 hour drive. Otherwise an evening reception with a newborn would be fine x

WaitingfortheTardis · 17/04/2023 18:59

@User17865 We regularly travelled over an hour to visit our parents when dd was tiny, we had a lie flat car seat which meant we didn't need to stop. It also doubled as a travel bed for her which was handy.