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Original poster

To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
Noodlehen · 19/04/2023 19:57

Amazing news! I’m so thrilled for you x

ThreeLocusts · 19/04/2023 19:57

OP fwiw my oldest daughter had a head circumference in excess ot 100th percentile and femoral bones round the 15th ar birth. No chromosomal abnormalities. Took a long time to walk and even longer to jump, but now at 15 her legs aren't even short. All the Hest for the birth!

shellyleppard · 19/04/2023 19:58

OP.....so so sorry you are going through this. A virtual hug is on its way to you. Please try and relax (easier said than done I know) . Good luck with it all x

madeleine85 · 19/04/2023 20:04

The BEST news, i'm so glad it worked out, and you got a great consultant who was very helpful. Hope you have a great night of sleep and rest up before the arrival of your little one xx

Silvers11 · 19/04/2023 20:05

Brilliant News. So pleased for you.

AgrathaChristie · 19/04/2023 20:06

Lovely news, hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy 💐

HernamewasNOLA · 19/04/2023 20:06

Such brilliant news OP!. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy now, it all sounds really positive x

Blossomtoes · 19/04/2023 20:09

Yay! So pleased for you. 🤗

OhwhyOY · 19/04/2023 20:10

ladydorito · 19/04/2023 19:27

Hello everyone, we are home and I just feel so overwhelmed by all these lovely messages. Mums are just the best and I feel so lucky to soon be joining the club.

We've had some really positive news. Our lovely consultant was very clear: he thinks we are having a healthy, happy baby who is just small like mum (and Grandma, and Grandad, and so on!)

One femur is now measuring as small but normal (seventh percentile), the other is still on first - but because baby is breech he said he was really unconfident of that measurement being totally accurate and much more confident that the "normal" femur measurement is the correct one. Humerus is also measuring at or just under one per cent, but the other long bones are measuring broadly normal and in proportion albeit on the smaller side.

He couldn't see a single other worrying marker for Downs or serious skeletal dysplasia, offered me an amino if I wanted one for peace of mind but stressed he didn't think it was necessary and I declined due to the early labour risk.

Only thing he couldn't rule out is achondroplasia (most common form of "dwarfism" which is not life limiting and does not indicate any intellectual disability) but he still stressed it's unlikely as I don't meet the threshold needed to run further tests which is reassuring, although, as I said to him, that wouldn't be a diagnosis either of us would find especially upsetting even if it did come to pass.

I'm being rescanned in three weeks by him but for now have been told to carry on as normal assuming that little one is happy and healthy.

We are both so relieved and went to Waterstones straight after to celebrate by adding to baby's growing book collection, and tomorrow we are putting up the nursery furniture I've not been able to look at (literally had the door closed) for three days.

Thank you again so so much everyone. This really is a special place amid all the madness sometimes! I'll be sure to update with a picture when my little monkey makes their grand arrival... ❤️

Congratulations! Great news. I'm during s few weeks and can imagine how scary this must have been. Here's hoping all goes well from hereon out!

CinderRosie · 19/04/2023 20:11

What a wonderful update OP! You must be so relieved.

Scotlasss · 19/04/2023 20:13

Thanks for updating, fantastic news ❤️

mischlerischler · 19/04/2023 20:14

Amazing news, you must be so relieved Flowers

VariantHela · 19/04/2023 20:16

Didn't want to read and run, but sending you lots of love and support OP.

Growth scans are not always accurate. I was induced early with our baby girl because they thought she was massive...she was 6lb 9oz, tiny, and perfectly healthy x

VariantHela · 19/04/2023 20:17

Just read your update, excellent news!

cowsaysmoo · 19/04/2023 20:18

What a wonderful news OP! Best wishes for the last week's and can't wait to see the photo of the bubba! X

Arthursmom · 19/04/2023 20:22

Amazing news ❤️ enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

TheMagicDeckchair · 19/04/2023 20:23

That must be such a relief, such a great update. Good luck with your next scan!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 19/04/2023 20:25

Fantastic news, OP! I'm really pleased for you xx

Justbekind2yourself · 19/04/2023 20:25

That’s so wonderful to hear 💖

JT69 · 19/04/2023 20:31

Just fabulous news - enjoy creating your nursery. Best of luck moving forwards.

JRWM · 19/04/2023 20:32

Fantastic news!

BertieBotts · 19/04/2023 20:33

I've only just seen your thread and the update - wonderful news.

It is awful getting this kind of speculation during pregnancy because it really can make your mind go in all kinds of directions. I remember being told that we had higher than average chances of a particular syndrome and one of the symptoms was that the children smile a lot. DS2 looked like he was smiling in one of our scan photos, and I originally thought how lovely - and then that evening I made the connection with this syndrome and I couldn't look at the picture any more without feeling sick, it sent me into this awful spin, it was one of the most scared I've ever felt. The only way to rule it out would have been amniocentesis and it turned out there was higher chance of miscarriage induced by the scan than there would have been chance of him having the syndrome, even with our higher chances. So we opted out and I worried about it, but he is now four and doesn't show any signs at all. (Which means he doesn't have it.)

DS3 decided to scare the hell out of all of us by going breech in the waiting room at 36 weeks when I was due to have a routine scan! I had an ECV booked but he turned back again at some point between the first scan and the ECV.

JhsLs · 19/04/2023 20:34

I feel for you so much. After a missed miscarriage which was discovered at our 12 week scan, we finally fell pregnant again. I then had some bleeding in the first trimester (2 small subchorronic hematoma) which was really scary. Almost simultaneously, I was phoned by fetal medicine, instructing me that I had to attend the hospital for a meeting. That day, I was incorrectly diagnosed as HIV positive - the single scariest moment of my entire life, for both me and the baby. The reason I tell you this is because the subsequent 48 hours which I had to wait for further tests to be returned were absolutely horrific. I didn’t get out of bed for 2 days and my husband had to confiscate my phone. Luckily, my situation ended well as they phoned me on the third day to say there had been a mix up with my bloods and I was not HIV positive.
It sounds brutal but whatever happens, you’ll get through it, because you have to. I hope you have so much support around you and I pray that this turns out to be a horrible memory.

DollieBantrysPantry · 19/04/2023 20:37

Wonderful update

oneuponedown · 19/04/2023 20:38

Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy and safe arrival Flowers