Page 10 | To think that the Easter bunny leaves an egg for morning

littleloopylou · 2023-04-16T20:40:33+00:00

Just found out that the Easter bunny didn't come to my ex's. My child was taken to an Easter event where the bunny had hidden some eggs for many children to find. Ex also mysteriously discovered some eggs in his car that were left by the Easter bunny, a few days after Easter. My child thinks that the Easter bunny forgot them. AIBU to think that ex totally dropped the ball on this?

Qwertyyui · 17/04/2023 12:44

We have always had the Easter bunny. One year it was on her dads weekend. Our DD doesn't like chocolate so I always buy sweets and small presents for the hunt. He got her white chocolate which she slightly likes. She was GUTTED that the bunny didn't remember. Her dad was devastated so I had to do a second hint her last minute throwing what I could from tesco express. Now she is old enough to know the truth she feels horrid that she was so ungrateful in front of her dad! Ha

Even though she knows the truth she still gets stuff left out (sweets and books now) but she doesn't hunt for them. She still also gets a stocking on Christmas that I wait up until she is asleep to put on her bed. She is 13 and when she stays here it will always be the way as long as she leaves a sock out!!

It matters to kids no matter how many people on here do not get it. You are justified to be upset.

Lachimolala · 17/04/2023 12:53

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 12:24

Well a child might also 'find' a stocking on the end of their bed or presents under a tree, so it doesn't imply a hunt to me, not without hunting eggs.

I wonder if the OP made the effort to sound interested in and ask questions about the event that the child was taken to, or if the focus was only on what didn't happened (the one boxed egg appearing at home).

Show quote history

I really have no idea what she asked/said etc, that’s something you’d have to ask OP.

Lachimolala · 17/04/2023 12:55

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/04/2023 12:34

@Lachimolala

oh give over !

the child got eggs and got to go on a hunt

loads more than plenty of other kids

they are not deprived

Show quote history

I’m not sure anyone did say they were ‘deprived’ least of all me.

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/04/2023 12:57

CrotchetyCrocheting · 16/04/2023 21:59

If you kid is really upset just tell them the easter bunny isn't real. It's a game some adults like me like to play. It isn't a game that your dad plays though.

I agree. Its quite a new thing. American? I never had it as a child and didn't do it for my daughter. I don't think my grandchildren did it other than in a jokey way.

Lachimolala · 17/04/2023 12:58

Qwertyyui · 17/04/2023 12:44

We have always had the Easter bunny. One year it was on her dads weekend. Our DD doesn't like chocolate so I always buy sweets and small presents for the hunt. He got her white chocolate which she slightly likes. She was GUTTED that the bunny didn't remember. Her dad was devastated so I had to do a second hint her last minute throwing what I could from tesco express. Now she is old enough to know the truth she feels horrid that she was so ungrateful in front of her dad! Ha

Even though she knows the truth she still gets stuff left out (sweets and books now) but she doesn't hunt for them. She still also gets a stocking on Christmas that I wait up until she is asleep to put on her bed. She is 13 and when she stays here it will always be the way as long as she leaves a sock out!!

It matters to kids no matter how many people on here do not get it. You are justified to be upset.

Exactly this! It’s not hard to make a small amount of effort for the sake of your child. Especially when it’s clear they enjoy their family traditions.

My 12yo is the same, he doesn’t believe at all but he loves the fun of it all and still likes to get stuck in to Easter, Christmas, Halloween traditions etc.

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/04/2023 13:01

It seems to me that the Easter Bunny, Elf on the Shelf and keeping Father Christmas going as long as possible just adds an extra level of anxiety to parents and children.

Fandabedodgy · 17/04/2023 13:09

The Easter bunny has never visited our house. Eggs are gifted by mum and dad, grandparents, aunties etc.

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 13:11

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/04/2023 13:01

It seems to me that the Easter Bunny, Elf on the Shelf and keeping Father Christmas going as long as possible just adds an extra level of anxiety to parents and children.

I agree. I think it's best to keep these things as stories, a bit of fun and magic, not as more and more elaborate attempts to maintain belief beyond early childhood. An Easter bunny in particular should be easy to explain differences in traditions for as it's a rabbit, a creature not a person, it can be unpredictable.

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 13:14

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 13:11

I agree. I think it's best to keep these things as stories, a bit of fun and magic, not as more and more elaborate attempts to maintain belief beyond early childhood. An Easter bunny in particular should be easy to explain differences in traditions for as it's a rabbit, a creature not a person, it can be unpredictable.

Show quote history

I'm SO glad we never embarked on doing Elf on the Shelf. I honestly think it complicates things and actually dilutes the magic of Father Christmas...best to keep it simple.

Wishawisha · 17/04/2023 13:19

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/04/2023 12:57

I agree. Its quite a new thing. American? I never had it as a child and didn't do it for my daughter. I don't think my grandchildren did it other than in a jokey way.

Show quote history

I definitely didn’t believe or wasn’t expected to believe on an Easter bunny growing up, not like Father Christmas. I don’t think anyone I knew growing up actually believed in an Easter bunny to then be devastated to find out it’s all a lie…

My DC do believe in the Easter bunny but I don’t know why really or how we got ourselves into this. I think they heard a lot about the Easter bunny from other people - this year, for instance, they’ve been asked at least 10 times on days out by random people “if the Easter bunny visited” - and we just sought of went along with it. I regret it slightly and think we should have always explained it was a game.

We do some chocolate eggs hidden around the garden - we spend about £10 per child. That’s it. No decorations or presents. A lot of people do though. Neither is right, surely?

The OP clearly has other issues with her ex but on this one issue I don’t think he has done anything too bad.. she got eggs and a hunt.

TuesdayJulyNever · 17/04/2023 13:31

I completely agree with you op. I’ve no idea why you’re getting a hard time but these threads always go like that on MN. Fair enough for people to have different traditions but not ok for your ex to completely drop the ball like that. He’s an asshole.

I wouldn’t gaslight your dc either. Daddy is a liar. It’s much easier to cope with disappointing people when there is honesty around those things. A light “why do you think that?” is a fair and neutral response.

As for the EB, maybe she just got confused when they weren’t in your house? Acknowledge that it’s disappointing, agree a treat to cheer up.

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 13:45

Daddy is no more a liar than the OP.

1930toEdinburgh · 17/04/2023 13:59

You made this funny by your utter horror that your ex did this. Definitely not about the bunny 😂

Original poster

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 14:29

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 13:45

Daddy is no more a liar than the OP.

Trust me, Daddy is a huge liar. I'm sure that his other behaviour influences their views on this topic.

I'm not even sure I have ever told them the Easter bunny came. They just sees the eggs in the morning and draw their own conclusions.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2023 14:49

And yeah, the fact that my kid came home from English nursery believing in said magical rabbit does tell me that the people saying it's not in any way an English tradition are just deluded or wrong.

So you're saying that your toddler child's understanding of something that they were told at nursery and you interpreted is more reflective of English tradition than actual people who were children in England?

Things we did:

Painted boiled eggs
Rolled them down a hill
Made Easter bonnets
Made and ate hot cross buns
Ate chocolate (delivered by my mum)

No Easter bunnies anywhere. Maybe on packaging but certainly not in the house. It may well be that someone at your nursery told your child something. Many people have told my child many things we told her were stories and we don't believe them.

I know (because I've moved countries a couple of times) that working out other people's traditions is confusing, and everyone does them differently. But that doesn't mean your understanding of them is universal.

Okunevo · 17/04/2023 15:00

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 14:29

Trust me, Daddy is a huge liar. I'm sure that his other behaviour influences their views on this topic.

I'm not even sure I have ever told them the Easter bunny came. They just sees the eggs in the morning and draw their own conclusions.

Show quote history

I meant in regard to the bunny, I didn't realise you hadn't told your child it was the bunny.

It's difficult parenting with an ex where there has been abuse, I've been there. You have to try to support the relationship between the child and their father for the child's sake though. It does sound like he is trying as a parent by taking her to the event.

myveryownelectrickitten · 17/04/2023 15:02

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2023 14:49

And yeah, the fact that my kid came home from English nursery believing in said magical rabbit does tell me that the people saying it's not in any way an English tradition are just deluded or wrong.

So you're saying that your toddler child's understanding of something that they were told at nursery and you interpreted is more reflective of English tradition than actual people who were children in England?

Things we did:

Painted boiled eggs
Rolled them down a hill
Made Easter bonnets
Made and ate hot cross buns
Ate chocolate (delivered by my mum)

No Easter bunnies anywhere. Maybe on packaging but certainly not in the house. It may well be that someone at your nursery told your child something. Many people have told my child many things we told her were stories and we don't believe them.

I know (because I've moved countries a couple of times) that working out other people's traditions is confusing, and everyone does them differently. But that doesn't mean your understanding of them is universal.

Definitely Easter bunny here, northern England, throughout the twentieth century, me (1970s), parents (1950s), grandparents (1930s). It’s a long-standing custom. You can see Easter bunny cards online about the tradition dating back to the 19th century. So yes, definitely an English tradition.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 17/04/2023 15:13

myveryownelectrickitten · 17/04/2023 15:02

Definitely Easter bunny here, northern England, throughout the twentieth century, me (1970s), parents (1950s), grandparents (1930s). It’s a long-standing custom. You can see Easter bunny cards online about the tradition dating back to the 19th century. So yes, definitely an English tradition.

Show quote history

I've got to agree. My grandma (1920s) knew all about the Easter bunny who would deliver an egg.

I'm in the North East and I don't think I know many people who don't talk about the Easter bunny leaving eggs for kids. As far as I remember it's always been a thing

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2023 15:13

But is wasn't for me. So it's clearly regional or based on families.

I didn't know anyone who believed the EB delivered all the chocolate. Either in Scotland or the SE.

Slidingdowntherainbow · 17/04/2023 15:18

Get a grip. My 5 year old wouldn't care less what time of day the Easter bunny came.

Or if the Easter bunny is even a thing! It's about a chocolate egg and a nice time with family.

You're making a mountain out of a molehill. A simple. " Of course they didn't forget about you, you got an egg at the hunt" would be enough.

YOU'RE the one who's created such rigidity around it that it's upset your child. This is a good opportunity for your child (and you clearly) to learn some resilience and when to just let things go.

ZeroPlastic · 17/04/2023 15:24

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2023 15:13

But is wasn't for me. So it's clearly regional or based on families.

I didn't know anyone who believed the EB delivered all the chocolate. Either in Scotland or the SE.

This is the thing- there isn't one set tradition, people do it differently. So for OP to complain that "English people" have foisted a tradition on her not of her choosing and to assume that her ex will do things exactly as she wants with no discussion is a bit U.

The key to all this stuff is communication and allowing a bit of flexibility. Kids cope fine with the idea that Easter (and Father Christmas and the tooth fairy etc) work differently at different people's houses. Best to keep things flexible, manage expectations and try to avoid this stuff becoming a bone of contention between ex partners.

Sourfairy · 17/04/2023 15:32

Google trends chart here for how much "Easter bunny" has been searched for in the UK since 2004 (that's as far back as it will go). Shows a steady increase in interest since then. Wouldn't surprise me if it's become more popular in the age of social media - what's the point in traditions if you can't photograph them for others 😂

To think that the Easter bunny leaves an egg for morning

Original poster

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:05

@Okunevo the event he took her to wasn't about my child at all. It was just a minor part of a party that he went to with his girlfriend, and it's clear that not much thought went into the whole thing. My child was very irate about how fake it was. Apparently the parent who organised it did some sort of embarrassing stage whisper to the Easter bunny while obviously hiding the eggs practically in front of the kids.

How this all came up is I asked my child nicely if the Easter bunny came, and they instantly became very upset, saying that the Easter bunny had forgotten etc. I asked questions in a neutral way and tried to reassure them that maybe the EB was confused because my child was not where they normally would be.

When I got to the bottom of what had happened, it all became clear. My ex half-arsed the whole thing and left the real responsibility to his girlfriend, who apparently follows different traditions from what my child and I have grown to expect.

People here are being quite rude about the English thing. I assume this is partially xenophobia. Obviously some English people do things differently, but I did not make up that English people gave my child and I the understanding that this is how the EB works here. It's obviously a custom among a sizable group and my ex knows what my child has grown to expect - or would if he thought of anyone but himself.

In any case, I have a plan to repair the damage so my child doesn't think that they have been overlooked at least.

OP posts:

Original poster

littleloopylou · 17/04/2023 16:07

@ZeroPlastic it is impossible to coparent with my ex, but I now see that he cannot be trusted even to do the fun, magical part of parenting competently. The EB will always come here moving forward, even when my child knows it's fake.

OP posts:

CaptainMyCaptain · 17/04/2023 16:11

myveryownelectrickitten · 17/04/2023 15:02

Definitely Easter bunny here, northern England, throughout the twentieth century, me (1970s), parents (1950s), grandparents (1930s). It’s a long-standing custom. You can see Easter bunny cards online about the tradition dating back to the 19th century. So yes, definitely an English tradition.

Show quote history

Well I agree with MrsTerryPratchett. No Easter Bunny other than in pictures me 1950s, daughter 1980s. Grandchildren moreso due to more of this kind of social pressure but not a long standing tradition. I grew up in the North West and the South East.