What will school actually be able to do about this?

[NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease]

DC aged 8 Y4, new pupil joining the class.

The child is so allergic to cats and dogs fur that they have been hospitalised with it according to the mum and they can’t even put up with a small amount of fur on someone on the other side of the classroom, this is apparently the reason they left the last school because of the schools lack of doing anything about it – they live on our street and I gave school permission for my details to be passed on.

The mum is obviously very worried about their DC starting a new school and class and asked me if I know about pets within the class.

I have pets, as does DCs dad. DC has SN, and the animals in both homes are brilliant at helping to regulate emotions and also with their social skills as we do dog parties and obedience training.

I know the teacher has a couple of pets, and of DCs immediate group of friends (6 DC) I only know one without either a cat or dog or both. Then in the wider class I know around 50% have pets, its just the way it is.

The mum of the DC says they left the last school because the Headteacher “refused to keep their DC safe when in class” she said she expected her DC to be in a class with only DC who didn’t have pets and they couldn’t guarantee this so they changed schools.

Apparently they’ve had assurances from the HT that their DC will be safe in class.

The mum doesn’t know we have pets and has not met my DC yet as DC has been with their dad for the last week (home now).

Bar asking for clean unpethaired uniform and asking us to lint roller/change the uniform if it does come into contact with a pet, I don’t see what else the HT can expect. Unless she’s expecting 14/15 families (possibly more due to separated parents) plus the teacher to rehome their animals? Which I don’t think she would ask anyway.

I’m worrying about this though, I don’t want my DC to feel pressured to get rid of their pet due to their classmate – which they would ask of me/ExH due to their SN, they love everyone and wouldn’t want someone to suffer.

So what else can the parent expect the HT to do? And do I need to be worried that I might be expected to get rid of our dog?

Why are people suggesting a special school? This isn't what special schools are for. They are for learning difficulties and learning disabilities. Most children with solely medical needs are managed in mainstream schools now.

I'm sorry, I misread it as year 8.

The mum of the DC says they left the last school because the Headteacher “refused to keep their DC safe when in class” she said she expected her DC to be in a class with only DC who didn’t have pets and they couldn’t guarantee this so they changed schools

Absolutely batshit. There's no way this can happen.
I also don't know why you have wasted a single minute worrying that you will be asked to give up your pet. Of course you won't, that's ludicrous. And if anyone were to suggest it you'd just say no. They can't do a damn thing about it.

The mother is being ridiculous. I appreciate it's horrendous if a child has a severe allergy but if it's so bad that she can't be in a class with people who have pets at home then she needs to be home-schooled.

Plus, children and staff in special schools will have pets too and sometimes even therapy animals coming in.

What is this child going to do when they leave school? Animals are everywhere.

@NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease
Does the child's first name begin with one of the more unusual letters?

Yes Zoolab are in DS special school regularly.
He also has a large constantly moulting dog that helps his autism. He lays on the dog so is always covered in dog hairs.

The school will not ask any parent to re home their pets. The school most likely told the parent that their child will be safe on the school and may not be fully aware of the extent of the allergy. This is a really difficult situation for that parent and the school but isn’t anything you need to concern yourself with. I can’t see the child wanting to force others into giving up their pets. I can’t see the child making others feel bad about it.

It is nice you have been welcoming to the parent. It seems like the school know she is anxious and feel that maybe knowing a friendly face at the school gates might make it easier for the parent.

Barring the child being in a bubble in the class so no pet hair gets near I can't see how it can be enforced. If the allergy is that bad how does the child cope out and about in daily life

This reminds me of when DH's entire office were told they could not wear any scented products, such as deodorant or aftershave, to work the following day as they were interviewing someone with a severe allergy. As it turned out, the person didn't get the job but they did all wonder how it was going to work out long-term if they had.

A child that allergic cannot attend school and even a trip to a restaurant/shop that doesn't allow dogs would be risky due to assistance dogs. I have a friend with a severe pet allergy but that doesn't extend to him making demands on others

Echo this. My DDs SEN school has more animals daily or visiting that the schools of her 5 older siblings have had put together over the years!

I wouldn't even entertain a question about giving up a pet for a reason like this.

ridiculous.

Hi Op @NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease 👋

Home school is the answer,

It's neigh on impossible for any school in the land to totally accommodate her and her daughters requirements of ensuring no pets hairs allergens,

It's better for her to look into looking into therapy that will help gradually for child to accimilatize to Allergn effectively,
Otherwise her life will suffocating restrictive...

This is nonsense.

I'd ignore.

We get a letter from our kid's school every year... There are 3 kids with severe nut allergies, so all 1000 children and the school meals /packed lunches have to ne nut free.... They won't tell us which kids it is though, so who knows which ones need to be warned?

Incidentally, avoidance / isolstion is the exact opposite of what the British allergy society reccomend, in order to avoid kids bring ostricised, and so they can learn to manage their allergies at a young age.

Nobody's going to expect you to get rid of your dog Op, don't be daft, is this for real?
Be honest with the woman, tell her that you have a dog. I don't understand why you didn't just do that as soon as she started to talk about this. Then anything she starts to say about what the school should or shouldn't do you just tell her that it's not something you have any control over and don't want to discuss it any further.
I would let the headteacher know about this, I don't see why you shouldn't, as the school put the two of you in touch with each other. (I work in schools and that sounds very odd to me!).

I am baffled as to why you think you'd need to rehome your pet OP. It's not common to overthink things to this extent. Are you okay?

The mother is totally deluded that no one will ahev pets in the class

About the most you could do is ask those from homes with pets to keep their uniform at school and change on arrival and departure (in a space this child doesn't use). You could ask that the families just keep uniform away from pets / furniture the pet has been on, but compliance is unlikely - the chances are that they'll sit somewhere the dog has been when they put their shoes on.

Or maybe they could vacuum them all on arrival!

Nothing is going to be foolproof though.

Probably the most important thing is to know what the first signs are of a reaction, so that medical help can be sought immediately.

I’d take this as a good opportunity to introduce the idea of public and private space to your DC and choices.
It’s lovely that they want everyone to be happy. But we don’t to that to ans extreme way to the detriment of our personal happiness. This is a useful lesson to learn eg Jean is Vegan. When we go to Jeans house she only serves vegan food. If I go ti a restaurant w Jean I can choose a non vegan option and also serve this in my home. I can offer Jean a vegan option while eating meat myself. Jean is free to leave.
Yes allergies are different so maybe new friend cannot sadly come to your house for a play date but your DC can go to a park with them or similar. These are good lessons to learn about boundaries and how far we are willing to go for others

Gosh yes how terrible unfair that a child may have to move class so someone isn't seriously ill. I bet you are one of those people who eats nuts in aeroplanes despite being asked not to.

Even not pet owning children will be around pets when at friends or relatives houses. It's utter nonsense to expect school to cater to these demands.

It would mean that every child in the school wouldn't be able to have pets , nor would anyone that they visit, so grandparents, friends from other schools, parents that live separately etc .
Even if kids with pets had to change into uniform when they got to school, those uniforms would have come from a pet free home because cat hair gets absolutely everywhere.

It is reminds me of the thread where ops new neighbours had a kid who was so severely allergic to dogs they wanted op to get rid of her dog who had no contact with their kid

Just ignore questions about it and tell her to talk to the HT

I suspect at most there will be a lint roller to be used on the kids as they come in for the day lol