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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we can't go to an evening wedding reception with newborn

147 replies

WindUpPenguin · 17/04/2023 14:39

We've been invited to an evening wedding reception. They are actually already married (got married fairly quickly abroad for visa reasons) but are having a reception/celebration this summer. It doesn't start until 7:30 and it's a fair distance from where we live (3 hour drive) so would probably mean an overnight hotel stay, and we will have a newborn (<2 months old).

AIBU to think this is just a no-go? DH thinks it will be do-able, but I am just not sure I will be up to it, and I think managing a tiny baby in the car, at the reception and overnight in a hotel will be tricky!

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 17/04/2023 15:03

Is the evening all there is, or is there a daytime ceremony/meal part you aren't invited to?

I'm not sure I would drive three hours and stay in a hotel just for an evening do even if I didn't have a newborn baby.

As for whether it is possible, yes it probably is, unless you have a truly horrendous birth and difficult recovery. Newborn babies are pretty portable. We recently did a 7 hour drive (and back again) to visit my parents with a three month old and a two year old.

PurBal · 17/04/2023 15:05

It’s doable, I’ve done it. Has the baby been invited though?

CastleTower · 17/04/2023 15:05

I went to a wedding with a six week old, but only because it was local (20 min drive). It was ok - I only went to the ceremony and dinner and then drive home. I spent most of the time feeding her tbh. And DH and I had to alternate eating because she only wanted to be held/rocked by someone standing up 😄

I wouldn't say it was easy, and I wouldn't have done it with a long drive or an overnight stay.

katyperryseyelid · 17/04/2023 15:06

We did this with a 8 week old.

I’ve had three and I have always found the newborn stage the easiest time to do things like this when they just eat/sleep.

Appreciate babies are all different though!

GCWorkNightmare · 17/04/2023 15:07

Drove 250 miles every 6 weeks to visit family from when DD from 6 weeks old and stayed in hotels. Wasn’t difficult. 🤷🏻‍♀️

would have gone to a wedding party no probs.

bert3400 · 17/04/2023 15:07

We took our week old baby to a wedding reception. It was great . I BF and we took everything we needed . I slipped off to feed when needed . He got so much attention, I did worry it would all be all about him and not the wedding but that wasn't the case. He is now 21 and is definitely not a party animal so no long lasting effects. But he was DC3 so felt very comfortable taking him and feeding him in public...well not that public 😂

FlounderingFruitcake · 17/04/2023 15:09

I wouldn’t travel 3 hours for an evening only invite, baby or no baby. But that’s generally the easiest age to take anywhere like that, they’re generally quite portable and will hopefully snooze happily in the pram.

shakeitoffsis · 17/04/2023 15:10

Sounds great but I'd leave the baby at home with grandparents if that is an option. Enjoy yourselves.

mondaytosunday · 17/04/2023 15:11

If they don't mind the baby I think it would be doable too. Friends of your baby can sleep with a certain amount if noise and hubbub around.

SparklyBlackKitten · 17/04/2023 15:12

Nothing easier and transportable than a baby. And at almost 2 months your baby is no longer a newborn op...

But if you dont want to go than be honest
Dont hide behind a baby. You have a good excuse to not go if you dont want to
Let your partner go by himself!

WoodenFloorboards · 17/04/2023 15:15

googledidnthelp · 17/04/2023 14:47

If it's a reception you want to go to it's doable, if you don't want to go, then it isn't. I found my motivation to get organised and out depended soley on what I wanted to do when DS was that little

Yep. If you want to do it it'll probably be fine (barring a disastrous birth experiences or a poorly baby). If you don't, then it's a perfect excuse. I took teeny babies to parties reasonably often.

Codlingmoths · 17/04/2023 15:17

It’s hard to know. If you have a strict routine, then you can’t really party all night unless your baby will sleep next to your table in the pram. Ours didn’t so we could have but I would have been too tired to crack a smile at anyone by about 9pm after hours of wedding, much less have fun, baby on the other hand would have started partying. Some posters mentioned a sling. They are awesome. But, I couldn’t have carried baby in a sling for long at that point wirh my wrecked core. We went to San Sebastián with dc1 about 5 or 6 weeks and went round tapas bars with baby tucked away in the sling, but Dh or my sister were wearing the sling not me, just the walking was quite enough for my healing nether regions.

I would quiz your dh what he means by it will be fine. Does he mean you can fuck off to sit in a hotel room with baby all night if that’s what the routine demands? Then no. Does he mean you can try and rock and cuddle and awkwardly feed baby all evening while he socialises and parties? Also no. Does he mean he will do the chunk of the baby carrying, and if you’re exhausted afterwards he will be happy to do some overnight baby shifts the next couple of nights for you to recover? Then I’d think about it.

SnackSizeRaisin · 17/04/2023 15:18

Evening wedding is likely to be ok, unless your newborn insists on breastfeeding all evening like many do. 3 hour car journey probably hellish. The baby may well scream most of the time. I probably wouldn't go on balance. Presumably you'd be invited to the whole things if they really wanted you there anyway

CharlotteDoyle · 17/04/2023 15:19

I went to one with my baby aged 6 months and found it pretty exhausting. I spent ages on my own in a corner breastfeeding in a dress that wasn't really designed for it, and had to leave just as the dancing etc. was getting started. That said, it was still mostly enjoyable and I would have regretted it if I hadn't attended.

Curseofthenation · 17/04/2023 15:19

I wouldn't have enjoyed taking a 2 month old baby to an evening reception personally. It would have to be an immediate family member for me to go through all the faff as I wouldn't have have had much/any fun.

SnackSizeRaisin · 17/04/2023 15:20

shakeitoffsis · 17/04/2023 15:10

Sounds great but I'd leave the baby at home with grandparents if that is an option. Enjoy yourselves.

Overnight at less than 2 months old? Who would do that???

Codlingmoths · 17/04/2023 15:20

I would add it is squarely clusterfeeding age so you absolutely may be feeding baby for hours each evening if you’re breastfeeding! Some babies do, some babies don’t, but it is very common.

Yerroblemom1923 · 17/04/2023 15:21

As long as you're happy to breastfed in public this is totally doable. Babies that age just feed and sleep. You'll be fine. And people love babies so you can hand him over for cuddles with other guests if you fancy a boogie.

Jonei · 17/04/2023 15:22

Totally doable. Unless you don't want to go.

FranksOcean · 17/04/2023 15:24

CatMattress · 17/04/2023 14:43

Babies aren't supposed to be in a car seat for more than 20-30 minutes at a time when they're so young, so a 3 hour trip will take a damn long time with all the breaks required!

I'd bow out, personally.

Where did you get that info

drpet49 · 17/04/2023 15:27

Oysterbabe · 17/04/2023 14:43

I think it will be OK. They are young enough to sleep in the pram.

If they sleep in the pram.

I wouldn’t bother going all that way with a 2 month old for an evening reception. Really not worth your time

wasacasa · 17/04/2023 15:28

I did it and ended up just breastfeeding a lot during the day, I’d rather have done that with my feet up at home. In the evening my baby didn’t just fall asleep in a noisy room and I left early. My poor baby was very tired and very upset. I wish I’d had the energy to stand up to my family and say I couldn’t go.

Coffeaddict · 17/04/2023 15:29

I went to a wedding when mine was 6 weeks old. There too young for routine ect so very transportable. Just pop them in a sling.

The drive is doable but allow plenty of ti.e for breaks

rogueone · 17/04/2023 15:31

It really depends on how you are feeling post birth. I have done it and when babies are new born they tend to eat and sleep so was easy going out. I regularly took my newborn out with my DH as he would be asleep for the entire meal. It gets harder as they get older so if your up to it you might enjoy it

icallshade · 17/04/2023 15:36

I did when my baby was 6 weeks old. At this age they happily sleep anywhere so just take your pram and baby won't even realise.
My now 10 month old would be a nightmare now 🤣

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