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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the Easter bunny leaves an egg for morning

290 replies

littleloopylou · 16/04/2023 21:40

Just found out that the Easter bunny didn't come to my ex's. My child was taken to an Easter event where the bunny had hidden some eggs for many children to find. Ex also mysteriously discovered some eggs in his car that were left by the Easter bunny, a few days after Easter.

My child thinks that the Easter bunny forgot them.

AIBU to think that ex totally dropped the ball on this?

OP posts:
jannier · 17/04/2023 16:24

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 15:32

Google trends chart here for how much "Easter bunny" has been searched for in the UK since 2004 (that's as far back as it will go). Shows a steady increase in interest since then. Wouldn't surprise me if it's become more popular in the age of social media - what's the point in traditions if you can't photograph them for others 😂

Like the dreaded elf on the shelf why would anybody inflict that on themselves on top of all the Christmas stress

countrygirl99 · 17/04/2023 16:25

OP some English people may do it. That will vary between families and possibly regions. That doesn't make it an "English" tradition. Just as many, possibly more people don't follow it so ignoring the Easter Bunny is just as much an English tradition. Just checked with SIL (aged 62 and from the North East) she never knew of it growing up and she and her siblings didn't do it with their kids so not even universal in areas where it seems to have been more widespread.

Lachimolala · 17/04/2023 16:26

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:05

@Okunevo the event he took her to wasn't about my child at all. It was just a minor part of a party that he went to with his girlfriend, and it's clear that not much thought went into the whole thing. My child was very irate about how fake it was. Apparently the parent who organised it did some sort of embarrassing stage whisper to the Easter bunny while obviously hiding the eggs practically in front of the kids.

How this all came up is I asked my child nicely if the Easter bunny came, and they instantly became very upset, saying that the Easter bunny had forgotten etc. I asked questions in a neutral way and tried to reassure them that maybe the EB was confused because my child was not where they normally would be.

When I got to the bottom of what had happened, it all became clear. My ex half-arsed the whole thing and left the real responsibility to his girlfriend, who apparently follows different traditions from what my child and I have grown to expect.

People here are being quite rude about the English thing. I assume this is partially xenophobia. Obviously some English people do things differently, but I did not make up that English people gave my child and I the understanding that this is how the EB works here. It's obviously a custom among a sizable group and my ex knows what my child has grown to expect - or would if he thought of anyone but himself.

In any case, I have a plan to repair the damage so my child doesn't think that they have been overlooked at least.

It’s beyond frustrating when they clearly can’t be arsed to put in 10 mins of effort to set up a little hunt from the EB. Especially as it would make kiddo so happy, can make the effort to go out with his girlfriend to a party though? And all they did for their own child was give them old sweets from the car? Grim.

As I said upthread lazy and half arsed, sorry that your child is feeling like they don’t matter to dad anymore. That must be really difficult for you both.

My ex is unfortunately exactly like this, I’ve learned over the years to just ensure my kids have their fun and cute traditions in my home before they go to his.

jannier · 17/04/2023 16:26

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:07

@ZeroPlastic it is impossible to coparent with my ex, but I now see that he cannot be trusted even to do the fun, magical part of parenting competently. The EB will always come here moving forward, even when my child knows it's fake.

He has made it fun he did an egg hunt how's he to know what you do did you discuss it first

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 16:29

People here are being quite rude about the English thing. I assume this is partially xenophobia. Obviously some English people do things differently, but I did not make up that English people gave my child and I the understanding that this is how the EB works here.

Xenophobia towards who? Many people who grew up in England have said that believing that an actual magical bunny brought eggs was not part of their childhood. It is not 'the English thing', it's what some families do and something your child's nursery did with young children.

Pixiedust1234 · 17/04/2023 16:33

My child was very irate about how fake it was.

You have bigger problems than a no-show easter bunny...

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 16:43

If a child is old enough to get irate about the quality of an event, notice stage whispers amongst adults and relay all the details, then they're probably old enough to cope with the news that the Easter bunny isn't real tbh

Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:50

jannier · 17/04/2023 16:26

He has made it fun he did an egg hunt how's he to know what you do did you discuss it first

Show quote history

Because we used to live together and I always organised the same type of Easter every year?

OP posts:
Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:53

@Okunevo I suggest that you look at the comments above. I never claimed that all English people do this. But the attacks that I have gotten for suggesting that it's a thing anyone does here are OTT.

OP posts:
Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:54

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 16:43

If a child is old enough to get irate about the quality of an event, notice stage whispers amongst adults and relay all the details, then they're probably old enough to cope with the news that the Easter bunny isn't real tbh

Oh, so this should be forced by ex dropping the ball? What about Santa? Do you tell a barely 7 year old the truth about this?

OP posts:
Okunevo · 17/04/2023 16:55

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 16:43

If a child is old enough to get irate about the quality of an event, notice stage whispers amongst adults and relay all the details, then they're probably old enough to cope with the news that the Easter bunny isn't real tbh

Yes, sounds like they have outgrown the Easter bunny. If they had younger siblings or cousins they would likely be moving on a role of helping them find eggs at this age.

Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:56

Pixiedust1234 · 17/04/2023 16:33

My child was very irate about how fake it was.

You have bigger problems than a no-show easter bunny...

Idk what to say. My child is quite sensitive to being laughed at / being treated like they are dumb / dishonesty. Tbh I can see why it would be annoying to have your intelligence insulted by this kind of display.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 17/04/2023 16:56

My child was very irate about how fake it was.

This is the core issue. A child shouldn't be thinking like that, even if it was half arsed they were taken to an event and given eggs. Don't encourage them to be ungrateful and think it isn't enough.

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 16:56

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:53

@Okunevo I suggest that you look at the comments above. I never claimed that all English people do this. But the attacks that I have gotten for suggesting that it's a thing anyone does here are OTT.

You called it 'the English thing'.

Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:59

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 16:56

You called it 'the English thing'.

Show quote history

Apologies if I was imprecise. I meant people have been extremely insulting about any implication by me that this could possibly be an tradition that anyone in England followed. Quite a laugh was had about telling me about other absurd fake traditions, idiot foreigner that I am to believe that the Easter bunny delivering eggs might be a widespread custom.

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 17/04/2023 16:59

And said it was foisted on her by English culture.

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 17:00

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:54

Oh, so this should be forced by ex dropping the ball? What about Santa? Do you tell a barely 7 year old the truth about this?

Show quote history

You can't compare the Easter bunny to Father Christmas. That's an actual tradition that 99% of people do.

1930toEdinburgh · 17/04/2023 17:00

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 15:32

Google trends chart here for how much "Easter bunny" has been searched for in the UK since 2004 (that's as far back as it will go). Shows a steady increase in interest since then. Wouldn't surprise me if it's become more popular in the age of social media - what's the point in traditions if you can't photograph them for others 😂

That hilarious 😂

Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 17:03

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 17:00

You can't compare the Easter bunny to Father Christmas. That's an actual tradition that 99% of people do.

Show quote history

Father Christmas is just as stupid and absurd.

And my child is very intelligent. If the truth about the Easter bunny came to light, they would definitely immediately start to question Father Christmas. The entire fake mythology about mystical beings would crumble.

Again, this is not a rod I made for my own back. My child came home from nursery knowing about the Easter bunny bringing eggs

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 17/04/2023 17:08

And my child is very intelligent. If the truth about the Easter bunny came to light, they would definitely immediately start to question Father Christmas. The entire fake mythology about mystical beings would crumble.

Exactly why adding all these new things we're all supposed to adhere to is such a bad idea - so easy to burst their bubble.

It's not the end of the world if they stop believing in FC btw. They will live.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 17/04/2023 17:08

OP - AIBU?

almost everyone - yes

OP - No I’m not!

honestly OP in the nicest possible way this crap is not worth any more of the time that me, you, or anyone else commenting on it has spent. Jeez you don’t want to know how many times the tooth fairy “forgot” my kids. Even at the time it was a minor whoopsie and not a big deal. This is the same. Of course it may be that it’s not about the EB at all and more about other disagreements/issues with his parenting.

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 17:13

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 17:03

Father Christmas is just as stupid and absurd.

And my child is very intelligent. If the truth about the Easter bunny came to light, they would definitely immediately start to question Father Christmas. The entire fake mythology about mystical beings would crumble.

Again, this is not a rod I made for my own back. My child came home from nursery knowing about the Easter bunny bringing eggs

Show quote history

You didn't need to continue it, you could have said it was a nice story. It is a common thing these days but different families approach it differently. Some say the bunny actually brings eggs, some say it as a bit of fun but the children don't believe, some do hunts for the fun of a hunt without mentioning a bunny, some let children pick out eggs, some do Easter baking and crafts.

Father Christmas on the other hand there is more of a consensus on, but you don't have to do that either, I didn't. My child's childminder did, that didn't mean I had to.

Pixiedust1234 · 17/04/2023 17:16

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:56

Idk what to say. My child is quite sensitive to being laughed at / being treated like they are dumb / dishonesty. Tbh I can see why it would be annoying to have your intelligence insulted by this kind of display.

Show quote history

Nobody laughed at him.

Continuing with the Easter bunny when so many people don't is behaving dishonestly and treating him as dumb if he's as intelligent as you say. I expect several of his peers don't do the easter bunny/hunts either, how do you explain that? By more fabrications? Its time to let this one go OP, its not worth the blood pressure.

Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 17:16

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 17:13

You didn't need to continue it, you could have said it was a nice story. It is a common thing these days but different families approach it differently. Some say the bunny actually brings eggs, some say it as a bit of fun but the children don't believe, some do hunts for the fun of a hunt without mentioning a bunny, some let children pick out eggs, some do Easter baking and crafts.

Father Christmas on the other hand there is more of a consensus on, but you don't have to do that either, I didn't. My child's childminder did, that didn't mean I had to.

Show quote history

Well, I didn't know that I didn't need to continue it. No one told me. And now we are in a situation where my child does believe.

OP posts:
Original poster
littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 17:18

@Pixiedust1234 I'm aware no one was laughing at my child. They are very sensitive to this and always have been. Not sure why.

OP posts:
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